Punishment for a 6yo....

[Itsjustafleshwound]

So she scratches her brother and leaves a mark. I ask her (twice) if she did it (Saw the mark when bathing DS) she denies it and blames it on a nursery boy (sounds dodgy) so ask her again.

Yes, she scratched her brother, lied to me and then proceeds to shout at me that she is sorry!! I withdraw her bedtime story and all hell breaks loose...

AIBU??

I would have chosen a different punishment...then read the bedtime story and perhaps had a quick chat to reinforce why it's wrong.

But we all do things differently so YANBU

did you ask why she did it? or how it happened? maybe it was an accident?

We don't take bedtime stories away because they always end the day on a good note. I would have taken something else away to earn back (no TV tomorrow, or remove favourite doll or something for a day or two).

I don't do bedtime story anymore but would have punished. Probably more so for the lying than the scratch as agree they can happen 1) by accident and 2) as an impulse because other child did something first.

We've always given two punishments...1 for the 'crime' and 1 for telling lies.

We make it absolutely clear that there would have only been 1 punishment had they told the truth.

Oh worra can we do that?

Not an accident at all - I was more angry that she had lied to me and tried to cover up!

I explained why I took away her story - her brother hogs the TV so I don't think it would really affect her as much!!

Half hour later and she is STILL crying and asking ME to apologise ....

It does work...though it sometimes takes a spot of waterboarding to get them to admit they've lied

Hmm. Yes, to punishment but not keen on withdrawing bedtime stories, but it is not overly harsh.

Could you ask her to draw a picture for her brother tomorrow to apologise for hurting him. How old is your DS?

Hmm my dd is really odd if she (deliberately or accidentally) does anything to harm her younger brother. She'll deny and deny then throw a massive, totally out-of-proportion strop. I suspect that it's because she actually feels horrid knowing that she hurt her brother, and can't handle not likng what she did, if that makes any sense?

Makes absolute sense AS, but there will also be an element of your dd not wanting others to know that she is 'horrid' and possibly think less of her because of it.

Your dd is lucky to have a dm/df who is aware that what is displayed on the surface does not necessarily reflect what is happening underneath, and you should have no problem in encouraging your dd to examine her feelings and come to the conclusion that certain behaviour is not worthy of her.