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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this hv was wrong?

45 replies

Moulesfrites · 01/08/2011 14:32

I went to a weaning talk this morning run by my hv team, to get some a dive about ds who is 27 weeks. I was shocked as a lot of the things she said were wrong according to my understanding of weaning, which has mostly been gleaned from mn! For example:

She said that waking more at night was a sign of readiness.
She said that a bouncy chair was appropriate for feeding a baby in.
One mum asked what to do if their baby wasn't showing the signs of readiness at 6 m and she said to start anyway.

Would ibu to stick to mn for my advice in future?

OP posts:

CogitoErgoSometimes · 01/08/2011 14:34

Few things are 'wrong' when it comes to weaning. 'Different perspective' might be more accurate. As a Health Visitor she's presumably advised many families and is speaking from experience. As with anything else, do what you feel is right rather than slavishly following others.... including 'official advice'.

Pootles2010 · 01/08/2011 14:35

Actually I'd say she was about right. Maybe the bouncy chair should have been clarified a bit, but other than that...

Pootles2010 · 01/08/2011 14:36

Oh and although mn is obviously great source of info, do remember that you have no idea who you're talking to, they could have no idea at all.

Your hv is a qualified nurse, so at least you have some reassurance of qualifications.

ShowOfHands · 01/08/2011 14:40

But waking at night isn't a sign of readiness. Babies wake at night for all sorts of reasons (developmental reasons, hot, cold, teething, ill, separation anxiety etc). A bouncy chair is not a good idea because it's reclined and presents a choking risk.

She isn't right at all.

I don't actually think following the guidelines is slavish because if you read them properly what they say is here's what to look for in your own baby, here's roughly when this will happen and here's what to do about it. It even says 'don't rush it and enjoy it'. How telling you what to look out for, telling you to look at your own baby and to not feel rushed or stressed about it is anything other than slavish, I have no idea.

ShowOfHands · 01/08/2011 14:42

My hv told me that if I bfed past 6 months I'd definitely end up anaemic and wouldn't be able to have sexual relations. Frankly, I'd rather listen to some quarters of MN who at least have the ability to link to facts as opposed to spouting strange opinions.

Original poster

Moulesfrites · 01/08/2011 14:42

Yeah, if waking at night was a sign of readiness I would have been weaning at 4 mo when the dreaded regression hit! This sleep regression seems to be quite common and it wasn't mentioned, and there were babies there who were around that age.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 01/08/2011 14:44

I think you can sometimes tell that they need more if they suddenly start waking at night after having slept though though surely? (NB I am guessing as DS decided middle of the night was great time to play until he was 18 months)

As for the bouncer it would depend on the seat, DS had one which could change position to sit up more and I did use that for the first few weeks.

As with anything like that, listen and take on board what is right for you!

Cleverything · 01/08/2011 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShowOfHands · 01/08/2011 14:54

Waking at night is nothing to do with readiness to wean, regardless of sleep patterns beforehand. Sleep patterns change all the time in the first year and for myriad reasons.

I think it's fine to say 'listen and take on board what is right for you' but for somebody who has no other support, no other basis for reference and perhaps even misinterprets what's being said, they're actually being advised by a professional to do the wrong thing. 99/100 early weaning might not make a difference but very occasionally it does and when you're in a position of responsibility, you make sure you give out good, solid, evidence-based advice when talking to a group of women.

I'd hate to think that a mother of a 12wk old with a baby who has suddenly started waking in the night was giving baby rice in a reclined bouncy chair and believing it hv endorsed. You have to be utterly clear about the advice you're giving. At that point it's up to the woman to do as she wishes with it.

controlpantsandgladrags · 01/08/2011 15:01

With both my DDs I knew they were ready because they fed more frequently in the day and started waking a couple of times a night again too. I knew it wasn't a growth spurt because I left it a few weeks from when the additional feeds started.

To my mind, when my babies went from 3 hourly feeds, down to 2 hourly, down to 1.5 hourly and needed feeds 2 or 3 times in the night when they had previously gone without any night feeds, they needed something extra.

I don't belive there is a set time when babies automatically need to be weaned, they are all different.

ShowOfHands · 01/08/2011 15:08

You're right controlpants, there is no set time when they need to be weaned. Each baby is different and when they are sitting up, tongue thrust reflex gone and they're able to pick up food, put it in their mouths, chew and swallow it, they're ready. If you're looking at your baby and aware of the actual signs, that's about as good as it gets. Unless anybody has a baby with a window into its gut that is.

I do wish they'd talk more about developmental spurts. And explain that feeding patterns can and do change and it's nowt to do with needing solids.

catgirl1976 · 01/08/2011 15:13

There is so much conflicting advice! I am planning to listen to my instincts first, then my mum on the grounds that she raised 3 of us with minimal trips to A&E and little to no lasting damage.

valiumredhead · 01/08/2011 15:17

Just do what you feel is right for you and your child. There is no right or wrong way - 10 years ago I weaned my 8 week prem ds when he was 16 weeks on the advice of the doctor and nurses and funnily enough his first mouthfuls were while he was in a bouncy chair - he is a strapping boy now.

I would hate to be a new mum these days!

ShowOfHands · 01/08/2011 15:18

My brother and I never went to A&E and appear to be normal, ordinary, useful people. But my mother finished weaning her children 30 years ago at the same time that she wasn't strapping her children into carseats, was putting us to sleep on our stomachs and giving us honey under a year.

If your mother is aware of how and why guidelines are changed then it's fine but my Mum would be the first to admit that the world's moved on and that she's pleased not to have bothered keeping up with it all.

rainbowtoenails · 01/08/2011 15:19

Have things really changed this much in 8 years?!!

We were told to wean anytime after 4 months and from 3 months if it was a particularly big baby and was waking at might if previously slept through. At that age they cant sit up themselves so you would have to feed them in a bouncy chair.

If i have another dc i can see me ignoring all this new advice and going on what worked before.

ShowOfHands · 01/08/2011 15:19

"There is no right or wrong way"

Actually, you're right. Give 'em a mushed up burger at 10 weeks. There's nowt wrong with it.

ShowOfHands · 01/08/2011 15:20

rainbowtoenails, the guidelines have been 6 months since 2003 so haven't changed a jot in 8yrs. Before this they were between 4 and 6 months for 20 years. Not a vast amount of change at all.

bananasplitz · 01/08/2011 15:20

ive fed mine in bouncy chair before, no probs at all

ShowOfHands · 01/08/2011 15:21

Yes banana, but I've also walked out into the traffic without looking and not died. Doesn't mean I'd recommend it.

The plural of anecdote is not data.

valiumredhead · 01/08/2011 15:21

show of hands The OP was talking about when to wean hence my response. Nothing about what to wean them on

TheHumanCatapult · 01/08/2011 15:24

ds3 started at 12 weeks on advice from Hv and Dr this was 14 years ago .Though ds was big and mean big 8oz every hr meant he needed more

worldgonecrazy · 01/08/2011 15:25

The HV was wrong and is not following current NHS guidelines so her training needs updating.

She was giving out dangerous advice - a bouncy chair is not suitable for feeding and could result in choking, especially for those mums who are giving pureed foods.

In her defence, even the NHS website contradicts itself with a 'traditional weaning' page which talks about offering purees at around 6 months, and the newer page no rush to mush which has a more BLW theme to it.

ShowOfHands · 01/08/2011 15:25

I'm talking about issuing general advice valiumreadhead and was responding merely to the statement 'there is no right or wrong way'. Well there is. The burger thing was an example but if you're talking about when to wean, change my example to weaning at 6 weeks. It's mostly shades of grey, yes, but I do think 'anything goes' is a bit of a leap of faith.

Original poster

Moulesfrites · 01/08/2011 15:26

We started at 24 weeks, ds was sitting and had mastered his head control by then. The idea of giving food to a baby who can't sit or hold their head ip seems anathema to me. But it's probably as weird as waiting til 6 months seems to my mums generation!

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 01/08/2011 15:26

Size is nothing to do with weaning readiness either.

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