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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH off on stag weekend, I pack for hols?

15 replies

PinkSchmoo · 02/07/2011 10:48

DH is making another wanky suggestion.

He is going on a stag weekend away from Friday to Sunday about 4pm in time for dinner bath bed for DD aged 2.3 and DS aged 8 weeks.

He has suggested that we book a holiday leaving at 6am on the Monday. So his plan is I have the two kids all weekend, which is currently pretty full on, get them fully packed and organised, house cleaned, all the crap you do before heading away with no help.

He has offered his mothers assistance but time and again she has proven herself to be unreliable (turned up 2 hours late last time she was babysitting, we were supposed to be meeting friends). My folks can't assist as they are on hols.

I have suggested we go on the Tuesday at 6am instead and he take off Monday to help with the pre holiday horror.

Aibu and a total wimp? DS will be 12 weeks at time.

OP posts:

motherinferior · 02/07/2011 10:53

If he's getting back at 4pm, he can pack his stuff and the kids' stuff, and clean, that evening. You don't have to do all that much sorting the house, after all.

forwantofabetter1 · 02/07/2011 10:57

just get him to leave out the stuff he wants to take before he leaves on the stag and then do it gradually over the weekend. You have 3 days. Then tell him you may need a hand to tidy round when he gets back on the sunday. Take up the offer of the MIL help but dont count on it then if she turns up its a bonus.

motherinferior · 02/07/2011 11:06

Oh no, don't do his packing, obviously. And I wouldn't say you 'may need a hand' but just point out that if he doesn't get back till 4pm, that'll mean quite a bit of housework for him that evening.

leapster · 02/07/2011 11:15

tell him you will leave him space in the suitcase for him to pack his stuff when he gets back.

my ex always packed his own stuff for holiday, kids were my responsibility because id just panic and drive myself nuts that he would forget something (thats MY problem to deal with really lol) so i packed because then id not lie awake all night worrying (pathetic arent i)

As for cleaning whats to clean? wash the pots hoover through so its tidy for you coming back but surely im not alone in not spring cleaning the whole house JUST because im going on holiday?

jeckadeck · 02/07/2011 12:25

I think your suggestion makes sense but if he doesn't want to take a whole day off then he can comfortably get it done on Sunday night as long as he's prepared to put his back into it. Its a bit of a pain in the arse for you though.

fatlazymummy · 02/07/2011 15:37

I don't see any problem really, if you keep on top of the washing. Just put clothes into a suitcase instead of wardrobe or drawers.
As others have said, just a quick tidy up, make sure there are no dirty dishes, milk in the fridge etc.

blackeyedsusan · 02/07/2011 15:44

write a list well before hand and tick it off as you put things in the suitcase. look on the bright side, he is not going to be around to make a mess or dress the children in clothes you have set aside for thew holiday, and he is goingto have to make up for his weekend away by doing loads of house work.

mamas12 · 02/07/2011 15:53

Your suggestion is good but I would also go along with the list.
Make the list now on what needs to be done and ask him/discuss which ones he will be doing and which ones you can manage with tow little ones to contend with.
He most definitely gets to do his own packing and if/when he forgets anything while you are on hols don't you stress about it it his problem just lie back and enjoy your holiday.
Hope it's not self catering as that to me is not a holiday for - just doing what I n0rmally do in a different place.

Original poster

PinkSchmoo · 02/07/2011 19:34

I think I must be unreasonable. One of these folk who have to be absolutely on top of everything before I go on holiday plus chances of DH being any use when he gets home after 2 days drinking are from experience sod all so he won't be that much help on the Sunday night.

Will still insist he take off Monday but if organised may recant at the time.

OP posts:

Original poster

PinkSchmoo · 02/07/2011 19:37

And to all those list lovers - believe it or not I keep them from previous holidays so it's easier to update. Yes, I am a slight freak.

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Inertia · 02/07/2011 21:57

I think he's taking the piss because he doesn't want to help.

I agree with your suggestion, he takes the day off on the Monday and takes the children out for the day to allow you time to pack. He also takes complete responsibility on the Sunday night for either the children or any laundry that needs doing ready to pack .

PrincessJenga · 02/07/2011 22:08

Pink, I can't believe so many people think this is okay. Even if he does do his own packing and a bit of cleaning on the Sunday night, you'll be shattered after having the kids yourself all weekend (and presumably for the week before too). That's no way to go on holiday. I think your suggestion of going on the Tuesday is a very good one - especially if you insist on spending the Monday at a spa

motherinferior · 03/07/2011 08:44

Oh, if he's going to be pathetic about it, definitely bugger off on the Monday out on your own. Leave him with the kids to pack. I was working on the basis he was a functioning adult who could come home and sort himself out.

motherinferior · 03/07/2011 08:45

Oh, and I did mean all the cleaning on Sunday. Leave that for him too, then. Agree you've got enough on your plate with the kids.

Original poster

PinkSchmoo · 03/07/2011 19:44

Phew, was really beginning to think I was a wimp. To be honest at the mo I am finding the bare minimum requirements of childcare (fed, dressed, semi clean and entertainment which doesn't involve too much tv) leaves me exhausted and the house looking like the aftermath of a nuclear blast. Anything beyond that and I'm pretty much stumped.

All the it'll be no bother replies were making me feel a bit like a hugely inefficient type so glad it's mixed. Hurrah and ta!

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