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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be this stupid?

26 replies

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 23/06/2011 21:38

Isn't really a thread about a thread, more a thread about a fact I have just read in a thread that has made me think I am possibly very stupid [embarassed]

I never really understood what Ms meant - is it really as simple as a way of saying that you are not a Miss (and "belong" to your father) and also not a Mrs (and "belong" to your husband). Im pretty shocked. I had no idea. I actually thought Ms was the term you HAD to use when you had been divorced (as I am) and were therefore no longer a Mrs - a married - or a Miss - an unmarried single. This is very genuine, I haven't name changed or anything. Feel very stupid and also a bit Hmm that women still have to have a prefix to their name that is related to which fecking man they "belong" to. Do I need to go back to school [embarassed]

OP posts:
MumblingRagDoll · 23/06/2011 21:41

People choose it so they can be anon...some people don't see why strangers should know their marital status by their title when men's titles do not reveal theirs.

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 23/06/2011 21:43

Yes I totally agree that women shouldn't have to reveal any marital status if they don't change it is more the fact that I cannot believe that I didn't know this, or rather, didn't understand it properly.

OP posts:
TakeMeDrunkImHome · 23/06/2011 21:43

if they don't choose not change (see I AM stupid!)

OP posts:
MumblingRagDoll · 23/06/2011 21:44

You can be whatver you want! Ms, Miss or Mrs. There's no law! Grin

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 23/06/2011 21:45

Well, you live and learn!

OP posts:
Olifin · 23/06/2011 21:47

'a bit Hmm that women still have to have a prefix to their name that is related to which fecking man they "belong" to'

That's just it though with Ms. Any woman can use it: single, married, divorced, widowed....

caramelwaffle · 23/06/2011 21:47

Buuuuuuuuump Grin

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 23/06/2011 21:48

I really didn't understand it but now I do.

OP posts:
OddBoots · 23/06/2011 21:49

At what age can one use Ms? 8y/o dd has started asking, not that she gets called Miss often anyway.

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 23/06/2011 21:50

I suppose given what Olifin has said, it can be used at any age. Not that I would know!

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 23/06/2011 21:51

I have been married twice and obviously single and divorced at other times too and I have always been Ms since I was old enough to realise I had a choice. For me it really was because i resented people knowing my marital status. There was a time when I first started using it (about 20 years ago) when I was asked several times if I was a lesbian, as it was only die hard feminists and lesbians that used it, or so I was told :o

Thankfully, while I think DH would prefer me to be Mrs because he says he is proud to be married to me and wants everyone to know it, he doesnt push it and accepts my need to be Ms. Taking his name when we were married (or not, as I wanted to keep my maiden name) was another row altogether and is why I am officially double barrelled but "forget" to use the second part of my surname most of the time!

Bogeyface · 23/06/2011 21:52

OldBoots, I was about 15 /16 when I started using it. Obviously I got the old "rolled eyes" from my parents who thought it was a phase. Clearly they still do as they send our anniversary cards to Mr and Mrs XX Hmm

MsTeak · 23/06/2011 21:56

A lot of people think the same as you did, OP, so don't be too embaressed about it. You know now, thats the main thing. Smile

EricNorthmansMistress · 23/06/2011 21:57

Takemedrunk you've got it Grin

Oddboots she can be Ms now - why not?

catsareevil · 23/06/2011 21:59

Lots of people dont understand this - you were hardly alone in what you thought. Smile

whysolate · 23/06/2011 21:59

I thought the same as you!

OddBoots · 23/06/2011 22:00

Thanks all, I shall (or she can) tick Ms where it occurs for her. :)

veritythebrave · 23/06/2011 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 23/06/2011 22:06

I'm getting annoyed as I sit here thinking actually; when I moved into new house 4 weeks ago and had to register for gas/elec etc. I did say I was Ms TMDIH (because I am stupid and thought as a divorcee I had to be a Ms) and the woman said I could only be Miss or Mrs Hmm

OP posts:
DogsBestFriend · 23/06/2011 22:07

I'm Ms (divorced) and was also Ms pre-marriage. I noticed today that DD1, who is 16, has also opted for Ms on her college transport application form.

Atta girl DD1! :o

Garcia10 · 23/06/2011 22:13

I hate it when I am asked if it I am 'Miss' or 'Mrs.'. I just don't see that it is relevant. When asked I always say Dr. but then feel a bit pretentious.

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 23/06/2011 22:16

I'm going to start saying Lieutenant. (sp?)

OP posts:
whysolate · 23/06/2011 22:16

I want to be Lady Whysolate! Grin

whysolate · 23/06/2011 22:16

X post!

BluddyMoFo · 23/06/2011 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.