... to think this couple are extracting the urine?

[PreviouslyonLost]

I work mainly part-time, DH works off-shore. Two DC, no family nearby to help out but we manage. Our eldest DC is due to start Primary School and will only be in until noon for several weeks. To accommodate this I have used the majority of my annual leave or ensured that DH is home. Another couple who live locally and whose eldest DC will be starting school at the same time are now dropping heavy hints that we should help them out by collecting and looking after their child (This would be from noon until @5pm/or 3.30pm until @5pm when going in for full-days).

There has been no direct request (yet) but lots of 'it'll all work itself out' and 'we're all in the same boat' type comments . The DW of the couple has also commented to me that they could 'drop off their DC in the mornings' at another neighbour's house - a neighbour that otherwise they do not associate with or even speak to but who is a friend of mine.

The other couple are both Primary School teachers and have been off for the Summer Holidays (47 days) ...... so .... AIBU to think that the week before school term resumes in NOT the time to start thinking about childcare, far less make assumptions that other people should take up the slack?

well done POL that took some guts.

Have to agree with snakes last post, just tell her she needs to get a child minder same as everyone else.

lexilicious havent heard that expression for years! Must have lived down south for too long.

Well done! I can be a doormat nice person sometimes, but today I was more assertive in a tricky mil situation because of you and this thread! On s different note, we need to remember to call odh and odw nasty names, not just the woman!

I bet that those nasty comments were the 'last few scales finally falling from your eyes' moment.

I wouldn't want her in my house again.

Sorry to say it, but do you think she is saying similar things about you and yours every time she sends her DP around to amuse the children?

Great thread, well done OP, treat yourself do a really nice

And The Certificate for the most 'Testicularly Improved' goes to (drum roll) Previouslyonlost...and the crowd goes wild!

I have a unwavering dislike of this pair (your neighbours, not your manjigglies - they are magnificent) that is growing by the day. I'm really hoping they come across someone who has had a tact lobotomy, who sets them straight.

Whilst their manipulation and selfishness with regards to you and the rest of your community, boarders on pathological and I can totally understand why this stressed you out, it's insidious, it's their poor child that I can't get over. They really would palm them off on anybody, as long as it meant they didn't have to pay? You would think as teachers and all the safeguarding jiggery doodah they have to consider that this would have informed their own decisions? Clearly not.

Wow well done POL!!

I agree most of us who have followed this thread can probably now 'grow a pair' when pushed to the limits!

Plus knowing this delightful pair are actually teachers makes me feel quite ill......

Well done MN its like group therapy!!

I really don't take as long as you think to post on here...I just keep losing HUGE posts mid-typing.

hairfullofsnakes Hello! Missed ya! Don't read too far back upthread. Might make you itchy . Tough day here...and dot dot dots not all they should be (nor' brackets, but like I said was a tough one). Oh, and by the way...I discovered today that MY Balls were actually cunningly disguised, just larger, and much hairier, OVARIES!, I had them all the time can you believe it?

Some divine comedy on here... problem solved conclusively with shared 's 's 's but thankfully, mainly 's.

karmabeliever Nice to see you! T'internet Schminternet...great when it works, but likes to stick two fingers up at us whenever possible. My lost posts were clearer, but one, just one tiny touch on the WRONG key...and GONE! AAarrrggggh, I feel your pain .

Bedfordshire for me...to sleep, perchance to dream...of courage, pom-poms, and My New tackle, best present I ever got. .

Lol POL! Now If you can learn to be tactless (like me! ) and say what I suggested earlier you would do well! Seriously though, I agree that these people should not be welcome in your house. They are poison. You must bin them.

Do you think you could convert to the dreaded religion, POL?

Get a bunch of pamphlets to give to them whenever they drop by.

Invent a new blessing ceremony for every cup of tea/glass of wine.

Teach their children a couple of new songs.

This thread has given me my new favourite word...

Manjigglies!

Thanks Always

This thread is brilliant. Thank you OP. I have laughed out loud reading parts of it and freaked my cat out. Well done to you. I do feel sorry for her DC though and also that these people have caused you so much angst.

Keep those balls a-jiggling. We're all proud of you and I will be waving my pompoms from NZ!

My flabber is well and truly ghasted. She's considering asking a neighbour she hardly knows, who has high schoolers, to look after her 4 year old for two hours a day every day for no pay.

What...what planet...I can't even.

I have only just caught up with this thread, absolutely fab POL. Maybe the mum of the high schoolers will start a thread on here that would be funny

Where are you today pol?!
I think we are getting quite close to filling this thread so you must must promise to start a new thread (I mean a continuation) after this as this will just run and run...

Surely nowhere near filling the thread, as it's only 591 messages, as I type.

I agree with others upthread, who are encouraging you to use this woman's increasingly open unpleasantness to get rid of her. Gossip about her, too. She is a nasty cow (and her DH is also benefiting - don't think he isn't).

Draws up chair, sits down, fixes PoL with a steely stare...

Right, PoL, this is where you need to make a clear decision. This couple have been a gentle irritant in your life for a while, and this childcare thing made them a huge one. You have succeeded and solved it, well done.

Now, you need to draw a line. Don't give them power over your life any more by fretting about how they are treating others, you have to leave others to grow their own pair. You cannot solve the problems of the world.

Your decision is about whether you are now going to call them on their dropping in all the time and contributing nothing. Is what you've done enough, or do you want to tackle that one too?

I'm still quite about the wine thing. Perhaps I'm just a meanie because I only lay in a bottle specially if I've invited someone round... but if someone just turns up, not only without an invitation but at an inconvenient time, I don't get that you're obliged to roll out a bottle for them. It's not a sustainable policy with neighbours who lack that built-in delicacy not to drop round late on Christmas Eve. Besides, it's expensive stuff, even when it's cheap, if that makes sense. What are they going to do - ask you to serve them wine? (Would love to be a fly on the wall if they did. See the headlines next week: Local Couple Stunned By Giant Swinging Ovaries, Doctors Amazed!)

With regard to the glorious couple sponging off everyone in the district by turns, POL, you are probably doing your put-upon neighbours the best favour by setting an example of How To Say No. When Mrs Fizz-door asks you how you got out of morning DC duty, explain your technique and soon she will be adopting it too. Word will get round.

The sad subtext of this thread is that it's sometimes necessary to coach people to be less friendly, open, generous - less community-spirited if you will - because some people take unfair advantage. You should be able to keep your gate open and be hospitable to unexpected guests and take each other's children to and from school, that's what civilisation is all about. Unfortunately it all breaks down when the vampires move in.

Final round up...Friday pick-up passed with drama. Not one reference or comment relating to 'We have no childcare' from ODW. The message has finally sunk in. The 'dropping-in' will 'drop-off' too I think. I've bandied my balls around and sent them (ODC, not my balls, I'm keeping those^ beauties) home to think again .

MrsKwazi Bet ODW is properly confused. I'm sure other couple, Mr and Mrs Ming the Merciless,have learnt a valuable lesson...probably not, but WE won't be part of their cunning plans at least.

BranchingOut I bet that those nasty comments were the 'last few scales finally falling from your eyes' moment. Yes, that made me angry enough to drop any residual sympathy I had for this couple.

ZacharyQuack I've been busy working on your idea, but can't see past 'Kumbaya', such a classic I can't top it! Tho' ritual sacrifice of a bottle of red is one of the central tenets of the new faith.

After a week of naval gazing and introspection about our big problem, I am thrilled to say we're cured of being gullible fuckwits too nice. COULDN'T have done it without you. A million blessings upon you, and remember, THOU SHALT abide by MN.

Now, point me in the direction of all the great new AIBU's I've missed...See you in another life thread Brother.

THANKYOU.

petitepeach Well done MN its like group therapy!!

It is, and it's FREE...can't think why ODW is not on saying 'AIBU...to think I have lost my creepy powers in getting owt for nowt'?

Anniegetyourgun It's a long way to local wine purveyors, have to have a case few bottles in reserve to avoid the horror possibility of not getting my it's wine o'clock kids are in bed fix. .

If you could just turn to page 101 of your hym books and sing with feeling... MN loves us this we know, for AIBU tells us so.

Bless .

Well done, PreviouslyOnLost, "Mistress of the Steel Spherical Objects"...

WorkingItOutAsIGo You should be able to keep your gate open and be hospitable to unexpected guests and take each other's children to and from school, that's what civilisation is all about. Unfortunately it all breaks down when the vampires move in. You are indeed a wise person. It is sad that we are now shutting the gate and locking the doors. I do think that with MN help we have cracked it tho'. ODW showed her hand, and stooped to insulting other people that she wanted to ask to help her. She's busted and knows I know it! I'm feeling good .

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Mistress of the Steel Spherical Objects ...indeedy, they're like Blackpool rock and have MN running all the way through them!

goinnowhere today I was more assertive in a tricky mil situation BRILLIANT, well done...can you feel the power of MN coursing through your new balls body?!

Life is tough enough without other people drinking all your precious fermented red grape juice taking advantage of your good-naturedness. Everyone who posted on this thread took the time to kick my butt lend a hand, give advice, share their stories, and that is the true meaning of 'the kindness of strangers'. ODC are the poorer for being so selfish. And, for those concerned about their DC1 (and DC2) I promise that there's no real neglect...if you discount being brought up in the Church of ME, ME, ME . (I've already begun coaching our DCs in that art of fuckwickery avoidance!)

You sound like me - I am always full of bravado and strong will until I am actually face to face with the person, and then I crumble! My MIL knows how to get to me ... she just keeps pushing and pushing til I give in! DON'T YOU GIVE IN!! I have tried just saying 'no', and it doesn't always work with MIL, so what I do now is have a 'back-up', a little concocted story, so that if/when she presses me, I can tell her exactlty why I can't do x,y,z for her. But just think how unreasonable and rude they are being. And from the way you describe them, they don't even sound like friends, so why would they want you to have their child??? They have probably chatted about it saying, oh don't worry, she'll do it and it will save us x amount not having to pay a childminder. I would never dream of palming my kids off on someone else. Their child is not your responsibility. You will have to feed the child lunch and probably something at teatime, if you want to take your child out you will have to take theirs too, and then what if the parents have had a bad day, and rather than come and get the child straight away, they decide to nip home and have a glass of wine and chill out for an hour? Or do overtime at work? Five hours a day, five days a week, ridiculous! That's classed as a full time job at the jobcentre! You will have less time to spend on your own children. If they hint, ignore them. If they ask, say no. Or bite the bullet, and when they hint, say 'well I certainly couldn't cope with another child.' Firmly and decicively. And so what if they get offended? What they are wanting is outrageous. You are the one who should be offended. Good luck!