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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell my DH not to tidy

19 replies

Fuzzled · 14/08/2011 10:29

As a bit of background, I've just started FLYing and am also going back to work tomorrow after my maternity; I'm working from home so while doing 2 hours per day (at a time of my choosing - I love my job! ) it will be relatively easy.

Moving back to today, DH has suggested a tidy up - and I've refused as I want to sort the house myself and deep clean each room as I go.

I have a lovely plan (which no doubt won't work!) of things to do in terms of tidying each room and taking things to the tip and charity shops (and he'll never notice they've gone ) to get my our house back to a nice, easy to maintain home.

He is a brilliant dad, and does do stuff round the house (he's just cleaned out and resealed our shower without being asked. Made a huge mess doing it, but it's done and the mould is gone!) but I just want to declutter and tidy my way. So I've told him to sit down, and watch the football (taped from yesterday)!

AIBU?

OP posts:

Tortington · 14/08/2011 10:31

your just a nutter

HandMini · 14/08/2011 10:33

Hmmm, you sound a bit controlling to me. Why can't you discuss tasks that need doing and split them between you? He wants to help and, you never know, he might have some better/different ideas about how to do the clean up.

oldenoughtowearpurple · 14/08/2011 10:35

he wants to tidy up and you are saying NO on the basis of a plan that you haven't yet had the opportunity to road test?

Be it on your own head...

issynoko · 14/08/2011 10:37

Ever heard of team work?

TrompetteMilitaire · 14/08/2011 10:40

Sounds like a brilliant idea to me. I much prefer it if DH doesn't help/interfere.

BooyHoo · 14/08/2011 10:41

it's his house too. if he wants to clean his way then he doesn't need your permission,just the same as you wont be asking him before you take a load of stuff (presumably some will be his) to the charity shop/dump.

you can still do your deep clean tomorrow regardless of wathe does today.

BooyHoo · 14/08/2011 10:42

what he does

Sewmuchtodo · 14/08/2011 11:20

My DH is a first class cleaner but a rubbish tidier, he can never decide what to charity shop/tip etc so we split our forces.

I go in first and de-clutter, he follows and deep cleans, then I return and make pretty!

Play to each others strengths, is your DH a good gardener etc?

AuntiePickleBottom · 14/08/2011 11:27

i think you are mad, 2 hands make lighter work

Changing2011 · 14/08/2011 11:41

The biggest barrier to my house being clean is ME. My Dp is like yours and very good when he gets going (on the cleaning) but I always want it done MY way, I am far too much of a perfectionist and never finish what I start! Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. I often plan to clean and give myself such a daunting structure that I never really get started. I am also a bugger for buying cleaning products that never get used. When I just grab a clean cloth and get on with it , things get done so much quicker and more often! Good luck going back to work.

wicketkeeper · 14/08/2011 11:48

DH and I have just spent 2 days tidying/decluttering/streamlining our office. We had the most fun!!! I would never throw anything of his away - that would just be wrong. If we do it together we can have loads of 'Are you ever likely to use this again' type conversations, and discuss the best place to put things.

To OP - don't be surprised if he never offers again.

diddl · 14/08/2011 11:50

I´d love someone to tidy so that I could just get on with the cleaning.

EuphemiaMcGonagall · 14/08/2011 12:13

You are a control freak nutter! YABU.

TidyDancer · 14/08/2011 12:25

You are definitely mad and quite unreasonable! I've seen that website before and it almost disturbs me! It's his house too, if he wants to tidy, let him.

worraliberty · 14/08/2011 12:29

I agree with those who have said it's his house too.

Why does it have to be done by you and your way?

Poweredbypepsi · 14/08/2011 12:39

Let him tidy then use flylady to keep it that way/declutter.

Original poster

Fuzzled · 14/08/2011 14:02

I'd let him clean/tidy, but his technique for tidying is to made a pile in a corner of all the junk (in the style of a tower of books of decreasing sizes IYSWIM) and cleaning is a wipe round things - lifting is not thought about.
I therefore end up redoing all the things he has done.
However, he does mow the weed patch grass and deal with a lot of the cooking.

OP posts:

TrompetteMilitaire · 14/08/2011 14:04

Sometimes one person's way of doing things is just better. My DH is much better than I am at taking bins out.

Ephiny · 14/08/2011 14:11

If you want to do it yourself, then fine! I'm sure he'd rather sit and watch TV while it's done for him, I certainly would. A bit weird that he needs your permission to tidy up in his own house though...

Here though we each just get on with the tidying up if we notice it needs doing . No making suggestions or negotiating or planning. It's only tidying - you (or DH) probably could have done it in the time you've spend fussing about it!

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