to be angry at 18month given cider?

[BellaBear1]

Ok... having a very wrestless night being angry!! I generally try to live my life with an understanding for different things and live with compassion for others.

however, I was visiting my best friend tonight and her fiance shouted their 18month old son across the living room to give him a drink out of his can of cider. I tried very hard to hide my look of horror but he must have read it anyway.... he reassured me saying, 'dont worry my dad gives him it all the time, he loves bacardi breezer'.

I understand that their parenting styles are completely their choice and i try very hard not to judge but i really cant seem to shake my feeling of anger over this. My thoughts were...

1. he could cut his lip on a can?
2. why shout him over when he was showing no interest
3. mainly... why give him any type of alcohol?

is this harmful to the child? can anyone reassure me that this isnt a big deal... I am trying to come to a point to see it from his point of view but i cant seem to find a positive in this situation? ultimately i cant do anything about it, he is their son... Really just wanted to vent and get some others opinions.

No fucking excuse for this I'd tell them it's not acceptable and if they didn't listen I'd call social services

Well it's illegal to give alcohol to a child under 5yrs old if I remember rightly...so there must be a reason for it.

It's totally mad to give a child booze.

Now I'm pretty tolerant of anything when it comes to parenting, but this horrifies me. It only takes a tiny amount of alcohol to damage a baby. Personally, I'd probably first check if she was joking about the Bicardi Breezer, then call social services. And I've never said that before.

I've tried to find a link for you on the dangers of giving a baby alcohol, but all I can find is this and lots of warnings about drinking in pregnancy. Because even the least intelligent people generally know that it's not ever okay to give a baby alcohol.

Worra is right.

Seriously, I would be calling the Social.

It is widely accepted that children who are introduced to alcohol at an early age are more likely to think (later on) that it is ok to drink to excess. I'm impressed that you didn't say anything really! I'd have found it difficult to stop myself.

How appalling.

can't think how that could be right on any level. I think it is worth following up with professionals -GP, Social Services? What else might they think it harmless to expose a toddler to, porn, smoking, violence?

I might be a bit old fashioned, but I think it is a big deal. YANBU

Call SS tomorrow. This is abuse.

What the??? Call the social is right, pure child abuse, god knows what else goes on if they carry one like this in front of strangers.

Call social services immediately!

If this is true (its so ridiculous I am having a hard time believing it tbh) I would definitly be on the phone to SS, and would have probably done it at the time so they could do an alcohol test on the bloody baby

oh for goodness sake get a grip all you hysterical women. One sip of cider is not going to do any damage. You'd get more alcohol in a bit of 'off' fruit FGS.
I sometimes can't believe the level of angst on MN. This tops it.

Was it a joke? Did you see the child take a drink of cider? Or were your friends winding you up?

If it is true then it is not overreacting to call ss. Alcohol is dangerous for children. I would have thought that was obvious, Kiwi.

Would you stand back and watch a friend give drugs to a baby? Or let a child smoke a cigarette?

Alcohol in childhood can have far reaching effects on the health and well-being of the child.

Kiwi - We're not getting hysterical about one sip of cider, although that's never a good idea. The OP is talking about regular consumption of alcohol by an infant. It was this phrase, "dont worry my dad gives him it all the time, he loves bacardi breezer" that worries me so much. The child even apparently has a favourite tipple. This family need help before the child comes to serious harm.

It is very odd to give a child cider like that - if it was one sip then perhaps not so bad one sip wont kill him but if they are saying they regularly give him alcohol its a bit off. I thought i was being daring giving my toddler sips of my pepsi though so maybe i am a little oversensitive.

Its so annoying when people call social services 'the social', 'the social' is a colloquialism which refers to the people who sort out benefits not abuse, social services sort out abuse (and even then the proper name is 'childrens social care' but that is a bit of a mouthful!).

yes, you should never give a child booze but Jesus fucking Christ, you think its better to have him taken away from what is most likely a loving but very misguided family? my mother used to rub brandy on my gums when I was teething, would you have had me taken away? when she suggested I do the same for dd, I politely declined but if I had done, would you phone 'the social' on me?
OP- this woman is your friend and as such I assume that she is generally a good mother. most likely she has no idea a little SIP of alcohol could potentially cause harm. I'm sure they just think its cute letting baby do grown up things. please find a way to inform her of the dangers but don't call SS unless there are other issues at the home.

I have family members who do that, a tiny sip, DH and I don't agree with it but there is NO QUESTION of them abusing the children or showing them porn etc, you are all hysterically overreacting.

Very wrong yes, but don't panic!! For my generation, we were routinely given gripe water to make us sleep which contained alcohol - which is why my generation as babies slept so well!

I'd be very interested in the opinion of any doctors on here.....

chilli - no-one wants the child taken away from its parents, for goodness sake. Social Services don't sweep in and snatch up children whenever they are called. What they will do is investigate, find out if there is a problem and help the parents to resolve it.

I feel the OP should call social services because I doubt they would listen to anyone without some authority behind them.

And putting a bit of brandy on a child's dummy, while also wrong, is very different to regularly giving them alcohol to drink purely for the entertainment factor.

I remember being allowed to drink the bit of foam that came out the top of a beer can when opened when I was about 8 ish. But this was only at a family party for eg a birthday and only the once. I do think 18 months old is too young and yes I would be concerned by the fact it seems to be a regular occurance. Can you have a chat with your friend in private and see if it has been an exageration/joke and was just said because he saw the look on your face.

I think if the child had come over to his dad and wanted to try the alchol and was very curious then a smidgen to put them off the taste (hopefully!) is fine.

But to actively call them over when there is no curiosity and its not a one-off event is not right.

What an immature twat (him, obviously)

I think people sometimes encourage their children to drink alcohol to reassure themselves about how harmless it is. Wonder if this man drinks too much?

TBH if this is not a wind up then I suspect the dad just said it as a reaction to your look of horror. I react like this to my mum. If she says sarcastically "When did you last wash your hair?" I'll pretend to have a good long think and answer "4 months ago" just to wind her up.

The liver swells slightly when an adult consumes alcohol,so by introducing it to an immature liver and blood system,no matter how little,is putting this babies body under serious stress just to process it.

Completely unacceptable IMHO.