not to eat with DD?

[FigsAndWine]

I was thinking about this after reading the thread about eating different food to your children, as so many posters have family mealtimes all together, and I wonder how they manage this, and still get the children to bed at a decent time.

DD is 8, and goes up to bed by 7.30pm (she then reads for bloody ages a while). DP doesn't get home until 6.30, usually, and we eat around 7.30 - 8pm. So there's no way that I can see, that family mealtimes would work for us. Plus, DD is starving when she gets in from school, and wants to eat then. I therefore feed her between 4 and 5pm, usually. This holds even at the weekends, usually, unless we have an early BBQ or something.

So aibu in not trying to tailor our lifestyles more to fit in family mealtimes? How do you all do the timings of it?

We only eat with the DDs at the weekend, in the week DDs eat around 5ish and we eat at 9.

Works OK for us, you don't have to have meals together all the time.

I used to loathe eating every meal together when I was small, possibly because we were always getting rapped across the knuckles with mums fork for some manners breach or other.

We don't eat together, dds are 6, 3 and 5 months, they all eat together. They are in bed by 7pm (well upstairs ) Dh works shifts so he's either not in until 6.30pmish or out from 5pm, he also works weekends so thats out too. We eat on a Sunday with my parents and extended family, so thats our family mealtimes. To be honest I don't stress about it, it can't be done.

Do you eat lunch together at the weekends? Or breakfast? I think some meals together is nice but don't need to kill yourself about all of them!

YANBU. I think what you have sounds great.

I can count the number of weekday meals we all eat together each month on one hand. DH doesn't get in till gone 8pm most nights and that's on a good day. Far too late for the children to wait.

We do, however, make a point of all eating together at the weekends at least once (usually twice). I think it's lovely to all sit down together and chat.

Having said that, my children have never had much of a routine for meal times.

We have just started eating our evening meal together during the week. Mine are 8,6 and 3yrs and go up to bed at 7.30 My DH is generally home by 6.00 so we eat together at 6.15 ish (I offer fruit after school if children are ravenous) Before this recent development the children ate dinner at 5.30ish and DH and I once they were in bed.

However we have always eaten together at the weekends, generally making lunch our main meal and having cheese on toast or similar for 'tea'

It does feel early to eat, but I love the family feel, sitting around the table, chatting about the day and all eating the same food.

Family meal times with our 10 and 11 yo were just stressful. Ds non stop questions and chatter. Dd playing with her food, spilling drinks etc all to try and get negative attention. Dh nit picking at the childrens table manners, but otherwise eating silently and letting me deal with all of the kids nonsense. Yuck! Not relaxing and enjoyable at all.

We now only have dinner as a family once or twice a week. We also have breakfast together once or twice a week. It is working so much better for us.

It depends on what week we are on, when DH is on mornings or nights we eat as a family...... But when he is on afternoons he don't get in till 10:30pm and the kids are in bed.

On that week I usually have a light lunch with the kids then supper with DH

Thanks for the responses; I feel a bit more normal now.

DD has her breakfast sitting on the end of my bed every morning as I 'put my face on' as my DM always calls it, and drink my tea. If she's at home with me during the day we eat lunch together, and we sometimes have lunch all together at weekends, plus the occasional family meal or BBQ in the evenings.

Aquos I also would find family meals with DD to be a bit stressful, I think; she talks nonstop, usually utter rubbish , and DP and I like to eat in peace, tbh.

As much as I enjoy family meal times, I don't see how you can rearrange what you do at dinner without big disturbances and mealtimes aren't that important IMO. What about breakfast?

Maybe even try a weekend lunch or dinner? Once a week to start with maybe?