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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think weaning your baby isn't a competition?

36 replies

fifitot · 29/07/2011 20:09

Went to baby clinic today and amazed at the chat between all the mums in the waiting room. All about weaning and how early to start? One proudly announced she did it at 13 weeks! Others joining in saying they'd been advised to wait but 'what the hell, he's on baby rice now' about their 3 month old.

Now I know there has been changes in guidelines over the years and some babies may benefit from early weaning but honestly, it was like a big, joyous competion to see how early they could get their babies on food. One had a 3 month old and was saying how she was going to ask 'if he can start on meat now as veg wasn't filling him up'. 3 months??? Meat?

I'm not precious about guidelines but like to stick to the general rules especially when there is good evidence why.

I know some will say 'their baby, their choice' but just think it's poor parenting.

OP posts:

marzipananimal · 29/07/2011 20:14

YANBU

It's understandable to be keen to start because new things are exciting, but I don't get why you would be proud of going against the guidelines

StrandedBear · 29/07/2011 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy · 29/07/2011 20:20

I agree Strandedbear and the fact you mentioned she was going to ask shows she isn't just doing things without using guidance.

Original poster

fifitot · 29/07/2011 20:25

Well she asked but on the way out said she was going to do it anyway!

As regard to following cues...........not many babies show feeding cues at 3 months. I mentioned that sometimes babies do need early weaning and you are normally given advice on this. All of these women were proudly announcing how they were ignoring advice. I mean all of them.

Why can't I say 'poor parenting'? Yes I was being judgemental because I was having an opinion about what I saw. Sticking babies onto solids early isn't exactly good parenting is it?

OP posts:

giyadas · 29/07/2011 20:27

Yep, no point trying to parent competitively. Maybe you should tell them straight about their poor parenting then they'd realise you've already won and stop wasting their time.

(just a joke - personally am very partial to the 'I won't compete so therefore I win' style of parenting )

Original poster

fifitot · 29/07/2011 20:33

I wasn't trying to win anything. I was genuinely shocked by the conversation and the fact that it was such a badge of honour to have weaned the baby early. There are reasons why early weaning is not good.

I couldn't compete in their contest even if I wanted to! My DS refused to eat very much at all until about 10 months. I suppose I might win the 'last to wean' competition but not by choice.

OP posts:

StrandedBear · 29/07/2011 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeWe · 29/07/2011 20:36

I must have missed out on it being a competition... never mind, I think I lost. Dd2 and ds didn't weam before about 8 months and dd1 only weaned at 5.5 months because the hv nearly had a fit (advice was dot on 4 months then) and I reckon it was too early for her looking back but didn't have the conficence to say.
I like weaning straight to finger food, it cuts out a good deal of the hassle.

Original poster

fifitot · 29/07/2011 20:39

No I didn't mean people who do it for a good reason. Though do know my GP told me to wean DS at 4 months to 'help him sleep.' Not sure that was the best advice.

Probably shouldn't have used 'poor parenting' but don't think it's good practice.

OP posts:

Rosemallow · 29/07/2011 20:42

Must all be PFBs.

Everyone's keen to get baby #1 doing everything really quickly.

I am far too lazy to compete.

Why would I want to pump off milk to make bloody baby rice at 3 months old and then have to clear up the mess etc when I can just shove him on my boob? Clearing up after a toddler is enough, without adding to it!
I even get to lie down! :)
'tis the same with walking etc. I've realised life is good when they learn to sit up but can't move so I'm hoping DS is a late mover!

RitaMorgan · 29/07/2011 20:45

People do get a bit competitive about it, it's weird.

Actually I think it is pretty poor parenting to take risks with your child's health, against medical advice, just so you can boast about how your 3 month old was so big and hungry

Original poster

fifitot · 29/07/2011 20:46

Actually think they were all first babies. Might explain it.

OP posts:

SharperSeven · 29/07/2011 20:49

Ah, the whole thing is a competition. You may think you have finished when they get to Uni, but no....

WottingerAndWottingerAreDead · 29/07/2011 20:51

You are being totally unreasonable. I weaned at 3 weeks, they had a roast dinner, they are FINE, better than your baby infact... eugh who wants home made carrot puree at 6 months??

Seriously, I found after weaning the competitive mothering quietened down a tad, until potty training time when goodness me was it back with a vengeance!

SharperSeven · 29/07/2011 20:57

You are so right, Wottinger! Remember one rather upherself mum arriving at playgroup and announcing "DS is FULLY potty trained!". Cue much gasping and turning to look at DS, who was playing with some bricks whilst peeing all over the floor:)

Original poster

fifitot · 29/07/2011 20:58

Oh yes......potty training. I have a 5 year gap between my dc. I think I must have forgotten this whole competitive thing. Today was obviously just a reminder!

OP posts:

MightyQuim · 29/07/2011 21:02

YANBU.
It is bad practice to wean against advice just to be first but some mums get competative over the weirdest of things. I have actually met competitive teething mums! And a mum who earnestly told me her 9mo was potty trained day and night.

SharperSeven · 29/07/2011 21:17

Weaning, walking, talking, potty training, bike riding, swimming, reading, speaking French, gym, ballet, sats, 11+, best school, form prizes, scholarships, music exams, GCSEs, A levels, Oxbridge, degrees, training contracts.....ah yes, it's just beginning.

PirateDinosaur · 29/07/2011 21:21

I am aiming to get points for weaning style and artistic impression...

TheBlackPanther · 29/07/2011 22:05

I loved nothing more than to be cuddling up with my baby girl with her bottle of milk, day or night!
I miss that now she is 1 and my DS nearly 5
I don't plan to have anymore children and i would give anything to re live the tiny baby stage again.
I cant understand anyone who would want to rush the best bit

chirpchirp · 29/07/2011 22:43

Sounds a bit like one of my neighbours whose DD is about a month younger than my DS. She started (force) feeding her baby rice at about 16 weeks as "it'll help her sleep through the night" and was constantly asking me if I'd started weaning yet as my DS must be "starving" .

Deflatedballoonbelly · 29/07/2011 22:47

Eurgh. Filling a baby with no calorific content wallpaper paste and a smug face at such a young age for one up manship. Dick heads. I want to tell them to shove their Prima Baby up their jacksie's.

reallytired · 29/07/2011 22:56

Don't bother with baby clinic and if you do go to baby clinic then don't listen to baby conservations.

Baby clinic is scary and best avoided.

Rosemallow · 29/07/2011 23:01

Totally agree with theblackpanther - I'd like DS to be a baby forever grow up at his own pace
I love it that he wants cuddling all the time and can't say 'no' yet!
As for competitive potty training - it's so true. DD is 2.4 and not potty trained much to the of some of my friends. Luckily, I have another friend whose DS is a month older and we share the same laziness sort of views, so he isn't either!

IsItMeOr · 29/07/2011 23:13

@Rosemallow - haha, I was just thinking that this all sounded a bit like potty training. DS is also 2.4 and I was beginning to think I must be missing something based on the tales I've been hearing from the mum's in my NCT group .

I have now found a book which supports my laid-back approach, so that's fine then.

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