To make DS pay for his own cinema ticket?

[Lorenz]

Because DS is such a pain in the mornings (getting up late, shouting, not getting ready etc) I hatched a deal that if he managed to be good every morning I would take him to see a movie at the cinema. First week he blew it by playing me up on two seperate mornings. Second week he blew it again.

Now, the movie he wants to see probably won't be on much longer so I'm considering taking him to see it on saturday but making him buy his own ticket from his pocket money. He said he'd be happy to do this.

Opinions?

No YANBU, You are teaching him some valuable lessons!
I never even got pocket money :(

He's 10. Usually I'd never make them pay for their own ticket but DS paid for himself when he went to see the film with his mates and I don't want him to see DS2 being rewarding for this constant bad behaviour in a morning. Plus, I want DS2 to see that had he been good, he would have got cinema as well as keeping his pocket money.

I have 5 children (15-6yrs) and the only way we can go to the cinema is if they pay for themselves.
They are quite happy to do this as normally they have more money than us .

If he'd be happy to do it, it's not really a punishment is it?

I have got myself into situations like that before with my 11yo ds, and ended up feeling like a complete mug! My ds would be happy to pay for his own ticket, and would think that as he's paid for his own ticket, he may as well properly raid his money box and buy a big stash of pic n mix as well.

Then we'd argue about why he could spend his money on a ticket and not sweets.

If you usually buy popcorn/sweets/ice cream, you may as well pay for his ticket, but deny him the extra treat so he actually feels like he's lost out on something because of his behaviour, rather than got out of a punishment because Granny gave him money which he then get to use to buy his way out of it.

As far as I can see the deal was - good behaviour = go to the cinema, bad behaviour= don't go to the cinema. Paying for himself is a red herring - its just another version of 'go to the cinema', and teaches him nothing at all, except, 'I can mess about in the mornings, and still go to the cinema' .

On the other hand - you've offered it now, so you're in a slightly awkward position.

I agree with bubblecoral and think you're negating the punishment as he still gets to see the film after behaving badly. If he misses the film then tough, he should have behaved.

i agree with Bubblecord and Morticia. You promised him this as a treat if he behaved in the mornings. He hasn't behaved but you are going to take him anyway. There is no incentive there for him to behave in the future. Maybe he shouldn't even be having the pocket money.

I agree with cat64 - he's learning nothing if you take him (evewn though he pays). Your 'deals' mean nothing then, do they?