Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

I utterly dislike my BIL

20 replies

Roomfor1more · 18/07/2011 18:00

RANT ALERT,

My BIL is the most obnoxious individual I have the displeasure of knowing. I seriously think the guy has some form of a behavioural problem. He HAS to be centre of attention. He's the loudest in the room, he constantly repeats a story he thinks is hilarious and belly laughs at it each time. His dw is due their first baby soon and already he is an expert on all things 'baby'. I heard from dh last night that they attended an antenatal class and he make a skit out of the teaching midwife. I told dh that BIL is a fool and I was in turn told that ''I was being a dry ass''. He thinks by making a holy show of someone that this is funny.

I think what bugs me is my two precious lovely babies share the same DNA as this ameoba. Plus the fact his family laugh at his antics just concretes to him that he can carry on like this.

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 18/07/2011 18:01

Is he the younger brother by any chance?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/07/2011 18:06

It sounds like a personality clash to me, OP. Those are very trivial reasons for disliking him. You just don't like him and that's how you feel. I think you're unreasonable for picking on the 'skit', as long as he treats the midwife with respect, what does it matter if he takes the mickey behind her back? Blimey, the muppets on 'mock the week' make a career out of it.

Please think about your pregnant sister in all this... your obvious dislike of your BIL is not nice for her to witness. It sounds as if the rest of the family like your BIL or tolerate him better than you do. You can still be polite and civil, for your sister's sake if nobody ese's.

Your comment on the DNA isn't nice. Would you mind if he said the same thing about you?

Original poster

Roomfor1more · 18/07/2011 18:08

Yes! He's the fourth out of six boys!!!! No sisters just a very strong willed mother. I call her Ma Baker! Dh is the eldest and the quietest. I just think BIL and I will never be besties. I'm a pretty quiet person who can't be doing with loud people at the best of times. He actually makes me cringe when I see him. Himself and his dw are well matched. They're both high maintainance!!

OP posts:

Original poster

Roomfor1more · 18/07/2011 18:09

Wow wow she ain't my SISTER!!!! BIL is my dh's brother!!!

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 18/07/2011 18:18

My SIL is similar.

We'll be having a nice visit to PILs, SIL comes round and everybody in the room is eclipsed by her, it's all about her and nobody else gets a word in from thereon in.

I don't think she's very good a reading situations (where it might perhaps be appropriate to sit down and STFU for two mins while someone else has a conversation instead of just listening to her) and she's definately been indulged/excused by the family because of her (chosen) circumstances and being the youngest.

Does my head right in, but I don't bother letting on that I can't be doing with her any more, I'm just polite and keep my distance.

You've got to box up your rage at the twat and chuck it somewhere dark or you'll do yourself an injury you've got to live with the family and it's not worth a fall out over something you can't change.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 18/07/2011 18:20

Ok... swap sister for SIL then.

DeWe · 18/07/2011 18:25

My bil is a self-appointed expert in whatever he is currently talking about. Like when he was adamant that the baby would arrive with a painless labour (because they'd done antinatal classes) and exactly on the due date (because they knew their dates)
Baby about 2 weeks late with 4 day labour Well done baby.
Other than the number of brothers yours sounds familiar. I roll my eyes and keep quiet.

Original poster

Roomfor1more · 18/07/2011 18:27

I'm thinking of buying a baseball bat and a punch bag and taking my rage out on that!!!!

LOL The normal person in my brain tells me I can't change him but god its gets so frustrating being in a social setting with them all and he's there braying likea donkey at his own jokes. Yes AgentZigzag I do wish he'd STFU for a few minutes!!lol My own sister tells me he must lask some social etiquette or he was the ignored child out of the six and even now he's veying for attention??? Who knows, though I do know he needs a good slap at times!

OP posts:

PaintedToenails · 18/07/2011 18:35

No of course you are not being unreasonable. He sounds like a proper cock and you are more within your moral and social rights to dislike the tosser man. Just because he is related to your husband, don't mean you have to like him! Merely tolerate him if you can, ignore him if you can't!

Tidey · 18/07/2011 18:35

He sounds a bit of an arse but it's best to try and keep the peace. It's not worth falling out with the whole family over it, just try to spend the minimum possible time around him.
That's what I try to do anyway - My BIL firmly believes that he is more intelligent than everyone else in any given room and makes snide comments about everyone present, believing that everyone is so dull witted that they won't notice. We all notice. Arse.

AgentZigzag · 18/07/2011 18:39

'he was the ignored child out of the six and even now he's veying for attention???'

I always thought it was the opposite, that everyone hung on their every word/behaviour and they never grew up in peoples minds, so carry on with the 'LOOK! look at me' before they do a dance they've learnt in front of the whole family to be applauded and told how clever they are.

Really lovely in a smaller child, but not so endering in a mid 30s adult

Salmotrutta · 18/07/2011 19:21

Look, every family has a loud histrionic member who is hard to take in large doses.
But - is he unkind? malicious? spiteful? dishonest? If the answer to all of those is NO then I really thnk you need to lighten up just a wee bit.
Believe me, having a family member who actually has an unpleasant character trait is a whole lot more difficult than putting up with someone who is loud and braying. Don't you think?

foreverondiet · 18/07/2011 19:42

OMG I feel the same. Luckily its DH's sister's husband so their children aren't genetically related to me in any way. I couldn't even begin to explain on her how much of a twat he is.

I always thought he was an idiot, now 5 years later he is so much worse than he was and even DH, MIL and FIL now agree with me.

foreverondiet · 18/07/2011 19:44

And yes salmotrutta he is unkind, selfish and malicious and at times spiteful.

Salmotrutta · 18/07/2011 20:19

Well there you go forever - that's a bit more worrying than someone being loud and braying isn't it? Your situation seems to be different.
That's why I was asking the OP that very thing!
Seems to me she just doesn't like her BIL because he's loud etc. but that's not the worst crime in the world surely?

blushingm · 18/07/2011 20:43

bil is like that - he is the biggest knob on earth

everything is about how great he is - ie great father, lover, husband, cook, athlete, salesman, uncle, son, human being

LadyGrace · 18/07/2011 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Roomfor1more · 18/07/2011 21:18

Salmotrutta, BIL is cutting and can be very hurtful with his views and ideas. He is pass remarkable about the fact that one of my kids has a speech delay while the baby hasn't started walking yet and he never shuts up about it :( All his mates kids are brilliant at whatever they do and god help us when his kid is born!! No doubt it will be a fabulous birth of a fabulous baby who will do everything on que.

He laughed at my dd's name, a pretty regular name but not what the Family saw as a name. That all said even if they call this baby a horrendous name it'll be embraced regardless......

OP posts:

Salmotrutta · 18/07/2011 22:05

Well - armed with this further info that he is indeed quite hurtful and scathing then you are not unreasonable to really dislike him - he sounds like a horrible person if he passes remarks

I really did just mean that a "loud" person can be tolerated if that's their only fault - I have quite a few "loud" and opinionated friends but they are never mean or scathing and I wouldn't tolerate that either.

P.S. My folks used to say "pass remarkable" - I love hearing that phrase.

If he comments on your DCs talking and walking he is a stupid fool - anyone with any sense knows that babies and toddlers develop at very different rates. My DD didn't walk until 15 months but talked early whereas DS was the opposite. Now I want to slap his arse with a baseball bat

Salmotrutta · 18/07/2011 22:07

Slap your BIL that is - not my DS!!

Flip