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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About BIL/SIL's plan breaking?

19 replies

Fuzzled · 14/07/2011 16:14

We live about 400 miles away from DH's family and see them only a few times a year due to respective work commitments.
BIL&SIL got in touch to say they were thinking about going to Center Parcs and would we (including 10mo DS) like to join them.
After some umming and ahhing, we decided to go, and DH booked the time off work.
We then went to look at specific cabin availability and prices.
They were originally talking about a detached cabin for themselves (2 bedroom) for the weekend at a cost of about £500 (their pricing) - a 3 bed cabin for a Monday to Friday (which we suggested and they accepted given our travelling distance) would cost them about the same - we would pay a bit more as the 3rd bedroom would be for DS (essential as he wakes if he is in with us) and we thought that was fair.
Now they have just been on the phone saying that (despite it being cheaper for them) it is too expensive for them.
Why do I get the feeling that we were only invited to pay half their bill rather than for them to see us and DS?

OP posts:
ContraryMartha · 14/07/2011 16:16

But surely you would share the cost of accommodation?

Did you think you should contribute nothing at all?

Hassled · 14/07/2011 16:17

Maybe they've had some unexpected bill/realised a budgeting cock-up?
Center Parcs always seems so expensive to me anyway.

Original poster
Fuzzled · 14/07/2011 16:20

Sorry, must have explained it badly Sad
They were originally planning to go on their own and pay £500 (approx). They then invited us, and agreed to a longer stay in a bigger cabin at a total cost of £1000 (approx), we said we'd pay more (£600-£650 approx) as the 3rd room would be for DS.
They'd therefore get a longer holiday at cheaper price than their original plans.
But I think they were hoping that we'd just stump up the cash or travel 500 miles for a two night stay Sad

OP posts:
InTheNightKitchen · 14/07/2011 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ContraryMartha · 14/07/2011 16:23

Ah. Ok.
But maybe they had only budgeted £250 for accommodation?

Original poster
Fuzzled · 14/07/2011 16:25

And no Hassled, nothing was mentioned about unexpected bills - and they knew the costs as they told us.
I think they were expecting us to foot the bill. We have done this before due to other circumstances (engagement present/ additional wedding gift etc) and I got the feeling that it would have been put on our credit card and not mentioned again if I hadn't specifically asked about methods of paying or them transferring the money to us.

OP posts:
izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 14/07/2011 16:27

Why didn't you check prices, availability, agree costs and generally confirm the plan with them before your dh booked time off work?

If you're having 2 bedrooms of a 3 bed cabin presumably you'll be paying two thirds of £500 which would leave them with c£170 to pay whereas, from what you've said, if they'd gone alone they'd be paying considerably more.

Original poster
Fuzzled · 14/07/2011 16:32

Had to book time off work quickly as DH has to give notice of a certain length, and this trip was planned to be just outside that, so if he'd waited he might not have had the time off agreed. (Odd days off are fine, but longer hols have to be scheduled).
Making plans ourselves now (local trips and days out) but just so depressed that they seem to see us as a cash dispenser. Sad

OP posts:
izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 14/07/2011 16:33

From the sums you're now talking about, if your dh can't change his leave, I suggest that you book a stay in a child-friendly hotel somewhere on the coast or book a late deal abroad.

WhoAteMySnickers · 14/07/2011 16:34

Maybe it's the extra days that are too expensive. Although the accommodation will be the same or slightly cheaper they still have to stump up for food/drinks/spending money if they are staying longer than they originally planned.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 14/07/2011 16:35

You've got the measure of them - it is depressing but don't let it spoil your holiday time.

Topcat11 · 14/07/2011 16:37

I think what the OP is getting at is that she doesn't think they ever had any intention of going on their own and paying £500 for a 2 bed - they hoped the OP would go halves so they would only pay £250. If they all go and get the 3 bed, the OP would pay £600 - £650 leaving the in laws with a bill of £350 - £400.
It does sound like that is the case, especially if you have paid for things before - sad, but don't let it ruin your leave if your DH can't change it!

WhoAteMySnickers · 14/07/2011 16:41

I think you're looking for fault on their part where there is genuinely none.

They originally wanted to book for two nights, now you want them to book for five. When they say it's too expensive, surely they mean the extra spending money that will be required for an extra three nights than they had originally planned.

Original poster
Fuzzled · 14/07/2011 16:47

Self catering and odds are that we'd pay for the food as I'm quite picky.
Maybe there is no fault, but is just another "thing" to a long list of things that they seem to do (never paying for a meal out or even offering to pay their share), coming to visit for a fortnight at a time and drinking us dry (and not just a couple of beers, I'm talking 6-7 bottles of spirits!).
I know we are lucky in that we have decent jobs, nice house etc, but we worked hard to get this stuff. Neither of us have ever been out of a job, and certainly didn't leave a job because "she'd have to walk 10 mins from the bus route when it changed" Angry

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 14/07/2011 17:41

They sound like sponging bastards.

Sarsaparilllla · 14/07/2011 17:49

I don't see that they've done anything wrong tbh Confused

Are you sure they were originally going alone and it wasn't always the plan to ask you to share? Because it won't be cheaper for them, originally it would be £500 split between you, so £250 each, now you want them to pay £350 even if you are paying more, they're paying more too

skybluepearl · 14/07/2011 17:55

maybe 250 was their budget

Original poster
Fuzzled · 14/07/2011 18:39

Nope. Just to clarify, they had said they were definitely going at a cost of £500, and all subsequent discussions were based on them not paying any more. Us going too would have given them longer for cheaper.
It was only when we got into the specifics of how they would actually pay that it was cancelled - and we did say we would put it on a credit card and they could pay when bill came in or immediately or they could pay and we'd give them the cash.
It just seems that it was all off when we didn't offer to pay it all Sad

OP posts:
shavmcv · 14/07/2011 18:56

I'm sorry but it does sound like they never had any intention of paying a penny .Angry
If I were you I would book short break with your own wee family - you will probably have a better time anyway !! Grin

And make sure you get their half of the money upfront anytime you are splitting any costs as you said present etc then if they don't come up with the money you do the thing yourself and they are left with nothing . I have came across this before I have quite a generous nature which people can't think they can take advantage of - you just have to be wise to it !! Smile

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