... to think this couple are extracting the urine?

[PreviouslyonLost]

I work mainly part-time, DH works off-shore. Two DC, no family nearby to help out but we manage. Our eldest DC is due to start Primary School and will only be in until noon for several weeks. To accommodate this I have used the majority of my annual leave or ensured that DH is home. Another couple who live locally and whose eldest DC will be starting school at the same time are now dropping heavy hints that we should help them out by collecting and looking after their child (This would be from noon until @5pm/or 3.30pm until @5pm when going in for full-days).

There has been no direct request (yet) but lots of 'it'll all work itself out' and 'we're all in the same boat' type comments . The DW of the couple has also commented to me that they could 'drop off their DC in the mornings' at another neighbour's house - a neighbour that otherwise they do not associate with or even speak to but who is a friend of mine.

The other couple are both Primary School teachers and have been off for the Summer Holidays (47 days) ...... so .... AIBU to think that the week before school term resumes in NOT the time to start thinking about childcare, far less make assumptions that other people should take up the slack?

They are taking the mickey. I have an arrangement whereby another Mum helps me out with childcare; I work at the school next to the school where her DD goes. My work finishes 10 minutes after the primary school where her DS and my DS (best friends) go, therefore she collects my DS for me and I collect her DD from school and we meet half way; therefore I don't feel like I am taking advantage.
On days when she doesn't have their car (they are are one car household, like ours), I drive her DD to the primary school and collect mine from hers. It all works out in the end, plus a box of chocolates for her at the end of each term.

hairfullofsnakes I do flowery because I'm a lover not a fighter Hence Ball'less original state. With help I will eventually become an accomplished MN poster. Succinct, clear, and beautifully punctuated...look what you did for my dot dot dots!...but most importantly I got what I came looking for, advice and a way out of a difficult situation. Feels like I've solved one problem only to fall foul of another one, it's that damn reverse Karma ...I knew I was doomed...

youarekidding Life is bloody funny, laughing at my own problem solved it I am beginning to realise that 1 day out of MN is like entering Narnia! (Love lyingwitchinthewardrobe 's name)

EndoplasmicReticulum Thank you for your efforts, here and across thread- not been back yet. Please start a new thread on your theory 'What it takes to be taken seriously'! (Seriously).

vividgingerchilli THAT IS a great reciprocal arrangement, nothing like what ODC were not even offering!

Sorry. I am confused. Has someone accused you of being a troll? FFS. Keep on with the flowery language POL. But I would suggest Jane Austen if you are ever short of something to do.

Pol you are lovely and fuck the anal arses who have nothing better to do than accuse you of being a troll! My flowery posts have spikes! Lol! Night me lovely x

ExitPursuedByATroll I am learning the ropes here bit by bit and really enjoying the depth of actual conversation. They are some funny people around, I love it. Flowery language is me tho'...you can tell I'm more a Shakespeare fan

Happened across another thread and read a reference to this thread. I'm sure it happens a lot. Most of this thread has been advice, which I took, the ODC are indisputably U. I grew Balls and stopped them taking the piss out of me and DH. Result! I am happy...see

OP, have only dipped in and out of this thread

Bollox. I'm rubbish at all this bold writing malarky. Great quote though. Have truly leaked a little

Feel protective of you and your new, quite fragile balls POL! Can't understand people being so nasty! This has been such an inspiring thread. Really helpful in situations where you are trying to tread that fine line between being a helpful, caring neighbour and a doormat!

hairfullofsnakes Don't be trying to turn this thread anal. And if I'm a Troll you're 'Paris Hilton' . You've been awesome, even if my Balls never come close to matching your World Beaters...I can say I knew you

If word actually ever got out that MN's solved a dilemma, would just encourage the public in and where would the dot dot dots end up then?

Tomorrow a 'Family Day'...doors and gates will remain locked. Looking good

Loonytoonie Laughing at those posts, and the rest, made me realise what a stupid situation we were in! Reading other more serious 'I have a selfish user in my life too' posts showed that there's a lot of it about.

NorfolkBroad Knowing you're being used, or worse suspecting it, is no fun. It was trying to tell the difference that caused me sleepless nights. Nasty I don't mind (heard much worse in RL I found an answer to my problem here and laughed my new Balls off at some brilliant comments. That's a win for the good guys surely?

Karmabeliever Internet problem fixed? Good, get posting some new AIBU's...my Balls need exercising

I want to know if the other neighbours popped round with ODC over the weekend?

PoL... Keep on with the flowery language, it's been a delight to read. I think you should start a BLOG.

Ignore anybody who's suggesting you're a troll, I suspect that they don't like the positive attention that your thread, so richly deserved, is getting. ... perhaps they feel a little bit insignificant.

Hope you're having a lovely 'Klingon-neighbour-free' weekend... keep us posted!

Thanks previouslyonlost. I would hate to take advantage, she gets the box of chocolates because she is saving me money paying for an hour a day of childcare when DS was only there for 10 minutes.

Vivid - of course you are NOT like the users in pol's life! What you and your neighbour do for each other is lovely and that is how it should be! It's just a shame there are people like the users that pol knows who take advantage of people as the ironic thing is they would have had a great friend in pol if only they were nice!

Unfortunately there are a lot of users about but there are also a lot of lovely people to!

CoffeeIsMyFriend Just back from a day out with DCs (typical Scottish Summer day, wet grey, and grim - even the seagulls were flying backwards) so if Mr and Mrs Ming the Merciless could not find a glass of wine (or three or four) at the end of their 5 minute walk to the Paradise Motel we wouldn't know! We were around all day Saturday, but traditionally they are not regular visitors then anyway. Perhaps off schmoozing people they count as equals?

vividgingerchilli NO WAY are you anything like this couple! What you describe is a mutual and helpful arrangement. Who wouldn't want a box of chocs as a thankyou?!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I said previously I was a big fan of C.S Lewis from childhood...your name is great! I'm finding it hard enough just getting to grips with all the undercurrents and rules on here! Trying to avoid excoriating outing in RL so sadly the Event Tent Event will have to be sneaked into another poster's AIBU on 'Using Grasping Emotionless Neighbours' thread.

For what it's worth in this cynical Ol' World, all my posts have been genuine and in real time. I didn't even try to shoehorn in a few exploding nannies, or a three-legged dog, or that DH and I were thinking of taking the private jet down to Namibia to collect another rainbow child to add to our family

I P.M'ed Hairfullofsnakes my inside leg measurement, my N.I number, and my SSSC registration...once the F.B.I have checked them out she'll vouch for me

I came here for help, received it in spades, and stayed for the great craic.

ah yes, 4 seasons in one day! Good old Scotland. Have to say whenever we go 'home' we always take the sunshine with us for a few days - sadly it comes back to England when we leave.

You dont go to Scotland for the weather.

Glad you have had a neighbourless weekend.

Now come on, you know the rain is always warmer in summer!

POL is genuine! And lovely too! X

Too tired to write much ...... Fair play to you girl. You did good

POL, I think you missed Annie's post upthread. Just because you have wine in the house doesn't mean you have to open it and offer it to them. Unless they're already popping round when you have a glass in your hand already - and even then, I'd be tempted not to offer, just to see what happened.

I'm laughing at the idea of the neighbours' being told sternly: "Wine is for Mummy and Daddy", which is what I tell my DS. Bless him, he is entirely respectful of this, and I think he would even tell off others if they tried to break the taboo!

CoffeeIsMyFriend Please can we confer on your future holiday dates to the Dark end of the world...you bring home guaranteed sunshine you say? I'll be having some of that please.

WhereYouLeftIt 'Now come on, you know the rain is always warmer in summer!' and we are thankful, we are, for that small mercy!

madrose Cheers, I had the best teachers (NO pun intended) on here. Quite an intensive course tho'...lots of 'grow a pair' advice! This couple sapped all my confidence, I avoided eye-contact with them when they were here I was so confused about the situation we were in.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thanks for that, went back and had a look at Anniegetyourgun 's post. I half answered it I think. It's @7 miles (one way!) to any shop so bulk buying is the answer. DH and I were, in the beginning, guilty of cracking out a bottle whenever ODC visited (a bottle between 4 people is around a glass each so no biggie). But when their visits became more regular we did begin to be a bit . When you've offered the Tea or Coffee, and got a 'Mmm, No thanks'...and you really fancy a glass of wine you've got two choices, wait 'til they could (could be a while or open a bottle in the hope they'll guzzle it and go! They've been for dinner (among a larger group), and had dinner because they arrived just as we were dishing it out, dropped in endlessly, used us to tire out their DCs and yet it was only this year I even got to use their toilet for the first time ever (There is a connected story about their bathroom, but again not on this thread!). We're over 100 miles from the nearest anything, cinema, soft-play, bars, and night clubs etc so Wine 'o clock is THE a big thing round here!

plupervert Can I borrow your clever DS to tutor our DCs?

DH took DC1 to school, a local teenager (18/19?) arrived with ODC's DC1. DC said that at 12 the ODC's DC1 was left standing with the class teacher when all the other children were collected (hearing that made me a bit sad). DH later passed teenager with BOTH ODC's children walking on the road away from ODC's house. Hope to hell that teenager wasn't forbidden from staying in the house with DCs in case thay made a mess? Prefer to think she's a cool babysitter and thinks fresh air for kids is great.

I have just identified 5 film themes correctly on University Challenge...brain now empty, what have you been doing today? Hope it was a Balls at ease one.

On the bright side POL, I doubt a local teenager would look after someone else's kids for free. Hopefully ODW/H hasn't dumped them on a family whose teen feels obliged to help out in order to stop his own mother from being lumbered.

Still, it's up to other people to learn how to say no if they are feeling put upon.

Wow, 100 miles from a pub in Scotland means you must be....hmm. Where?