To have asked cleaner to come in this week?

[Geordieminx]

we used to have a lovely cleaner (£7ph), who came in once a week for 3 hours. Unfortunately I couldn't justify the cost when work dried up (am consultant, no work since feb, but am looking)

I have just text to ask if she can come and do a one off clean this week (she said when she finished she would be happy to do this), as I have family coming this weekend, have a load of bits and pieces on this week, and would prefer to spend the time out playing in the sunshine rather than cleaning the house top to bottom.

Thing is I didn't run this by Dh, and if I am honest I probably won't tell him. Not that it's a problem, and I will be paying for it myself, but I guess I just feel a bit guilty that since I am not working I should be taking responsibility for house stuff.

So AIBU to have the house cleaned this week and not fess up to Dh? If it helps she does a fab job...so much better than me

I'd tell him...what's the worst he can say?

NU!! but why keep it from him? why should you do it yourself if you can afford to outsource it? i wouldn't choose to do cleaning if i could afford not o!

It's such a minor thing, i wouldn't mention it either. Not through wanting to deceive, but it's what £21?? Would you "run it past him" if you were spending that on food for the family thing this weekend? Or buying a couple of t-shirts for the kids? Probably not?

So, no, I wouldn't make it into a big deal at all, and certainly not something to confess about! I'd mention it only if it came up in conversation.

you ARE taking responsibility for house stuff though, by arranging for the cleaner to come in.

tell him

That was my reasoning cordy. Have been a bit down in the dumps this week (just PMT) and he had said I deserved a treat... Having lovely lady come and clean the house this week is a treat!

We have a joint account, and there are no issues with money, it's all shared.

I like you style Monica

I don't think he would really, it's more my own conscious, that I have done nowt this week... And could have done it. Well, when I say nowt, I have been running round like an idiot, but nothing of any value?

I think it's just because I'm not working at the moment?

you are in danger of losing my 'support' here Geordie

you feel guilty because you haven't done anything of 'value'

what would you say to a RL friend of yours who told you that?

Oh you are right, it's a daft thing to say, I'm just in a PMT fuelled everything is shit, I'm shit kinda mood.

'assa gal!

now do some happy shit!

I'd be interested to explore what activities you see as having 'any value' and which don't.

I think a lot of women see housework as having moral value; but fewer men do. this is problematic as a woman who sees housework as having value would instinctively expect that the more she does, the more respect she will earn whereas in fact my observation would be that, sadly, the more housework a woman does, the less she is respected by the rest of the family . The solution: if you can afford it, get cleaners if you can't make sure it's shared.

i dont see housework as having moral value. it has practical value, as in, when it's done, the house is clean. i dont clean because it is morally right, i clean because it needs done. there is nothing moral about my decision to clean.

It's a sign!!! Guests have just rung to say they will be here on Friday evening instead of Saturday, so even less time!

Shame I am off on the piss networking on Friday evening, so Dh will have to entertain. it also means guests can watch ds, so Dh can pick me up on Friday evening, thus saving £25 taxi fare..... Happy dappy days.

excellent, that saved taxi fare will pay for an extra 3 hours of cleaning

If it makes you feel any better am currently on ml, going back in about 6 weeks, told dh last night I had looked into a cleaner for 4 hours every 2 weeks (you are lucky round here they are £12.50 ph) however I am struggling at the moment to really clean and reckon I need to get it sorted before I go back to work for my sanity!

I am envious of 3 hours at £7ph!!!!!

I would get a cleaner if i could afford it; dont feel guilty.
I'm sure that you when you work you more than contribute financially.
I wouldn't waste time worrying about housework having a 'moral' value. (Wtf does that mean anyway?).
You can afford 20 quid so get it done for you & relax.
Just say to DH: 'I'm getting the house cleaned by X just this week' (you are stating a fact not asking permission).
Then change the subject.
Ps does he understand about PMT - if not then do enlighten him :-).