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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Guy "weirded out by blood"

35 replies

bloodissue · 19/08/2011 16:09

Name changed for this obviously...

I've been seeing this guy for a round about a month, fantastic sex, get on really well etc. Anyway a few days ago we were getting down to it, and he suddenly acted all weird, lost his mojo etc, wouldn't kiss me. It transpired later via text that he had "either cut me with his fingers or i had come on". His words. I hadn't come on, so he had somehow got a little carried away and cut my fanjo with his fingers...

Anyway since then, he has been incrediably off with me, not texting me back, not wanting to meet or anything and when I challenged him he said he wasn't sure what he wanted to do about us as he has a blood phobia and he is creeped out.

Is he just a silly little boy who I am better off without or is there someway we can sort it out. I do quite like him

OP posts:
WhoWhoWhoWho · 19/08/2011 16:19

How strange!

IMO if he is really into you he would try to get past his blood issue wouldn't he.

Are you planning more children in the future OP? Would you want this guy around in an emergency?

It can't have been a lot of blood can it if you weren't even aware he had accidently scratched you. Confused

I know people can have debilatating phobias and I am usually quite sympathetic but TBH as potential relationship material this guy would have gone down in the desirable stakes with this weirdness about blood. I am quite no nonsense though and much less tolerant than I used to be in terms of potential suitors.

LolaRennt · 19/08/2011 16:20

I'd be sympathetic and see how it goes.

Original poster
bloodissue · 19/08/2011 16:22

I know, i literally had no idea he had scratched me until I text him later that night asking what his problem had been. There was a small amount of blood when I checked but nothing major, this was five days ago and he still is pretty much ignoring me and says he can't get his head round it and see me as sexy. Wtf. Apparantly an ex once lied to him about being on her period. He is really being quite childish.

OP posts:
Original poster
bloodissue · 19/08/2011 16:24

I would be sympathetic but tbh i just don't get the big deal. He caused the blood for gods sake. Plus its pretty hard when he can barely talk to me.

OP posts:
AbbyAbsinthe · 19/08/2011 16:25
AbbyAbsinthe · 19/08/2011 16:26

Also, the fact that you had to wrestle it out of him what was wrong... that would put me off as well.

DontGoCurly · 19/08/2011 16:28

I can't be doing with squeamish men. It's so ....unmanly or something.

I don't think a man with a blood phobia is going to be a keeper in a heterosexual relationship. Women bleed, either he accepts that or he is going to be one lonely man.

I would also find his reaction/attitude of disgust and withdrawal highly insulting.

I'd let him go OP.

WhoWhoWhoWho · 19/08/2011 16:29

my ex did (insert terrbile thing here that may or proably may not be true here) and it has scarred me for life and you need to try to coax me out of my damaged shell and prove you are worthy of me giving you a shot - I am pretty amazing after all and soo worth you running around after me trying to please me and prove to me what a super gf you are Hmm

urgh.

Delete his number from your contacts and find a real man.

Original poster
bloodissue · 19/08/2011 16:29

I think i might have to just not text him anymore, i'm not going to chase the guy and if a small amount of blood produced by his overenthusiastic hand is a major issue for him five days later he probably isnt worth it. He has a slightly high opinion of himself, and i am thinking likes the attention

OP posts:
Poweredbypepsi · 19/08/2011 16:30

That's wierd, I can sympathise with him having a blood phobia but surely the right thing to do would be to say ." goodness i seem to have accidentally cut you do you mind if we stop for now" or something alogn those lines, rather than behave how he did.

worraliberty · 19/08/2011 16:30

Maybe he's scared of Hepatitis or something like that but doesn't want to say?

Original poster
bloodissue · 19/08/2011 16:31

DontGoCurly, thats exactly how i feel. His reaction has made me feel embarrassed and like I have done something wrong. Which I haven't

OP posts:
EdithWeston · 19/08/2011 16:32

I think he's making excuses - and somewhat improbable ones at that.

Dealing with a phobia is difficult, of course. But you can encounter blood anywhere, and he must have some coping strategies in place. Even if on occasion they fail him and he has to remove himself, he will regain his equilibrium.

Sorry to say this but if he were really into you, he'd be apologising, explaining the phobia properly and working out how to carry on. You say "he wasn't sure what he wanted to do about us". Take that at face value.

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn · 19/08/2011 16:33

And has he at any point said sorry for causing you to bleed? Tbh he's making such a big deal of it I wouldn't be able to find him sexy again, see ya!

AbbyAbsinthe · 19/08/2011 16:34

Exactly! Firstly, he caused it! Inadvertently, but he caused it, nonetheless. And secondly, even if he didn't cause it, and you had an unexpected bleed for whatever reason, could you really be with someone that sulks like that over something so trivial?

What WhoWhoWhoWho said as well.

Original poster
bloodissue · 19/08/2011 16:35

I'm not sure Edith as prior to the cut, halfway through our fumblings, he was very very much into me, he did all the chasing etc. I honestly think it is due to the blood. Which in some ways makes it sooo much worse

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 19/08/2011 16:39

The blood phobia I'd be sympathetic about, though it would be tough. The spineless withdrawal from you (no pun intended) I wouldn't be sympathetic about at all. He's a knobber, not for having a phobia but for being a selfish unthoughful self obsessed twat. Get rid.

HannahHack · 19/08/2011 16:41

This is truly weird. If he had a phobia surely he would have freaked out at the time and then been embarrassed by his reaction. You don't sulk about phobias.
Would this have happened if you had got a paper cut reading the papers in bed?
I don't like spiders. I freak out if I see one but I wouldn't refuse to go back to someone's house just because I saw one their iykwim?

Original poster
bloodissue · 19/08/2011 16:41

Number DELETED. Hunt for a man not a boy is on! Absolute knobber. He caused it ffs!!!!

OP posts:
LineRunner · 19/08/2011 16:49

Good for you, OP. I know it's upsetting because you gave so much of yourself to this fledgling relationship, but he really does sound odd and self-absorbed.

EdithWeston · 19/08/2011 16:54

On re-reading, I thought of another possibility. It could be that he's terminally embarrassed about random impotence.

His behaviour after the event still strange, though.

AbbyAbsinthe · 19/08/2011 16:58

Good for you! There is a line in a film.... He's Just Not That Into You, maybe...? Something along the lines of.... 'if you meet someone that you really click with, and you don't want to end it because of that - there are THOUSANDS more of them out there, just the same.'

True dat. Wink

AnyFucker · 19/08/2011 17:00

Why are you worrying about him ?

Why aren't you worrying about the fact that he made you bleed and then appears to have had a hissy toddler tantrum about it, instead of apologising for hurting you

He sounds plain weird

Imagine staying with him. Tip toeing around his self-absorption and apologising for bleeding (or worse still for being inconsiderate enough to have a period )

< shudders >

tootiredtomakeupagoodname · 19/08/2011 17:02

Sounds quite strange have you been having protected sex? Could it be he has a blood bourne virus and doesn't want to let on? Probably just me being dramatic but just a thought Hmm

AbbyAbsinthe · 19/08/2011 17:03

Can you imagine what he would have been like if you had actually come on in the middle of sex? That's always a bit embarrassing, especially with someone new - but he would have made you feel like crap.