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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think DH hasn't really thought this through?

17 replies

kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/07/2011 09:42

Me and DD are moving to England soon. We had planned to go at the end of the month and move into our house once the tenants had moved out.
The tenants went early which is fine.
DH has just emailed me (from Thailand) to suggest that we all go over next week and I try to find a job. That's fine. What he hasn't considered is that he'll be coming back to Belgium. so, if I do manage to get a job (unlikely initially), DD will spend all day on her own.
She is 10. Is he bonkers?

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 15/07/2011 09:43

He just hadn't thought it through I guess!

dexter73 · 15/07/2011 09:45

Can you not find childcare for when you get a job? Near us there are lots of summer schools, eg. at the leisure centre, that you can book for just a day or for the whole holidays.

Original poster

kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/07/2011 09:47

No idea about child care. I haven't lived in the UK with a child. Ever.

OP posts:

FoofusScrimgeour · 15/07/2011 09:49

It appears that he really hasn't thought it through. Might be best just to stick to your original plans.

FakePlasticTrees · 15/07/2011 09:51

If you go on what will be your local council website, you should be able to get details of all registered childminders in the area. I live in Kent and the Kent Council website has a facility where you can put in the postcode and get all the childminders within a 1 mile radius of your house with spaces.

They should also have lists of any council run holiday clubs that still have places.

Original poster

kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/07/2011 09:58

Fantastic. I'll get on to it. He really is a divvy sometimes. DD is pretty good, she stayed alone for 15 minutes before school all last year, but all day? I don't think it would even be legal.

OP posts:

FuzzpigFourFiveSix · 15/07/2011 10:01

Ooh are you moving to West Sussex?

Original poster

kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/07/2011 10:03

No, north west. [excited a bit]

OP posts:

Original poster

kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/07/2011 10:04

Can I ask another question. Do child minders work weekends? I can't be guaranteed a job that is Monday to Friday.

OP posts:

PlanetEarth · 15/07/2011 10:09

Not illegal (plenty of threads on this) but no, he hasn't thought it through. But he's not totally bonkers, plenty of women with 10 year olds work. You just need to look into your childcare options first and see what will work financially and logistically.

exexpat · 15/07/2011 10:18

You might be able to find childcare if you tried really hard, but do you really need (financially) to start work as soon as possible?

Moving to a new country (which is what it will be for your DD) is tough enough for children (I have done it) without immediately being plonked in a holiday club in an unfamiliar place with no one they know. Wouldn't it be better for you and DD to spend the rest of the school holidays exploring the new area, getting the house sorted and generally settling in before you are out all day at work?

FWIW, I think you would definitely need childcare: 10 is too young to leave her for whole days - specially in an unfamiliar place when she has no friends or other adults she knows to call on.

But look on the bright side - in the current economic climate, unless you are in a very in-demand profession, the chances of finding work immediately are pretty slim.....

Original poster

kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/07/2011 10:20

Yeah, that's what I thought too exexpat. We really do need the money, DH will be paying rent on this house and mortgage on our house in England. I don't think I will be eligible for benefits either.

OP posts:

exexpat · 15/07/2011 10:27

If you are originally British, you'll be able to claim child benefit as soon as you get here, even if your DD was born overseas. Not a huge amount for one child though.

Do you know what the going rate for child minders/holiday clubs is in your new area? If you know what school she's going to be at from September you could ask them about a holiday club - if she'll still be at primary, that is. Childcare options run out once they get to secondary, so until you have a network of friends she can hang out with, it's difficult.

exexpat · 15/07/2011 10:28

If your DH won't be living with you for a while, do you have a spare room? You could try getting a lodger for some extra cash. Or if you are near any language schools or universities there's a lot of demand for rooms for foreign students over the summer.

SparkyUK · 15/07/2011 10:39

I think I'm a bit confused about the timings here, but getting a job isin't an instant thing. You have to apply, wait for interviews, and then wait to hear back and then, if offered a position, you can then say, great, I'll be able to start in X weeks (tho, they'll probably ask you about this at interview so consider it before hand). You could even say that you'll be ready to start at the end of school holidays. But if you wait until school holidays end to start looking, it could be a few months before you are actually working.

OpheliaBumps · 15/07/2011 10:47

No, he really hasn't thought it through! Having said that, it's worth having a look at what jobs are available for your skill set.

Whereabouts are you moving to? I'm in Chester, so if you're anywhere near me I'm happy to suggest good places for days out/restaurants/good shopping etc (although my twins are only 2, so not sure their idea of fun will match your DDs!)

lookbutdonttouch · 15/07/2011 11:13

Yes the schools tend to know all about the after school and holiday clubs and where I am in the NW they haven't broken up yet so call them quick!

These are non council ones.

My DD is ten and she goes sometimes in the hols and loves it and its a great way of making new friends. She does a drama week too and there are various council run sports and music weeks, all of which might help with making new friends.

Yes whereabouts ish are you moving to and we might be able to help?

What kind of work are you looking for?

But to answer your original question, he just hasn't thought it through.....

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