to think that parenting isn't a competition.

[robotlollypopman]

To me, the biggest problem with MN is that too many members look down on others and boast about how good they are at raising children correctly. The breast feeders look down on the formula feeders, the parents who take their children to museums look down on those who choose video games. Too many parents on here make decisions about raising children based on how they appear to others and less about the child's best interests.

I don't recognise Mumsnet from that description.

I would say it was full of rude, sweary, intelligent women arguing, theorising, joking and occasionally talking about their children.

It often takes an outsider to see it.

YANBU with your title, but YABU to think that MN is just like that. How much time have you spent here to draw that conclusion?

You're trying hard tonight robot, I've just read your post about parentsnet.

MN is VERY MUCH like that, on a regular basis. I'm not saying every poster on here is like that but there is a lot of it.

i think some people are competitive regarding their parenting but they are probably just competitive in nature.

thats not a mumsnet thing, whats mumsnet done to you robot? you seem a tad pissed off with it?

YANBU, i have been here for yonks and i think it is a little like that. There is some good advice on here but there is often stealth boasting to a faceless audience!

It's a bit shit here, to be honest.

It used to be better, but every time I log on now it just seems to be crap. There used to be the odd thread that read for hundreds of posts - now there are about 5 or 6 in active convos at any one time of 100 people being outraged and some incredibly innoccuous thing.

I mean, pages and pages of people being outraged that an OP has the audacity to be outraged about something minor. Crapola.

The smuggery of which you speak - i think that's just parenting tbh.

However, i find in RL it is worse. Those who complain about competitive parenting are IME usually the most competitive!

I'm willing to admit that perhaps I was a little heavy handed when I worded this thread. Maybe this was because I always have my hands full? :-) But for any new parent coming on here, (and I was one) any 'mistake' that you make or any choice that you make is often looked down upon here in a gloating manner. You may not even have started a thread or mentioned how you parent but if you see a thread titled 'AIBU to think that I am right to carry a child properly instead of by his ears' and you thought it was ok to carry your child by his ears, you feel like a shit parent. This website has the power to do good but so often it's stolen by those out to prove they're superior parents.

Robot, I really disagree. Frequently on this site, someone will ask a question or for other posters' opinions and the freeflow of information and help that I've seen is heartening. I think it's pretty rare that anyone is made to feel they've made a "mistake"...and if they have (objectively) most people have a pretty relaxed "oh well, not to worry" attitude. What examples have you seen?

Some threads are certainly a triumph of style over substance.

YABU - of course it is a competition, and there are Winners :-)

The onl;y prolem is that what wins has very little to do with the various religious rearing schisms on MN :)

I am an outsider.

Some threads do become quite judgmental, I find. but not all the time.

I have a theory about MN....and I say this guardedly because I do love it....but I think there are some people on here

either

1. aren't listened to in RL and thus come on here and really take very strong positions because its one of the only times they express themselves doggedly.

2. or its the fact that websites are faceless so some people think it allows themselves to be more forthright or rude and thus people let their barriers down.

I hope everything I say on here is as I'd say in RL....... ie with the usual caveats etc.

There's all sorts on here. That's what makes it so interesting. I don't know about you but I can be judgemental, tolerant, wanky, arsey, kind, funny, twatty, sharp and thick within the course of one day. It's people interacting with people, sometimes it shite and sometimes it's brilliant, you can't pigeon-hole it.

No, it's not a competition, so if a post comes across as being a "my child was potty trained and feeding himself while composing music at six months" I tend to ignore it,or just nod and smile.

Indaba talks sense.

I would say that the "my child was potty trained and feeding himself while composing music at six months" style threads tend to be taken down a peg or two / tittered at.

I agree Indaba-except that I wouldn't say it in RL-I am very diplomatic and kindly-I just nod and smile and say 'really' or 'how original' (if a name) or something very bland. It is quite nice to come on here and tell those who take themselves too seriously,or are very dogmatic, or are too possessive etc what I really think! I think that MN is very good at pointing out that parenting isn't a competition.

I don't think that it is too bad if people are genuinely asking for advice-they generally get it, and much of it is good. They tend to come to grief on AIBU because it is very rare that everyone agrees-you have to be tough to start one on there!

Everybody on this thread needs to be really careful they dont fall

Do you believe everything you read on Mumsnet OP?

I take most of it with a pinch of salt to be honest.