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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

for not leaving the library?

51 replies

cyanarasamba · 03/08/2011 22:09

Spent an hour or so in the library yesterday - lovely cool place to be! DS (4) wanted to read the books on Space. DD is 9 months old and was sitting on my knee or the floor looking happily at board books.

She wasn't crawling in anyone's way, pulling books off the shelves or chewing them (amazingly). But she has recently found her voice and was incredibly LOUD. She was shouting, crowing with delight at the pictures, blowing raspberries and having a whale of a time.

I tried a bit of shushing but obviously wasn't going to help much. It's a large open libarary and DD's noise did seem to dominate. Should I have taken them both out rather than disturb everyone else?

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 03/08/2011 22:11

No, not unreasonable

if you were in the reference section or people were studying nearby then maybe.
but in the kids section? it's fine

(my mum works in a library and she told me it's alright lol)

festi · 03/08/2011 22:12

I wouldnt have taken her out. most libraries have a quiter space away from the childrens section. I dont think libraries should be strictly quite anymore they are far more inclusive and rightfully so.

muffinflop · 03/08/2011 22:13

were you asked to leave? Not sure I see the problem!

banana87 · 03/08/2011 22:13

Did anyone say anything to you? In my library the kids area is separate from the rest of the library so it doesn't really make a difference. And I imagine Rhyme Time and other things they do for kids is louder than your DD. YANBU.

G1nger · 03/08/2011 22:13

I don't know... Depends on other people's reactions, doesn't it?

Pancakeflipper · 03/08/2011 22:16

No.

Community libraries are not the drab, ssshhh or we glare at you places anymore ( well the best ones aren't). Libraries are about the community. Be respectful but children enjoying books and making noises are welcome - cos' hopefully it will give them a love of libraries that keeps them going all their life and take their families there.

Original poster

cyanarasamba · 03/08/2011 22:17

No wasn't asked to leave but just wondered if other people there might have be thinking I should. I was kind of torn between beaming indulgently at DD and feeling a guilty about the noise level!

OP posts:

G1nger · 03/08/2011 22:18

If no one was giving you the beady eye or making those silly little coughs, I think you were fine. or they really should learn to 'communicate' their displeasure more. ;)

bonkers20 · 03/08/2011 22:20

It's nice of you to think of others. I maybe would have asked a librarian, who I'm pretty sure would have reassured you it was fine.

eandemum · 03/08/2011 22:22

No you shouldn't have left!!
Yr DS & DD were both enjoying themselves - in the children's bit - I assume - and they were learning how to enjoy books etc

If they had been running around / shouting in the adults' section that is different!
(I also work in a library!)

SmethwickBelle · 03/08/2011 22:23

Recently I actually had the chance to browse around our very small local library child free (mine are 4 and nearly 2 so library is normally a bit of a hit and run).

Whilst I was there, there were a lot of families, mums, dads and children squawking about, some much more than I would have let mine get away with but whatever not my problem. Even a parent who let their two kids well over 5 run around like dervishes making a hell of a racket didn't really put me off. Oh the luxury of it not being my problem...

So don't worry too much about your pudding having a squawk. It's lovely you are there at all.

Sirzy · 03/08/2011 22:25

Most libraries now do special activities for children and they certainly aren't quiet so I wouldn't worry at all.

JemimaMuddledUp · 03/08/2011 22:29

The librarians in my local library talk more loudly than I do (I think I have a hushed voice reflex from my days spent in university libraries with librarians who glared at you for breathing too loudly). The children's section gets quite noisy at times, in a good children being excited about books sort of a way. So YANBU.

Cherrypi · 03/08/2011 22:29

They were probably happy to see him enjoying the books. When I was in the library this week the noisiest person was the librarian shouting on the phone to another branch. Think she's in the wrong job. Sometimes parents reading out books to their children really really loudly irritate me but I should probably get over it.

TastesLikePanda · 03/08/2011 22:32

At the risk of 'outing' myself - I am the closest thing to the children's librarian and also very broody

Our unwritten rules are:- Happy Noise is fine - chattering, babies gurgling, bubble blowing, singing etc is fine in the children's library (and tbh most everywhere else in the library) and especially during rhyme time when I am the noisiest person in there!

Angry Noise is not fine - yelling, fighting, tantrums from 'children who are not babies', thumping, the sound of furniture crashing to the floor, swearing etc...

Sorry to be a bit vague, but essentially No, you shouldn't have left the library if you were in the children's section. If you were in a quiet study area, we would 'direct you to a more suitable location' but we wouldn't ask you to leave if you were not being offensive (swearing, racism etc)

LolaRennt · 03/08/2011 22:32

TBH if it could be heard in the refrence bit or where people were studying (its open plan so not sure if they would have or not but possibly) I'd have taken dd (6 months out) people with children shoudln't be forced to stay home but they do have to be tolerant of others and for many people the library is the only place they can study (or they would do it at home). If you were in the kids area and not bothering everyone else then stay

JemimaMuddledUp · 03/08/2011 22:32

Cherrypi - I love loud parenting in the library The other week I saw one over eager mother loudly trying to encourage her DD to look at the ORT books ("look darling, shall we have one of these? You could read it to mummy all by yourself because you are a big clever girl who can read now, aren't you? Oh, sweetheart, come and look what Biff and Chip are doing in this one! It is so funny! Come and read it to me sweetheart!" all in a loud, high pitched voice) when all her DD wanted to do was do some quiet colouring.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 03/08/2011 22:36

My local 'big' library positively encourage the happy kind of noise. Mind you, they build a special kids section that's reasonably removed from the main section. Can be quite the party atmosphere in there at times

notlettingthefearshow · 03/08/2011 22:41

It really depends on the atmosphere of the library and if people were trying to concentrate. Not everyone finds children delightful, especially if they have loud voices! However, if nobody told you to pipe down, I'm sure it was fine.

It's good that you are so vigilant - so many parents imagine that others will be just as entertained by their children as they are!

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 03/08/2011 22:42

I was going to post exactly what Pancake said. Neither you or your DC did anything wrong. Of course you should not have left. Lovely that a little one as small as your youngest was enjoying looking at the picture books.

wellwisher · 03/08/2011 23:01

Well, I'm going to be the voice of dissent: you were unreasonable and selfish. I remember when libraries were held sacred and kept as quiet places - not that long ago either! Nobody seems to have much respect for them these days, and it's sad. Children talking at a normal level in the children's area is one thing, but screaming and shouting is not on - it would have carried through the whole library and disturbed people, even if they were too polite/timid to say (I never say anything when children yell in my library, I just leave).

For future reference, the point of a library is that you can borrow books and take them home. You should have checked out the astrophysics textbooks that your four-year-old was so desperate to 'read' (nice bit of stealth boasting there ) and whatever books your DD was screeching over and gone home, where your DD could have screamed to her heart's content without disturbing people who wanted to enjoy choosing their books in peace.

Original poster

cyanarasamba · 03/08/2011 23:02

The kids section is next to a whole row of computers, but most of the users seemed to have headphones on (even before my DD got started...). It is a large open area so we were not tucked away at all.

Glad I WNBU and not just blinded by the sheer adorableness of my little 'pudding'. Awwww.....

OP posts:

Original poster

cyanarasamba · 03/08/2011 23:04

x-post - thanks wellwisher! AIBU does not dissappoint!

OP posts:

BimboNo5 · 03/08/2011 23:07

No shes a baby its not like she was an eleven year old shouting her mouth off for the hell of it.

4madboys · 03/08/2011 23:07

nice wellwisher

i am assuming you were in the kids bit of the library, in which case it was fine! all my local libraries have a seperatish kids bit, one is even a totally seperate room with its own toilets, changing facilities and special doors that wont let small people out on their own! and it can get very busy, particularly at the wkend as its in the town centre. and busy means noise, but its all kids looking at books etc which is to be ENCOURAGED!

your dd is a BABY, they make noise, she wasnt screaming and crying she was happy! and enjoying the books which is what libraries are for, not just for choosing books and going home!

my library has song and story time, anything BUT quiet.

there IS a reference section upstairs which is quiet but the kids bit isnt :)

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