Petty - but I'm pretty pissed off. IABU?

[notsoqueenofclean]

A couple of days ago my hoover died a death. It caught fire whilst I was doing the DCs room.

Anyway, my parents have kindly said I can borrow theirs whenever I need to until such times as we can afford to replace it. To be fair, we only have three carpeted areas in the flat so it hasn't been particularly urgent.

My brother (who lives at home with our parents and his GF) is off work today. I sent him a text earlier asking him if it would be ok to pop round to pick it up. He said he wasn't doing anything so it would be fine. In the meantime, I realised that the reason I am sitting indoors all bloody day is because I'm waiting for the heating engineers to come out and do the annual gas safety check, and for the washing machine repair people to come out and repair that (a whole other thread!). In addition, I've got DS home ill and DD2 crawling around the place trashing everything as year old babies tend to do.

I sent him another message and said as I was stuck at home etc and he was doing nothing, would he be able to pop it round to me. It would be a ten minute job out of his busy day doing nothing. I explained the situation to him and the reply I got was "If I can I will". I sent him another message, thanking him profusely and continued sitting indoors waiting for all these people. I know it wasn't a definite "yes", but I suppose I kind of thought he would consider the situation I'm in and bring it round for me. I don't drive and would have had difficulty pushing the double buggy and dragging a hoover along behind me, even if I could leave the house to pick it up.

I've now just received a text from his GF (who is lovely - no bad blood between us) saying she is in all day so I can pop round and pick it up whenever I want. This has annoyed me for two reasons, one, they both know I'm waiting in for these fuckwits to turn up, DS is ill etc and two, because I don't feel that I need an invitation to go round to my parents house.

I just think if he didn't want to do it, he should have said so from the off, instead of leading me to think he would be in anyway helpful. It's really niggled me because last week, when he wanted to borrow the badge glue for DD1's brownies badges, I ran it round there once DH was home with the DCs. When he asked me to look after his camera after a night out, then requested it back the next day, rather than getting off his arse and picking it up, I went round to bring it to him. I don't think him helping me out today was too much to ask.

The carpets in question, for anyone who is remotely interested are in the hallway so get pretty yucky due to high traffic, the DC's bedroom (say no more!) and the rug in the front room which has to be kept relatively nice because DD2 is crawling and the front room and kitchen are open plan, plus I have the messiest kids ever.

So, IABU? I can take it

I think you need to relax, have a cup of and buy a vacuum cleaner as quickly as possible. In that order.

1. He prob hasn't told her abouit your second text.

2. they live there too so its not just your parents house

and

3. go buy a hoover, you can get one in argos for half nothing.

I know it's really silly, but it has really riled me. The tea is on, teh VC may take a little while longer to sort out due to funds though

YANBU but if he has got no responsibilities then he is unlikely to appreciate your situation

You could just be really stressed from DS being ill, DD starting to crawl and trash the place, and both your washing machine and hoover breaking at the same time (I'm having to replace both at the same time too so I know how annoying it is!) and could be over thinking things?

Argos are selling some of their hoovers at half price right now you could try there or gumtree for a cheap one to do till you can buy a better one.

look on freecycle, or ebay. Won't be hard to find a hoover. Actually I'd be pretty pissed off if someone assumed I'd be at their beck and call as a delivery person just because I didn't have much on.

beck and call? really

Hang on you text to see if you can come and pick hoover up and asked what he was doing, then you said EVEN if you wasnt waiting on people you wouldnt of wanted to go with a double buggy carrying a vacuum cleaner.

To me you expected him from the start to bring it round. YABU. ? Next time ask him from the off

If his gf is as lovely as you say, maybe text her back and explain the situation, maybe she doesn't realise. Maybe your brother has just said you want it without explaining the pickle you are in?

May I suggest picking up the phone and having an actual conversation?

I would be a bit irritated, but it sounds like you all pander to him a lot so he is used to having things done for him rather than being the doer!

I didn't say that MrSpoc. I said that even if I could leave the house I would have had difficulty carrying it and pushing the buggy. Not exactly the same as not wanting to. I would have done it had he said no from the off. It would have been a struggle but not impossible.

But like I said, I can take it and the general consensus is that IABU, so fair enough

Your bro sounds like mine - not really willing to help anyone out unless there's something in it for him, but will act like he will and then let you down. As a result I never ask him for a favour, so maybe lesson learned there? He's not obliged to help you out (although it would be nice if he did).

It's not really the gf's fault so I think it's a bit unfair to blame her. She may have meant it in a "there is someone in and the house is open so come round when you like" light and breezy way, rather than giving you permission to go to your parent's house. OTOH maybe they've had a conversation where he's said "text my sister and tell her to come round, there's no way I'm going there", and she's trying to be nice about it because she's been put in that position.

If I were you I think I'd just manage (dustpan etc) til you can get hold of a vacuum tbh. It seems a lot of drama and there's bigger things to worry about than vacuuming :)

No I don't think you're being unreasonable, just call him and ask straight out to bring it round now as you really need and you would really appreciate it this one time.
Do you notice how, in the two or more instances of things that you have done for him, he has been very direct in asking you for what he wanted, i.e. bring the camera back, drop the glue round - I would just deal with him in the same manner.

Katie, yep, lesson learned!

wait, hold on a minute... wanted to borrow the badge glue for DD1's brownies badges
you can get badge glue? tell me more of this badge glue, you may just have made my day

and YANBU, but no point getting het up, just remember his lazyass behaviour next time he wants anything, the git.

badge glue - came from a local shop selling the brownie kit. i'd look up the name of it for you but my brother still has it . Think is was called Loctite or something. It's fab, squirt it on the badge, stick badge to sash, stick sash under the mattress for 24 hours and voila, job done! Just don't let DD pull the badges, they will come off.

YANBU, and your brother is not being considerate.

But I would second actually TALKING rather than texting.

Glueing your badges on to your sash is CHEATING

I know, because all mine were glued on to my camp blanket with a glue gun

YABU. You asked him if you could go round and get it then you started changing your mind... just buy a bloody hoover

YANBU - but why not give him a call and explain (again) why you can't go around to pick it up? Much better than texting and you might get the response you are after!

I've just bought one of these www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/4065292/Trail/searchtext%3EHOOVERS.htm It's REALLY good for the price. I never buy expensive hoovers, have no luck with them and have managed to blow up three in the past year