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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed with DD's therapist?

24 replies

AnotherJaffaCake · 08/08/2011 16:42

DD has to attend therapy once a week. It is a 40 mile round trip for a 45 min appointment. We arrived today, only to find the place locked up. No therapist. No message on the door for us. No telephone call or email to say don't come. Nothing. Really annoying waste of time.

And this isn't the first time she's done it. She was off sick once before and didn't ring to tell us not to come - no message/email at home. We were about to leave when DH rang to say he'd found a message on his mobile to say she was ill - was only by chance DH had been in an area where his mobile worked and he got the message.

AIBU to be really annoyed with her?

OP posts:

Hellishday · 08/08/2011 16:45

No. That would piss me off.
Can you change therapists? Or if not, perhaps always call before you leave? Not that you should have to but it would save a wasted journey.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 08/08/2011 16:47

No, you are not being unreasonable at all - that is very poor service indeed. Next time you see her, you need to give her your mobile and home number again, in really big letters/numbers, so she has no bloody excuse not to contact you. And I'd be billing her for your wasted petrol!

Original poster

AnotherJaffaCake · 08/08/2011 16:49

Yes I will call her office in future to make sure she's there, but what was really annoying is that I agreed a holiday list with her a few weeks ago when she told me when she would be on holiday and I told her when we would be away, and the email ended with "see you on 8th August" and she knew that.

OP posts:

janelikesjam · 08/08/2011 17:02

Its out of order and I think you should ask her some searching questions. You would be completely within your rights to report her to her professional body.

janelikesjam · 08/08/2011 17:03

Or you could ring her every time, beforehand, to check if she is keeping the appointment. It might annoy the hell out of her ("deal with it!") but the message might get home :)

Original poster

AnotherJaffaCake · 08/08/2011 17:13

And another thing - she always makes me feel like she's doing us this huge favour. Apparently there are no other therapists in the area and we have to use her. She said to us once before that we are way outside her area and she wouldn't ordinarily have taken us on - we were referred to her by the hospital. Personally I think she's crap at her job and will try and stop going to her as soon as we can.

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 08/08/2011 17:16

Contact her and tell her that you are not happy with the arrangement that you have, if she has to cancel an appointment.

In all fairness she should have a number that she can reach you on, or an email, if it comers through your phone.

The distance that you have to travel is not her fault, i would take it up with whoever refered you.

Birdsgottafly · 08/08/2011 17:18

If she has D & V, or similar, she is not allowed to work, so it might not be her fault, she may not be 'well enough' to work.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 08/08/2011 17:53

I don't think the OP expects the therapist to work even if ill, Birdsgottafly - it's the fact that the therapist hasn't bothered to let her know that she's not going to be there, so the OP has had a 40 mile round trip for nothing, and has wasted her time and petrol because the therapist didn't let her know the session was cancelled.

Original poster

AnotherJaffaCake · 08/08/2011 18:25

Birdsgottafly I wouldn't expect her to work if she was ill. She's got our home number, my email address, and DH's mobile no. so she has no excuse not to let us know if she can't make it. We live in a very rural area which means we have to travel long distances to hospital etc. I don't mind doing this but do object if it is a wasted journey. Apparently there's no-one else in the area who has the same qualification, according to her.

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 08/08/2011 18:45

Sorry to be intrusive, but is this therapist dealing with emotional or mental health issues? If so, it's absolutely disgraceful that she isn't there as agreed and hasn't made contact.

janelikesjam · 08/08/2011 18:47

There are some great therapists out there, and some human ones (who screw up sometimes) but there are also some arrogant so-and-sos. It is shockingly unprofessional behaviour IMO. Going to a therapy session is not like a trip to the manicurist - often there is a lot of emotional tension and stress involved in the whole thing, and to arrive and the whole thing cancelled without notification can be a horrible feeling.

It sounds like you are being jerked around Jaffacake, or at least taken for granted. How you deal with it I cannot say, as only you are in possession of all the facts, but YANBU. Good luck.

JustFiveMinutesHAHAHA · 08/08/2011 18:48

'Apparently there's no-one else in the area who has the same qualification, according to her^ - I'd be finding out from the governing body myself.

Lou222 · 08/08/2011 18:52

You gave her DH's mobile and she left you a message on it.
If you didn't want her to use that as a contact then you shouldn't have given it to her.
As far as she's concerned she informed you she wasn't going to be there.

cloudydays · 08/08/2011 18:53

I don't blame you at all for being very annoyed after wasting a trip and your dd not getting her session.

Do you know yet whether she tried dh's mobile, like last time? I know that if I really wanted to get a hold of someone, particularly at short notice, and had the choice between an email address, a home phone, or a mobile number, I would ring the mobile as I'd think it was the way the message was most likely to get the person quickly.

I'm not making excuses for her as she could have tried all three ways of getting in touch, but if she has left messages on dh's mobile in the past, and may have done so this time, that's a lot more reasonable than making no attempt to contact you.

cloudydays · 08/08/2011 18:53

x-post Lou

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 08/08/2011 18:54

Lou - that was a previous occasion, not this one, if I read the OP correctly. So far there has been no contact from the therapist for the latest appointment that didn't happen.

HerdOfTinyElephants · 08/08/2011 18:55

Lou, as I read the OP she didn't even leave a message on the DH's mobile this time (that was a previous occasion). Although I do agree that if leaving a message on the mobile isn't good enough then you need to be very specific about that.

ElbowFan · 08/08/2011 18:59

What would happen if YOU were to fail to attend an appointment?
These arrangements should cut both ways, but maybe it would be worth phoning the day before or early in the morning to confirm the appointment another time.

cloudydays · 08/08/2011 19:01

But she did say that last time it was "only by chance that dh was in an area where his mobile worked and he got the message."

So is it possible that she did leave a message on dh's mobile but he didn't happen to have good coverage today?

It doesn't make OP and her dd's day any less crappy, but to be fair it isn't the therapist's fault if dh usually has poor mobile reception and they gave that contact number anyway.

cloudydays · 08/08/2011 19:01

Sorry, "she" in second sentence is the therapist, not the OP, of course.

TheMagnificentBathykolpian · 08/08/2011 19:04

Find another therapist.

Letting you down is bad enough, but saying that she's your only option is unprofessional and attempting to take advantage of you.

cloudy - with the house number, email AND his mobile number, there is no reason for not getting in touch!

cloudydays · 08/08/2011 19:07

Yes, I agree (as I said in my first post) that the therapist could have tried all possible ways of getting in touch. And I agree that she sounds unprofessional and not very nice if she's acting as though OP should be grateful for her services.

But I think it's odd that one of the contact numbers she was given is a mobile that seldom has a signal.

Lou222 · 08/08/2011 20:15

Sorry I read the op wrong.
If she hasn't left you any message at all then I would be v peed off.

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