NCT D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

[deliakate]

AIBU in wondering which couple from our NCT group is going to be first to divorce? I am very worried its going to be me :( Not competitive or anything, but, gawd. Perhaps the flood gates will open and everyone will be at it when we've broken the ice....

My mum says there often is a ricochet effect amongst couples when one pair in a group splits. Although given she told me that when first and last in her group split I don't give it much weight!

I was first in mine, nobody else has yet or even expressed a desire to, and that was over a year and a half ago.

Oh my, I was just literally signing up for our antenatal..

Do NCT groups end in divorce then?!

WTF are you on about, OP?

Nooo. They do get a bit - who is first to walk, who is first to talk, who is first to have another.... so this seems a natural extension. To me anyway, in my disastrously married state.

All my lot are still together... I think. I was the rogue in mine - single parent .

deliakate - are you just struggling a bit with a new(ish) born or is it really difficult for you?

Although if you're on "first to have another" you're obviously not in the new born stage. Sorry...

Oh yes I'm always wondering who will be the first marriage to fail with my circle of friends
One of dh's friends we went to the wedding of has already separated

My lot are all still together. I like to think none of us will get divorced, but I suppose statistically it's not likely!

DH and I don't really get on, and when there is an added strain, we just crack. Its horrible for DS now he understands more too.

The new one is 9 weeks old, and I haven't slept for more than two hours in a row for.... oooh.... 9 weeks.

Not looking for sympathy tho, I'm just worried I'm too proud to divorce. Sad

Bloody hell... No wonder you're feeling the strain. Is it that he's just not pulling his weight or a bit more to it?

Could you start a thread in "Relationships"? If you do, you'll probably get a lot of very good, relevant comment advice from people who've been through this.

I can't imagine how you can be coping with two little ones with badly broken sleep and not getting on with your DH. Is there anyone who can help you to ensure you get some sleep?

Well, you've got sympathy whether you want it or not.

I'm not sure I really understand your concerns OP. Is it that you're worried that you are going to divorce from your dh or are you more worried about how others from your NCT group will perceive you if you do?

Personally, I wouldn't give a chuff what my NCT pals would think (not that I have any as I was never in the NCT - oo no, not my bag). I would however be giving a chuff if my relationship with my dp was going up the spout.

Sorry - hope I don't sound runde, I'm just trying to get my head around what I perceive to be a slightly unusually angled view towards a marital breakdown!

rude, not runde

OP, you are clearly going through a bad time and I hope things improve for you.

That said, the thread is about NCT groups! Ours are all still together, but at times I've wondered who will be the first to divorce. I have my money on 2 couples who seem the most shaky, but the rest seem fine. I am confident in my own marriage though obviously it can happen to anyone!

My group is delightfully non-competitive though, and we are pretty close, (well the "remains" are - the remaining 5, the other 4 dropped off) and I think we are all in it for the long haul, I suspect.

Things might improve for you once number 2 is older?

Your relationship is really nothing to do with the NCT group. You need to think about yourselves and your family and leave others to do the same. If your NCT friends are real friends can you babysit for each other sometimes so you can get some rest? Could you contact Relate to offload and see if they can help?

Is the argument that the NCT attracts the sort of people who are more likely to divorce? I could believe that :o

But as others have said, that is immaterial vs sorting what you need from your own relationship.