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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be worried about DSS?

17 replies

LauLauLemon · 27/07/2011 22:17

DSS is 2.6 and doesn't talk. He can say a few simple words like "hi", "wee wee" and "bye" but can't pronounce any other words properly if at all and he has around five or six words. He can't talk in sentences or even string a few words together and mainly stands looking at you while pointing and making noises.

I'm being told by all of DH's family that I am such a bitch for even suggesting being worried, boys are slower than girls, there's absolutely nothing wrong with him because MIL is a teaching assistant and knows all about this and I should just shut my mouth and stop giving opinions because I'm uneducated and not a doctor. I'm not giving opinions such as "OMFG DSS IS BACKWARD" just that at 2.6 it may be a cause for concern. He's around adults and children every day all of whom talk to him directly and try to engage with him and he seems like he wants to talk and tries but it's not working for him.

Since DH's ex won't do anything and DH's family are all completely opposed to the idea DH asked me to post here and ask for your opinion and essentially wwyd. I think he doesn't want to rock the boat or admit there could be a problem but at the same time it's becoming a concern.

AIBU to worry?
Thanks.

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 27/07/2011 22:18

Its not all that unusual for a child to not really be talking much at that age.

Original poster

LauLauLemon · 27/07/2011 22:26

I forgot to add that in other respects he seems perfect. He can understand what you say to him, points at things, plays, walks etc and generally seems like a happy, healthy and robust little boy it's just he can't seem to form words. He has vowel sounds but no consonants at all.

OP posts:

StrandedBear · 27/07/2011 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worraliberty · 27/07/2011 22:34

Some kids don't really start talking much til they're 3yrs

The Nursery attached to my local Infant school reports every September that the amount of non speaking/coherant children rises to more than the year before.

thisisyesterday · 27/07/2011 22:36

i would be worried, yes.

ds2 was similar at that age, and it turned out he had hearing loss due to glue ear.
this can easily be treated with grommets, althoughh we decided to take a wait and see approach with him and his has slowly cleared by itself and now at 3.5yrs he is talking really well, although we are still waiting for speech therapy sessions.

ChaoticAngelofGryffindor · 27/07/2011 22:40

My DS only said the odd word at that age and tended to point at what he wanted. He was diagnosed with severe speech problems. It may be something or nothing but there's no harm in getting it checked out. If nothing else you'll be reassured that he's fine.

breadcrumbs · 27/07/2011 22:41

Has he had his hearing check (at 2 1/2 iirc?)? If cleared on that, then please dont worry. My DS didnt talk til he was 3 1/2, wasnt at all unhappy about it, just used grunts and pointing to make us understand. Now (aged 9) we cant shut him up!

duckdodgers · 27/07/2011 22:45

My DS whos 3 (will be 4 in December) was very very slow - referall to Speech Therapy suggested no problems, over the last few months has came on in leaps and bounds and is saying much more. I would be more concerned if his language comprehension was a problem.

My DS had a hearing test which tested for comprehension to as well as hearing, he refused to give audiologist the items she was asking for, refused to turn his head to the sounds. Yet we knew he understood everything and could hear - audiologist was quite funny, she said something similar and called him stubborn.

biddysmama · 27/07/2011 22:47

at the 2year development check you are asked if you have any concerns, i would be slightly concerned and keep an eye on it (im also a teaching assistant btw) my dd is 28 months and has proper conversations, does the mum have friends with children the same age? maybe she doesnt have experience of children at that age?

Original poster

LauLauLemon · 27/07/2011 22:48

We don't know anything about his two year review. DH was supposed to be going with his ex because he wanted to be present and ex said she was ill so it had to be re-scheduled. Six months on we haven't heard from her and every time DH asks she says it still hasn't happened but we heard from ex's mother that ex took her new fiance to the review and there was no re-schedule. DH is trying his best but seems to his ex like a babysitter who has him every weekend but not as an actual parent. I try not to get involved but DH is very aware of this issue. Luckily they talk only via text as situation is hostile so DSS knows very little, if anything, of the issue.

Bit of a rant there, sorry.

Underlying message: we have no idea about his hearing. DH says he will phone and speak to her properly tomorrow about this even if she doesn't want to hear it as after reading the information in the link is convinced that DSS needs to be checked.

OP posts:

Original poster

LauLauLemon · 27/07/2011 22:50

Ex has many friends with children of the same age and older plus a very hands on mother who raised four children and her three elder grandchildren. Ex's fiance also has a 4 year old son.

OP posts:

OrdinaryJo · 27/07/2011 22:51

Even if it clears up by itself you will wait so long for referrals, assessments etc that I would force the issue now and get it checked out. Voice of experience and that was before SALT got cut to the bone in our area...

mummytime · 27/07/2011 22:58

2 year review for me was done in my home. Does your DH have parental responsibility? If so he should be able to speak to the GP and get the hearing checked properly (not just saying boo behind him). Lots of children have some hearing loose and this affects speech (nothing to be ashamed of).

thisisyesterday · 27/07/2011 22:59

assuming he has parental responsibility he could surely request a hearing test referral etc himself?

snippywoo2 · 27/07/2011 23:36

my eldest sister didn't speak until my mum had my brother, she was 3 at the time then chatted away like I don't know what. My nephew communicated through hand gestures until his brother was born when he was 2 1/2 and was the same . On the other hand my daughter was saying words at 12 months then stopped, her twin brother then took over and by the age of 2 was chatting away like an adult and also understood her garbled speech and translated what she was saying to us which was amazing . Turned out she had glue ear and went deaf so speech stopped, shes now 15 and wears a hearing aids due to other complications. Your OH could have a word with the H/V and ask for a hearing test if he's worried but it could just be he's being lazy and has no reason for speech as adults are running round getting what he wants when he wants.

GandTiceandaslice · 27/07/2011 23:41

My ds2 is 2.3. He says the odd word. No sentences. I have wondered if he's delayed. We don't get the 2 and a half year HV check anymore, that I had with the older 2.
I am going to leave things a few more months & see how he comes along.
He understands what I say. Especially the word sweeties.

In your case, your dh has every right as his parent to be concerned & to involve a HV, even if just to put his mind at rest.

Signet2012 · 27/07/2011 23:59

my nephew was not really talking and he turned 3 in October, his talking still wasnt really good then all of a sudden it was like he had being talking for years! I have a niece six months older who talked really early and hasnt shut up since, so I was a bit concerned about nephew as thought he seemed behind. If your concerned then get hin checked out, it cant hurt.

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