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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not take my dc into work?

19 replies

workinggally · 13/06/2011 15:06

they keep asking me to. But I'm on maternity leave at moment and it's a bit of a trek (1.5hrs - train then tube) and I can't be bothered lugging him in and all his things to be looked at for a little while. Then to come back home again. Do others take in their new babies to work?

OP posts:
olibeansmummy · 13/06/2011 15:08

When I was on ML I took ds in to meet everyone and I occasionally take him in if I need to get something but my work is only a 10 min drive away so not difficult to get to.

cat64 · 13/06/2011 15:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

onadifferentplanettoday · 13/06/2011 15:25

Maybe they have a nice big pressie for the baby and want to all be there to see you open it!

DontCallMePeanut · 13/06/2011 15:25

YANBU. Either they make the effort to come and see you, or they wait until you're ready.

TheArmadillo · 13/06/2011 15:36

It depends.

If they were really supportive during your pregnancy/brought you a nice present and similar then yes I do think you should make the effort.

If not then I probably wouldn't.

I went in both times (different workplaces) but recent one was closer plus I had to go in anyway to register the birth. The first one was a 60min or so walk (longer cos I was postnatal) but they had been good to me and there were several people who would really want to see the baby.

kaid100 · 13/06/2011 15:46

If they're all really wanting to see him.. why not ask someone to drive and pick you up? Oh, and they'd need to borrow a car seat. Then the ball is in their court.

pumpernickel10 · 13/06/2011 15:48

If they want to see DC let them come to you selfish feckers

Trills · 13/06/2011 15:51

That's a bit harsh pumpernickel! If the OP works 1.5 hours away from her job then it's entirely possible that they live 1.5 hrs in the other direction. Bringing the baby in would mean everyone who works there could see him at once.

I agree with TheArmadillo. Are they supportive/helpful/friendly in general?

pumpernickel10 · 13/06/2011 16:05

But the OP as said she will struggle getting in on and off the tube and as a new mom we all know how that it

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 13/06/2011 16:10

No, don't - not if you don't want to. I didn't want to either (and didn't). I've always found that my de-bumped colleagues picked the worst possible days and times to come in, when everyone's rushing around and stressed and the poor Mum is standing there trying not to get in the way whilst people dodge around the baby.

Why not arrange to meet up with some colleagues nearer to home, for lunch, or something... or would that not work?

I sympathise OP, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. [confusd]

Take them in when they're about 5.. that's the best time. Grin

Trills · 13/06/2011 16:14

I'm not saying she must do it if it is inconvenient or she doesn't want to, I'm saying you are unreasonable to call them selfish feckers.

headfairy · 13/06/2011 16:18

I didn't take either of my dcs in to work after they'd been born. I'm not that keen on it to be honest, I mean, it's not like I'm the first person to ever have a baby, so all this parading around as if saying "look at me, aren't I clever?" feels a bit false.

Bit I'm a bit of a cow, so feel free to ignore if you enjoy travelling on public transport with a young baby only to have work colleagues tell you your pfb doesn't look like you, and having some skinny young thing slink up and make snide comments about losing baby weight. :o

edwinbear · 13/06/2011 17:13

I didn't take DS in when I was on ML. I was asked to but frankly would have felt a bit of a numpty standing around in a dealing room with a baby and everyone cooing over him. I made up excuses around swine flu, which was rampant at the time, and being busy with new mummy mates. Eventually they thankfully stopped asking.

exoticfruits · 13/06/2011 17:18

I was just dying to show him off!!

cunexttuesonline · 13/06/2011 17:22

I took my DS in to work when he was 6mo, but only because I was in for a meeting with my boss and took baby with me.

IME lots of men get pretty pissed off when women do this.

PeppaKew · 13/06/2011 17:33

I didn't bother. Mind you I have only spoken to my boss once over email since the start of my maternity leave...and that was to tell them I was not returning. Smile

I unfortunately didn't have many buddies at work and it was also 1.5 hrs away.

Depends if you genuinely like your colleagues or not I would say.

EssexGurl · 13/06/2011 18:13

I did take DS in to work when on ML but that was to discuss my return - my boss wanted me to take on a new role. I did tie it up with lunch with DH and oldest friend, so saw the work bit as an optional extra. But, I hated it and felt that I was stopping everyone from working when I knew how busy they were. With DD I didn't bother and ended up not going back anyway!

I think if you are commuting into the city then it isn't really expected as much - but if you work around the corner it probably would be more expected.

emptyshell · 13/06/2011 18:27

Look at it this way - you're saving your infertile/miscarriage-laden colleagues from smiling and hiding in the loos!

Original poster
workinggally · 13/06/2011 18:32

thanks for replies - I won't bother then. Didn't like them much anyway and a bit annoying to me while pregnant. Just everytime I get an email from one of them they ask when I'll take him in though may just be being polite. will continue to ignore.

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