In thinking 'Karma's Going to Get You' about this? (sorry, long)

[iklboo]

MIL fell out with her next door neighbour (who was her friend) over trivial things. Neighbour married a fairly well to do guy and moved abroad, but was constantly texting/emailing/phoning MIL asking her to buy toys/clothes etc and ship them over to her. She'd pay MIL back but only after a bit of a delay. MIL is a pensioner. She asked friend if she could find someone else who could help her do this for her.

The final straw was when grown up sons of MIL and friend had a row. Friend saw her backside, called MIL a loads of names (I saw text) and stopped contacting at all.

Last week MIL gets a call from Benefits Agency. It appears 'friend' has shopped her for all sorts - saying she is taking in foreign students & being paid £2000 a month (yes she is taking in students, gets £200 a month and declares it), that she is paid another £100 a month by both us and BIL for looking after the grandchildren (not true. We don't 'pay' her and she only sees DS one day a week in school holidays), lots of other stuff. 'Friend' actually sent her an email saying she'd done it, with more name calling etc (I hope you go down you fat cow).

MIL was really upset & scared. She went for the interview with all her bank statementsand it turns out she is actually entitled to more assistance if she applies for it (she won't - she's the type who feels 'ashamed' claiming benefits ).

So, if you're still with me here, AIBU to think Karma will pay a visit to this 'friend' for her spiteful, nasty behaviour over something so trivial?

YABU.... Karma almost never happens. Evil people regularly live long and happy lives, completely oblivious to the casual harm they cause others. If you want to get revenge, you have to do it yourself.

karma is NOT about revenge.

I wouldnt be waiting for Karma, takes too long, id be to busy plotting on a way to get her back but thats just me, ive no doubt others will say oooh just ignore her.
As for the benefits agency, photo copy the nasty email from horrible person to show to benefits officer so they know what type of person they are, if MIL hasnt done anything illegal she has nothing to worry about.

Western interpretation of Karma

'According to karma, performing positive actions results in a good condition in one's experience, whereas a negative action results in a bad effect. The effects may be seen immediately or delayed. Delay can be until later in the present life or in the next. Thus, meritorious acts may mean rebirth into a higher station, such as a superior human or a godlike being, while evil acts result in rebirth as a human living in less desirable circumstances, or as a lower animal'.

I don't think I mentioned revenge..........

YABU, evil minded people never get their come uppance. They continue to make others life a misery while society and the powers that be actively help them for fear of being the nest victim.

What's the about being ashamed at claiming benefits? IME it is very humiliating.

Glad your MIL got it sorted and my advice would be to avoid the other woman like the plague.

No... but revenge is probably what you want. No point in waiting for her to be reincarnated as a gerbil or because, hate to break it to you, that's really not going to happen.

Only good people die. Bad ones live for ever. Have you ever seen a gravestone which says "Here lies AB, a total swine, who died on [date] rightly hated by the entire world"?

If you think the "friend" might try this again you could try to let the Benefits Agency know, perhaps via the bank or another third party, that she has reported falsely and maliciously. It's not really revenge but might prevent her trying the same tricks on someone else. And surely the BA have better things to do than act out people's evil little games for them!

why would you even care if karma got someone. it takes up so much energy thinking like that. you (everyone)will be far happier if you just concern yourselves with yourselves and never mind how the 'evil' people are feeling.

God what a witch!
Glad your MIL had all the paperwork shipshape though - that could have been very nasty.

But I agree with the others - don't hold your breath waiting for "karma" or anything else to catch up with her - it ain't going to happen in your lifetime, I shouldn't think.

Mrsxstitch - not sure a was the right emoticon, sorry. I think it's because she's entitled to so much that would make her life just that little bit easier and she won't. Maybe it's a generational thing?
I'm upset because she's such alovely woman who will go completely out of her way to help someone and this 'friend' did something so nasty.
Maybe 'revenge' = 'comeuppance'. Would that it could be so. Sigh.

I would tell your MIL to reply to the email saying ' thanks for your intervention, it turns out that I'm eligible for more benefits... It appears I've been underclaiming! Much obliged.'

Then block her email address and forget all about her :-)

the right way to respond to this is off course to send friend a thank you..

You know I am so grateful you shopped me to social service as you might not know I have really struggled lately and with your complaint I had to go in and loe and behold I am entitled to so much more and the lovely young social worker was so kind to me and explained to me over a cup of tea and some of those lovely chocolately biscuits with the drizzly chocolate over them exactly how I had to fill the forms in and also how i I applied to the holiday fund I would be entitled to a fourtnight in Antiguia as I had never claimed before. So tata thank you and I might send you a postcard..

lots of love and I'll be seeing you

MIL

Laughs great minds Dharma...

Perhaps it is a generational thing but I doubt very much that I am old enough to be your mother or MIL.

I like dharma's idea but would worry it would lead to her causing more trouble, from what you have said she doesn't strike me as someone who would take 'defeat' lying down.

I think the best course is ignore, ignore, ignore & if she gets any more threats/emails/nasty texts to speak to someone 'legal'?
And have private 'Scrubs' head fantasies about 'friend' falling into vats of custard

Yup Lonnie like the idea of revenge being served with choccie biscuits!

I suspect if she has moved overseas then there's not much she can do to cause more trouble... Having said that, if your MIL is worried, just hv a good giggle about what her reaction might be if you did send it, then block her :-)

Tell your MIL to contact this woman, thanking her for bringing her to the attention of the benefits people as she has now discovered that she is entitled to further benefits. Say, she will think of her with happiness while enjoying her new found 'wealth'.

That will seriously piss off the other women.

I don't think there's anything more the woman can do. Since shopping MIL to Benefits Agency didn't work, anything else would be illegal I suppose.
Thanks ladies. The woman is anti-L'Oreal. She ain't worth it.

TBH, I would say that the "karma" has already happened here!

Lovely MIL did not get into trouble from the malicious actions of the ex-friend, in fact she got a nice surprise!

Tell her to keep the e-mail and texts etc. Incase this 'neighbour' does anything else. What a cow !

Yanbu.

Obviously the new marriage isn't going too well, if she is so busy scheming and plotting.

Your mil should ignore this woman. That will piss her off even more.

YABU to believe in karma.
YANBU to be angry on behalf of your MIL.