Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When does it get easier?

28 replies

luvviemum · 02/07/2011 20:34

My kids are five and almost two so one and school and the other starts nursery part time in September. I can't wait for a bit of head space and time to do something for myself. This evening I feel bloody knackered and can hardly string a sentence together after a full on day with my two little monkeys. When does it get a bit easier? Does it get easier?

OP posts:
choceyes · 02/07/2011 20:39

Gosh I feel the same way. Mine are 2.8yrs and 10 months and it is just relentless. No family around to help so it's me and DH all weekend, and me during the week. NO evening as such either as kids don't go to bed till nearly 8.30 (we try our best for an earlier bedtime, despite knackering them all day they just won't). We got DD down today by 7.15pm which was great, but then the bloody phone rang and woke her up and she is still awake..grrrrrrrrrrrr DH has taken her out in the sling to get her to sleep.

Please please let it get easier. Neither me or DH can take this anymore, truely. I go back to work in a couple of weeks time, and I am looking forward to it.

AgentZigzag · 02/07/2011 20:42

It does get easier you'll be glad to know Smile

They're still a PITA when they get older, but it's an easier to handle and different type of pain.

Mine are 10 YO and 18 MO, which for me are two really good ages, but 2 and 5 are, like you say, two little monkeys learning the rules.

It's weird leaving them at school and nursery, you're sad the baby era had passed but you soon get over it with a few hours hearing yourself think Grin

Omigawd · 02/07/2011 21:27

It gets easier when the youngest gets to about 3. The time before that we called " the tunnel"' it was just a complete grind.

LordOfTheFlies · 02/07/2011 21:28

Whenever I used to ask this,people with older children said it didn't! Shock

It's just that you swap one sort of stress for another.
Getting to and from school.
All the school goings-on
Homework- making sure it's picked up/done on time/handed in/to a high standard

And DS who seems to think his X-Box and Nintendo are some kind of life-support and Pokemon is the only foreign language he needs to learn.And boy, is he fluent!

When the little one is at nursery you might start hankering after Baby 3 Grin

wigglesrock · 02/07/2011 21:30

When the youngest gets to 3, I found it easier, they would play with their big sister, of course I took LordOfTheFlies advice, dd3 is 4 months Grin

worraliberty · 02/07/2011 21:30

It will get easier in September believe me.

Just make sure you use some of that time as 'you' time.

CardyMow · 02/07/2011 22:55

Gets easier? When they leave home? Mine are 13yo, 9yo, 7yo and 5 months.

Fernier · 02/07/2011 23:01

my oldest is 6 she is less demanding on my time than when she was younger but somehow manages to make herself known just as much!

Andrewofgg · 03/07/2011 09:39

When they leave home and end education.

OracleInaCoracle · 03/07/2011 09:41

yabu

bigTillyMint · 03/07/2011 09:41

Agree with Loudlassand Andrewfogg - the demands are different, but they are still there as they get olderSmile

tazmin · 03/07/2011 09:59

so your kid is one and you cant wait to get rid of it onto someone else lol

nice

Original poster
luvviemum · 03/07/2011 18:25

Actually tazmin, it's not that I can't wait to get rid of him, I just miss having a bit of head space to myself and judging by the other constructive replies, that's a normal feeling. He's my constant little companion and I love him more than anything but I still crave a bit of time to myself.
Anyway, feeling much better today after a good rest but thanks for that comment tazmin - really helpful - not.
The other posts have made me laugh and encouraged me so thanks for those ladies.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 03/07/2011 18:31

You don't have to justify yourself to anyone luvvie, especially posters making really unhelpful remarks.

September will come around before you know it Smile

ElizabethTaylor · 03/07/2011 18:47

I'm finding it a lot easier now ds is 4 and can communicate well and play independantly. He can tidy up and eats his breakfast/lunch/dinner without much trouble. I never thought I'd say this, but I've come a long way from days of wanting to just hand him over to dh and walk out. He was a really clingy baby, with colic and rashes and never wanted to be put down. He had trouble sleeing and would refuse to eat.

Things just got better as he started nursery. Mind you, I stopped at one dc as anymore would have driven me totally crazy so it's probably diffferent with two and more... Good luck OP hope you enjoy your time with them as it seems to be going so fast. I recently bought a sign for our home that says... "these are the good old days' : )

ElizabethTaylor · 03/07/2011 19:17

sorry about all the typos Blush

Whorulestheroost · 03/07/2011 19:24

luvviemum I can barely remember the first few years of my kids life it just seems like a haze of hard work and tiredness! I had my two within 15 months of one another. I can definitely say that it got 100% easier once they were both at school full time, not just because they were at school but also by that age they are much more independent. They are 6 and 7 now and whilst being a parent is hard work still I really look forward to our time together. I work 3 days and 2 evenings a week, so full time hours but I get 2 full days alone and boy do I love it. :o

JoleneJoleneJoleneJoleeene · 03/07/2011 19:27

Fuck off tazmin.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/07/2011 19:32

I don't think it pays to wait for things to get easier. Instead you have to create that space for yourself you're talking about. In my case, it meant booking a regular babysitter for a few hours, same evening each week and joining a music group. It's something to look forward to, gives me chance to breathe, relax, and I can come back to motherhood feeling slightly more like a human being afterwards.

zipzap · 03/07/2011 20:05

My dad used to reckon the best bit of parenting advice he was given when we were little was:

The first 51 years are the worst.

Grin

Sorry that's probably not what you wanted to hear...

Rowgtfc72 · 03/07/2011 20:50

DD is 4 and starts full time school in September. I work mornings whilst dh works afternoons .Cant wait till I get two whole hours a day to myself for a whole five days a week !

follyfoot · 03/07/2011 20:51

At 17 3/4. I kid you not.

BulletWithAName · 03/07/2011 20:52

Tazmin, you're a twat.

Schtum · 03/07/2011 22:17

It absolutely does get easier. Being with young children is enormously demanding and those early years are utterly relentless.

My only advise to you is to grab as much help as you can and don't feel guilty about making life easy for yourself whenever you can. In hindsight, I think I probably made things harder than necessary for myself sometimes and if I had my time again I'd be a little easier on myself and cut a few corners.

I'd say things got considerably easier when my girls were 5 and 3. They are now 17 and 15.

Hang on in there...

letthembe · 03/07/2011 22:28

I was at the beach today, glorious day. And as my DC (8 and nearly 7) played together building sandcastles and digging in the sand I was able to sit back and watch the world go by... that world was full of toddlers being chased by anxious parents/grandparents. I was able to leave my two on the sand whilst I went to get ice-cream, I let them go to the toilets by themselves. (i want to add here it is a small quaint coastal spot on the North East coast, not some crazy place with thousands of people) and we go there nearly every week at this time of the year. I did go with them when they went into the sea with their bodyboards - but that was great fun.
Anyway, my point is it does get easier. You can relax a bit more as they become more independent and worldly-wise. And now we can do more things together - mountain biking, walks, boardgames etc. And YANBU, it can be pretty relentless when they are young, I know mine were 17months apart.