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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be depressed about my size?

30 replies

Moulesfrites · 07/07/2011 09:04

My post baby body is really getting me down and I know I really have to do something about it - was wondering if any of you mnetters could help?

My ds is 23 weeks old and ebf. I am a size 16 having been a 14 before I was pg, and seem to be carrying loads of extra weight particularly around my upper arms and upper back. Bfing made me absolutely ravenous for the first few months and I only just feel that my appetite is settling down (by which I mean I don't crave chocolate 24/7 anymore!). However, I have just got back from 2 weeks in France where I had a few glasses of wine every night, something I never do at home, and yesterday I noticed my bra was givng me the 4 boob efect, so I seem to be putting on more weight rather than losing it. (I have no idea what I actually weigh - we don't even own any scales )

How do you recommend I address this? I have heard loads about the 30 day shred - is it worth a go - I am finding it pretty impossible to go to the gym with my 5mo as I feed him to sleep every night and he still wakes quite frequently and unpredictably. What about ww? Some people have told me it is impossible to lose weight while bf and I won't be able to do it until I stop, but having got this far I have decided I want to continue for at least up until a year. But the thought of being this size until then depresses me!
Any advice?

OP posts:

Lorenz · 07/07/2011 09:07

Was going to recommend Atkins/Dukan but then realised you're breast-feeding so maybe not the best idea!

Have you tried just making small changes to your eating habits? I don't think any "diet" actually works long-term.

magicmelons · 07/07/2011 09:09

I found a gym with a creche and it transformed my life, Mental health improved, i had some me time annd the weight dropped off. Kids still love the creche now. Some LA gyms have creches i use Virgin and it's worth every penny, can take them swimming to so gives some focus to the day.

magicmelons · 07/07/2011 09:10

Oh and i hated the gym before this and never imagined i'd love it so much.

BelleEnd · 07/07/2011 09:11

Join a thread on here. The support is amazing. :)

Join MyFitnessPal.com. It counts your calories for you and has really helped me.

Good luck! :)

sausagesandmarmelade · 07/07/2011 09:12

I think exercise is the key. Why not get into the habit of going for a brisk walk every day...no reason why you can't do that with a 5 month old in tow.

Also - being disciplined. Cutting down on carbs and eating more protein (works for me). I think being too strict is counter productive...so I would allow yourself to have the odd treat (maybe at the weekends?.

No quick fixes....but if you start to make some changes now...you will gradually see some good results.

BeerTricksPotter · 07/07/2011 09:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bonsoir · 07/07/2011 09:14

Buy a Baby Björn sling, if you don't already have one, and go for a long walk with your baby every day.

Lorenz · 07/07/2011 09:14

Oh yes, MyFitnessPal is great for making you aware of what you're actually consuming on one day.

fanjobanjowanjo · 07/07/2011 09:15

Have a word with your HV maybe? Ask some advice about the diet element.

D0G · 07/07/2011 09:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Grumpla · 07/07/2011 09:16

It's still pretty early days yet. I bf until 3 months and carried on being starving (and therefore putting on weight!) until about 6 months. Don't forget that your body is sorting itself out as well as producing all that milk.

I recommend buying yourself some decent bras (Freya nursing bras are good) and a couple of nice tops, cheap pair of jeans etc (in the size you actually are at the moment, not the size you wish to be!)

You will feel so much better if you're not attempting to squish into your pre-baby clothes or still schlepping around in maternity wear. And a good bra makes a massive difference to how slim you appear!

Then try and relax. Focus on eating a really good balanced diet, snack little and often with fruit etc. Trying to starve yourself will make you miserable and it won't do much good as your body is still in "must eeeeeaaattt!!!" mode.

If you can build in a bit more gentle exercise (swimming, walking) then that will help you feel more energetic without knackering you out.

Look at it this way - it took nine months to build that baby, give yourself the same amount of time to recover! Your body has done a pretty momentous thing, give yourself a break.

I did no dieting, no punishing exercise routine, by about ten months in I found that apart from a very slight tum my body was pretty much back to normal.

activate · 07/07/2011 09:17

Stop using new baby as an excuse (I did across 4 of them)

Join WW or similar (they have special programmes for breastfeeders) or simply eat sensibly

exercise more which should be easy with a baby in summer - long park walks etc

do not be depressed - your body has made a whole new person - it is obviously going to have changed a little, but that does not mean you have to be overweight if you don't want to - if you have the motivation do it - but only do it fo ryou

activate · 07/07/2011 09:18

You don't actually need to eat more to breastfeed effectively - so if you're thinking "I'll eat that because I'm bf" stop

reach for the skimmed milk rather than full-fat - head for the chicken rather than steak - normal diet rules

ENormaSnob · 07/07/2011 09:20

I am on day 4 of the 30 day shred. Plus am calorie and fat counting.

Fancy joining me?

Bonsoir · 07/07/2011 09:20

I ate like a horse while breastfeeding and lost loads of weight at the same time - I think different bodies react quite differently to breastfeeding.

I did make a massive effort to go for walks and to regain my fitness as soon as humanly possible (and my baby was a November baby so there were lots of cold winter days when we couldn't go out much). I need to be fit to be happy.

alem · 07/07/2011 09:20

I recommend Slimming World - they give you extra 'allowance' for BF, and certain things you can eat as much as you like of, which is excellent when you just NEED to eat!

Ciske · 07/07/2011 09:25

Funny, I was always told that if you BF, the weight will come off more easily! My advice would be:

Eat the same amount, but healthier. So if you have a chocolate craving, grab some water or fruit instead. If that doesn't help, stop buying chocolate. You can't eat what you don't have.
Take baby for a long walk every day. It gets you out of the house, baby will love it, and it adds up to a lot of exercise over a week.
Also, slow changes to your lifestyle is better than a crash diet. Gradually replace your diet with stuff that's nice but not full of sugar/fat, and start walking/cycling to places.

missusmrs · 07/07/2011 09:33

I'm a big ww fan! Have a 4 month old and have being going for 10 weeks now - b'feeding for 6 of them and weight has come off nice and steady at 2lbs a week - back to a lower weigh than I was pre pregnancy. You get a heap of extra points for breastfeeding, which to be honest I found hard to use up, it has mainly been portion control and some discipline re reaching for the biscuit tin! I have also enjoy going weekly to the class where I have meet lots of other local mums with new babies.

BUT what I would say has been the big thing that worked for me is walking, walking, walking. I have been out every day with the buggy for minimum 2 mile walk - check out www.walkit.com to map a local route and calculate distance.

clutteredup · 07/07/2011 09:38

I lost 2st on slimming world but the best bit was being amongst other people who were really supportive. I have since gone back to work and put back 0.5 st which I'm finding hard to shift even though i know what to do but without the group support it is much harder. WW will do the same as there is a group there. I liked SW as it let me stuff my face when I was hungry it just changes what you stuff your face on
Any weight group will probably work though as its the support that gets you through, and gets you out of the house and gets you feeling a bit better about everything including your weight - lots of people bring babies and toddlers tog roups and they get attention from the others so it all helps. Good luck

ebbandflow · 07/07/2011 09:42

I'd def agree with the walking suggestion. Also, making sure you get enough sleep-I know I always eat more after I've had a bad night sleep.

SootySweepandSue · 07/07/2011 10:00

I know how you feel. Ask HV or GP about BF and eating healthy/dieting. You need a realistic plan to motivate yourself and stick to (WW or whatever you feel could work).

There are loads of mums in the same boat and many feel awful about it.

Once you see the 1st lb come off you will be more motivated.

I am so angry with myself for getting so fat in pregnancy and at those that say the weight just falls off. I could not BF either.

I think there are a lot of myths about weight gain during and after pregnancy. That's why I think you should see GP.

Personally I can see from my friends that those that have lost their baby weight hardly put on any weight during pregnancy. I have had to resort to quite a hard core low carb diet for me to lose my weight, after spending 5 months eating sensibly and exercising which did not result in any weight loss.

Do you know how much weight you would like to lose?

MassagesDeclinedByNetmums · 07/07/2011 10:08

I'm in a similar position, DS is BF (hes 9m now, so no longer EBF) and although I somehow dont weigh any more than I did pre-preg, I'm a lump!! I understand my stomach being quite frankly fucked, but no idea why my arms have gotten so fat, esp as I'm carrying a podgy child around!?
I'm using bootsdiets.com and calorie counting. Works for me, I've lost 8lbs so far (so now actually weigh less than pre-preg), but still in bigger clothes. And my poor bingo wingy arms... :(

SootySweepandSue · 07/07/2011 10:20

I'd second getting a bra fitting too. I was wearing a 38D and turns out I am a 30G .

Original poster

Moulesfrites · 07/07/2011 11:04

ok thanks for the advice everyone - I have ordered the shred dvd this morning and had a look at walk it - this will take ds on a long walk this afternoon - this may also help his rubbish napping!

OP posts:

dreamingbohemian · 07/07/2011 11:21

Also drink lots of water and take some vitamins will help your digestion and metabolism. I've really liked taking Omega-3 supplements (fish oil) can get at Boots and the like -- as it's supposed to help digestion and I definitely feel less bloated when I take it regularly.

I also second the idea of buying some flattering clothes and cute shoes. You'll feel much better! And be patient. DS will probably be 18 months before I finally get my old body back but oh well, would rather it take longer and not be too stressed about it rather than torture myself.

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