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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to avoid my mate so I don't catch mumps?

14 replies

bloodymumps · 21/07/2011 21:39

I have not had mumps. Neither has my friend.

Her DS has just had mumps, is no longer infectious as of yesterday but as I pointed out to her, the incubation period means she might be brewing it herself as she is in theory at risk.

I have not commented on the fact that she has been going to work as usual (in a healthcare setting) but I have put off meeting her until the incubation period is over, and she is seeing her arse about it.

Tell me honestly, am I being overcautious? I don't NEED to meet her, it would be nice but I'm not missing anything massive by not seeing her.

OP posts:
Original poster
bloodymumps · 21/07/2011 21:47

She thinks I am being ridiculous, by the way.

OP posts:
iscream · 21/07/2011 21:48

I don't know, isn't mumps covered in our "shots"?

Groovee · 21/07/2011 21:54

I would avoid people too. My dad avoids me when I'm ill as he has no immune system

bumbleymummy · 21/07/2011 21:55

How do you know you haven't had mumps? Have you had your immunity tested recently? In over 1/3 of cases it's completely asymptomatic.

Original poster
bloodymumps · 21/07/2011 21:55

I was born before the mumps vaccination and so was she... So neither of us has been vaccinated.

OP posts:
Original poster
bloodymumps · 21/07/2011 21:56

Bumble, I don't know, but as far as I know I haven't, so my point is what is the harm of simply avoiding her until its safe?

OP posts:
iscream · 21/07/2011 21:57

PS. Yanb "ridiculous". No harm will come of you avoiding being around your friend for a week or however. She probably feels criticized and is defensive.
Too bad, so sad. Do what you feel is best, not what she or any other non doctor tells you.

Hulababy · 21/07/2011 21:58

Why would you even consider commenting on the fact that she is still working? I can't imagine any employer, even in healthcare, permitting her time off on the off chance she might catch mumps.

Up to you whether you meet her or not. Not unreasonable to avoid her til the incubation period is over if you want to.

Original poster
bloodymumps · 21/07/2011 22:01

I think perhaps she is being defensive because I asked her if her DS had had MMR and she said he had, but possibly she took that to mean I was being critical...I wasn't, I was only asking as was surprised. She isn't the type not to vaccinate IYSWIM.

OP posts:
Original poster
bloodymumps · 21/07/2011 22:07

Well I don't know, I wouldn't go out to work in a hospital with possible mumps- I think its reckless. However, I didn't convey this to her and just said I would wait until the incubation period was over before I meet her. I haven't even asked her if she is still going to work, I only know because of comments she has made about her shifts etc.

She said the GP told her it was 7 days, however everything I have seen (including NHS.uk ) points to it being 16-25 days, I wonder if she is confusing the infectious period once symptoms appear with the incubation period?

OP posts:
Hulababy · 22/07/2011 15:01

"Well I don't know, I wouldn't go out to work in a hospital with possible mumps- I think its reckless."

Would your employer accept this as being a justified reason for absence? Most would not I suspect. So would you then take it as a holiday? Or unpaid leave? It can't be sick leave as you wouldn't be sick.

I know that there is no way I would get paid, accepted leave of absence in such a situation. I don't know many, if any at all, who would. On this count you are, imom being unreasonable.

Hulababy · 22/07/2011 15:03

If incubation period is 20+ days then you;d have to take off 3 weeks leave of absence. Surely you realise that this just would not be possible in ANY job!?

LaWeasel · 22/07/2011 15:06

Can you (and also she) not get the MMR/single shot jab as an adult (I don't know how it works). My Dsis got Mumps at 20ish having forgotten to get the teenage booster, and they were happy to give me my booster jab when I'd been in contact with her...

I think it's pretty reckless too though, mumps can be very serious for boys as well as anyone with immune system problems - I hope her DS is okay.

mercibucket · 22/07/2011 15:10

first off, the work thing - you just can't go taking weeks off at a time on the offchance you might come down with something - come on!!
as for meeting up, it might have been more diplomatic to just stall for a few weeks without giving the real reason. it's a bit daft tbh so it just makes you look fussy and over cautious. if you meant meeting up with someone who actually had mumps, then no, not overcautious
if you're that bothered about getting mumps, see if you can have the vaccine

did her ds just have one shot (ie is he too young for the booster)? it's notorious for needing the booster - think it only gives immunity to around 60% of people the first time round

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