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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my ex should be castrated?

23 replies

juicychops · 18/06/2011 12:53

ds is 6 - his dad decided he didn't want anything to do with him when he turned 1.

He then went on to have another child with his next girlfriend. He stopped seeing that child for 2 years but recently started seeing him.

He hasn't worked for 5 years and claims incapacity benefit for a bad back that is clearly not so bad that he can do labouring and gardening jobs for cash in hand.

ds gets £3.36 per week out of his benefit money and thats the only support ive ever had from him since he last saw him 5 years ago.

just found out that his new girlfriend of 5 months is 3 months pregnant with his 3rd child.

so 3 kids from 3 different women, one of which he has nothing to do with, and another he's only just started seeing after 2 years of no contact. No job, claiming benefits fraudulently and the biggest dick head in the world

It makes me so god damn angry. I wish it didn't but i can't help it

OP posts:
worraliberty · 18/06/2011 12:55

What was he like when you decided to have a child with him?

Has he become a completely different person since, or are you not a great judge of character?

PregolaLola · 18/06/2011 12:56

what an arse, jeremy worthy.

BoscoIsMyLover · 18/06/2011 12:57

I agree with worra you picked him.....

creamola · 18/06/2011 13:00

chopping his balls off is not a solution

MorallyBankrupt · 18/06/2011 13:01

I do think people need to think a little bit harder before they pick someone to have children with.

People don't change that much.

Original poster
juicychops · 18/06/2011 13:02

yeah he was a dick when i was with him but i was 18 when i met him and he was my first boyfriend and was besotted. It took a long time to realise

OP posts:
mree · 18/06/2011 13:03

I'd be ringing the benefit fraud hotline if I were you...

worraliberty · 18/06/2011 13:03

That's the thing. For every feckless fuckwit who goes around 'Fathering' children in this way, there are women allowing them to do it.

I know we continually here about failed contraception in almost all of these cases (if you ask the mother) but really, it does take 2 to tango.

perfumedlife · 18/06/2011 13:05

Since you were the first to have a child with him I think it's hard to know he would be so feckless? On the other hand, I know someone who chose to have a child to her on/off, fully aware he had three other kids by two woman he never saw/maintained. He never worked, did all sorts of drugs and emptied her bank account when she was having the labour from hell!

She still moans about him, their child is 4. I no longer listen. Some people sleepwalk through their lives.

Reality · 18/06/2011 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Reality · 18/06/2011 13:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PregolaLola · 18/06/2011 13:14

i think being a bad judge of character is not eactly something thats your fault maybe if he was a PROPER dick then you'd be a fool, like if he had seven by seven he didnt see nor feed, still shit on your kids behalf though which is why i feel its him who is an arse as its him who is being the arse Now.

and reality , i dont think its a way you should thinkof it... remember you arent stupid as you are bringing your children up seeing the perfect moments and hes missing them.... bet you wouldnt change your kids father for the world because that would change them.

BoscoIsMyLover · 18/06/2011 13:15

Its not stupidity Reality god knows hindsight is great...

Im saying, if the OP knew he was a jackass then dont be suprised when he continues to be a jackass....

LadyBeagleEyes · 18/06/2011 13:21

She was 18 when she met him Bosco. Did you know everything at 18?

Jonnyfan · 18/06/2011 13:24

Report him!

BoscoIsMyLover · 18/06/2011 13:27

I did Lady did you? Grin

Seriously not looking for a bunfight or anything, all Im saying is that, if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck, dont be surprised when it quacks..And when it does, all you can do is (as I am sure the OP and others do) is pick your kids up when they are left down...

And thank Christ every day that he is gone....

Tryharder · 18/06/2011 13:41

I would be reporting him to the benefits agency too. In fact, I would be getting hard evidence as to where and when he works and passing that on. How dare he shortchange his kids. Twat.

MorallyBankrupt · 18/06/2011 13:42

I'm sorry but with Reality it's not really about hindsight is it?! The signs were pretty darn obvious. In my mind a man you doesn't see or support his children is not really a man at all. I would certainly not go around getting pregnant by a man who had other children he wan't supporting and then wonder why he didn't support my children.

As Bosco says.... if it looks like a duck....

Reality · 18/06/2011 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pumpernickel10 · 18/06/2011 15:52

I'd report the workshy fecker if I was you.
Sounds like such a catch doesn't he girls?

JudysJudgement · 18/06/2011 15:59

more fool the women who keep getting pregnant to him

he has a track record, why do they think he will be any different with them and their kids

AngelNanny · 18/06/2011 16:36

I feel for you i really do.

I found out less than 2weeks ago my fiance (now ex) was having an affair for just over a month and that apparently he loves her. She has a 5yr old and an 8week old (2weeks old when they met).
He is now living with her, ignoring his parents and has no contact with me. I am currently 7months pregnant with his son.

Its horribly upsetting and I'm a mess, i was fooled big time but he talks a very good talk. :(

Original poster
juicychops · 19/06/2011 10:54

if anyone is free and has a chance could you please visit my other thread as i really need advice about something that has happened this morning regarding ex www.mumsnet.com/Talk/lone_parents/1240684-ex-has-just-proved-how-fucking-low-he-is-and-on-fathers-day-of-all-days

thanks

OP posts:
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