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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to think this couple are extracting the urine?

667 replies

PreviouslyonLost · 18/08/2011 15:55

I work mainly part-time, DH works off-shore. Two DC, no family nearby to help out but we manage. Our eldest DC is due to start Primary School and will only be in until noon for several weeks. To accommodate this I have used the majority of my annual leave or ensured that DH is home. Another couple who live locally and whose eldest DC will be starting school at the same time are now dropping heavy hints that we should help them out by collecting and looking after their child (This would be from noon until @5pm/or 3.30pm until @5pm when going in for full-days).

There has been no direct request (yet) but lots of 'it'll all work itself out' and 'we're all in the same boat' type comments Hmm. The DW of the couple has also commented to me that they could 'drop off their DC in the mornings' at another neighbour's house - a neighbour that otherwise they do not associate with or even speak to but who is a friend of mine.

The other couple are both Primary School teachers and have been off for the Summer Holidays (47 days) ...... so .... AIBU to think that the week before school term resumes in NOT the time to start thinking about childcare, far less make assumptions that other people should take up the slack?

OP posts:
milkshakejake · 25/08/2011 15:42

I would've been tempted to just say "can't you just get a childminder, like everyone else?" Surely a CM would pick up the child from school at 3.30 no problem and keep her/him (?) till 5pm?

Is there not an after-school club or anything? I know you still have to PAY for it, but the one at our primary school is v.flexible so good for adhoc arrangements.

Original poster
PreviouslyonLost · 25/08/2011 15:43

StealthPolarBear and ceebeegeebies ODW works the same days I do! We're both part-time. I was confused initially about her being able to do the 12 pickup on her work days...it's now apparent that she can leave her school if she uses this time as 'Lunch' (so she was always able do the 12's, which we didn't think was possible because of her job, but just couldn't be arsed!) and, having managed to get Childminder back onside for next 8 weeks, she is now looking for next victim, who will collect and look after DC1 until 5pm...FOREVER Grin.

OP posts:
jumpingjackhash · 25/08/2011 15:51

Previously, I've been following this thread and salute you (and your balls)! Grin

EldritchCleavage · 25/08/2011 15:53

I'm too shocked to use shocked emoticon.

Brilliant!

Original poster
PreviouslyonLost · 25/08/2011 15:55

milkshakejake No Breakfast/After school club at our school. I wish!

The ODW has gone from 'I don't know what we're going to do next week' (before School started) to 'I don't know what we're going to do ^to cover the 12 pickups' (once term started) to ''I don't know what we're going to do when it's 3.30pm pickups' today! It's clear that they CAN do something about their situation, they just always wanted the free easy way!

OP posts:
milkshakejake · 25/08/2011 16:00

So she only has the CM for the next 8 wks? Are there no other CMs? Or do you think they are just holding on and holding on and hoping some mug will offer to have their child for two hours EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF THEIR SCHOOL LIFE...?! Some people are weird.

ExitPursuedByATroll · 25/08/2011 16:08

Well done POL - very, very impressive ballsiness.

warthog · 25/08/2011 16:14

hats off to you, lost, hats off.

Chocolategirl3 · 25/08/2011 16:16

I too have been lurking and reading avidly each day, I am so impressed with the OP, I fear that in the same situation I may have caved by now! I know where to come if it ever happens!:)

Original poster
PreviouslyonLost · 25/08/2011 16:19

milkshakejake 'So she only has the CM for the next 8 wks?' ODC didn't even have the Childminder organised for first day of term (assumed that someone would be available for 9-12...and then 9-3.30 until 5pm come October) hence why after there was the (failed) attempt to leave child that first morning at ours, I was told by Mrs Fizz/Door that ODW was picking up then going to 'speak to the Childminder'. And Childminders COST money as we all know so a long-term arrangement was clearly NOT made at that time!

OP posts:
stabiliser15 · 25/08/2011 16:20

OP - very very impressed. Well done. When I have situations when I know I need to grow a set, am going to come back to this thread and admire those big balls of yours for inspiration!

LydiaWickham · 25/08/2011 16:22

She's obviously only booked the CM for 8 weeks, I refuse to accept that CM doesn't have spaces after that 8 week period. Or that there's not another one. She's chosen not to have childcare in place in the hope of getting it for free. Stand firm, she's actively doing this now.

Cheeseandharps · 25/08/2011 16:23

I was in a similar situation and took 3 sodding months to grow a pair. POL, I salute you and your balls Grin

ragged · 25/08/2011 16:27

You need to mention CM directly "I'm surprised you're having trouble, I thought you sent X to a Childminder?" "Oh, he doesn't like that CM very much? Oh well then" cheery tone of voice "you'll just have to find another one. Maybe you should consider an au pair or a nanny?"

They are going to crucify you if they ever discover this thread, you know Wink. Almost as good as the electric car debaucle, though, or BallsofSteel's inlaws.

warthog · 25/08/2011 16:29

links please ragged?

Original poster
PreviouslyonLost · 25/08/2011 16:32

Chocolategirl3 I didn't know I had it in me. It wasn't a joke when I said upthread that MN had really changed a life. (Still NO crying at the back there tho'). This situation (all of it) was badly affecting my family and while I'm good at the old flippant comments, I was in bits Sad. The support I have received is phenomenal, and the sheer humour/wit/sage advice in posts has allowed me to bloody well laugh too. I will defend MN to my dying breath for this.

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 25/08/2011 16:33

OP - you don't say what your response was when she described this other neighbour who she considered asking as "simple" and then alluded to the "religion" of the other one she was also considering?
If you didn't respond by challenging those comments you should have - that was your perfect opportunity to create a rift. And to put a prejudiced and discriminatory woman in her place. I hope you did at least cut her off?
And she's a teacher you say? Shock

warthog · 25/08/2011 16:34

if she picks her dc up at 12 in her lunch break, is she taking her / him back to work with her then?

Salmotrutta · 25/08/2011 16:34

Sorry - some commas missing there! Blush

Panzee · 25/08/2011 16:36

You are wonderful. I stand in awe. :) Well done!

Original poster
PreviouslyonLost · 25/08/2011 16:41

ragged They are going to crucify you if they ever discover this thread, you know' ( I know Blush ...but you can't just dabble in fuckwickery and expect people to take it without some kind of retort can you? Grin

OP posts:
CeliaFate · 25/08/2011 16:42

This is fantastic Pol! I'm so in awe of the way you've responded to her increasingly outrageous demands. Well done - I hope she's got the message, but I'd love to hear more about these loons too Grin

Original poster
PreviouslyonLost · 25/08/2011 16:44

Salmotrutta No worries, Hairfullofsnakes will be along shortly, I hope Grin...and you want to see some of MY appalling misuse of brackets today...wasn't pretty!

OP posts:
Salmotrutta · 25/08/2011 16:47

Yes, but did you challenge her statements? She sounds rather nasty actually and that would have given you perfect reason to take umbrage and go all frosty.

Fenella1212 · 25/08/2011 16:53

Oh well done, well done, well done - you're a complete stranger to me POL, but I'm so bloody proud of you!