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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Present question

45 replies

knittedbreast · 13/06/2011 13:50

I know its too early to discuss the c word (not the famale body part either).

I have two young children who are reaching an age where they are just starting to know christmas.

when you buy pressies for your children do you have a total amount for each (same amount) or do you do it by numbers of pressies for each child?

do you explain to your children that x might only have got 3 gifts but thats cos shes 14 and those 3 cost a fortune.

do you ever feel like spending more on one paricular child? there is alot more choice for my eldest than there is for my youngest. i know the litle one wont mind cos she wont really understand but as they get older might the eldest get dissapointed if he dousnt get as much cos him cost more etc..

dont know if im making sense, just wondered how you get around these things or make hem fair

OP posts:
Original poster
knittedbreast · 13/06/2011 14:28

nope? oh well

OP posts:
Ismeyes · 13/06/2011 14:31

I don't know I have an only, but award to you for the early C thread!

When I was growing up, my parents always spent the same amount on us, but I don't think we noticed really!

IndigoBell · 13/06/2011 15:14

For little kids it's the same number of presents that count.

When they get older (like teenagers) then they can understand the same amount of money concept......

swanker · 13/06/2011 15:19

My children are small- they don't know the cost of anything really, so they just have things they'd like or need. I try to get a similar number as they can both count... but I haven't necessarily spent the same on each- some items may have been 2nd hand, or given to us, or on 3 for 2 etc.

Poogles · 13/06/2011 15:31

We have opened up boxes and wrapped its seperately so they had the same amount of presents. They are 5 + 3 so no idea on value if things.

We have spent more on DS1 in the past but that's because DS2 has already inherited loads from DS1 that we would have bought otherwise.

It is a tricky one that I think we will have to address in the next few years!

pumpernickel10 · 13/06/2011 15:31

Not the C word :(
Its 6 months away.

DD will be 11 so the little presents I can't get away with anymore,last year she had a telly with dvd,I think this year it will be a mini notepad and some horsey goodies as shes recently started riding.

DontCallMePeanut · 13/06/2011 15:35

I buy DS's presents in dribs and drabs throughout the year, but that's probably a) because of when I get paid and b) because his birthday is two weeks after... Hmm

Sorry I can't contribute to the multiple children question, though... :(

pumpernickel10 · 13/06/2011 15:38

So glad I only have DD or I would be broke

Original poster
knittedbreast · 13/06/2011 15:38

thanks for your replies. i have to buy a bit each month to afford xmas at the end of they year so i do have to think about it earley.

Ive been searching for pictures online of peoples home son xmas day or eve with all the pressies roiund the tree!

OP posts:
pumpernickel10 · 13/06/2011 15:42

If I see something I do put it away and hide it in the blanket box in our bedroom.

Firawla · 13/06/2011 15:42

I would just try to do it roughly the same amount/value but i don't think you have to count every penny and go ott on making it match, as long as they all have something nice and its not a huge discrpency of one getting so many expensive things and the other one gets hardly anything then i wouldn't think its a big deal? Through the year I buy stuff when I see it and keep them in cupboard ready for eid (thats when we do presents instead of xmas) so then when its nearly eid i would look through and see if i have a lot more for one than the other i would get some more things for the other or if someone has too much i will hold some back in the cupboard for next time, but my dc are young so they dont really notice/comment about whether someone has more or cost more, and also cos they are similar ages would be sharing anyway.
When i was young me and sis used to get roughly the same kind of stuff, but we never would count and see oh she has got slightly more, maybe cost a bit more etc.. i think that is a bit petty, if my children make a fuss like that i would feel like buying them less as it seems a bit of a spoilt reaction.
As for having a much older and younger one and older having less things but expensive, im sure they will be able to understand that so not such an issue? if your younger ones ask why has older dd got less presents just explain because those are the ones she likes and sometimes you get lots of smaller things and sometimes fewer bigger things? im sure they can understand it

pumpernickel10 · 13/06/2011 15:43

Does this picture help?

www.infobarrel.com/media/image/6018.jpg

Original poster
knittedbreast · 13/06/2011 15:47

pumper--awww, yes that does! looks a bit too perfect though. i like photos of normal peoples homes, ie in rooms like mine!

Firwala, we only celebrate christmas for the dinner/tree/present giving. nothing to do with chrisianity either! i just struggle with what to get my son, i can never be sure what he will like or play with. meh

OP posts:
eurochick · 13/06/2011 15:47

It's fricking June!

pumpernickel10 · 13/06/2011 15:49

I will keep looking knitted

PinotGrigiosKittens · 13/06/2011 15:51

arf at eurochick!

fuzzpigFriday · 13/06/2011 15:52

Well with my DSDs, who are twins, and my DSS, (13 and 19 respectively) we always go with number of presents, unless there is something specific and expensive they really want for xmas and then they understand they would get less to open. But if that's not the case, no we don't specifically spend the same amount. I'm a fairly good bargain hunter and start Xmas shopping as soon as their birthdays have gone (August) so they usually seem much more expensive than they are. There's no point trying to match money spent anyway - sometimes the cheapest thing might be the best received, and it's silly to buy something extra just for the sake of it when it might not be enjoyed.

Our DCs are 3 (4 next week!) and nearly 2, so it has not been an issue so far. DS got a lot less to open than DD as he was only 16 months last xmas. Plus with DD I tend to get her toys that I know will eventually be used by DS as well. DD has more to open for her birthday too this year. I suspect within the next year or two though we will even it up (depending when DS learns to count :o) - again though, it'll be even by number rather than cost.

We are definitely going to start a tradition of getting them a biggish joint gift each xmas though, as they're close in age - this year will be a dressing up box.

Original poster
knittedbreast · 13/06/2011 15:53

much better thank you!

i was a bit dissapointed, i though mn would have had a thread around christmas time with pics of peoples trees ans the gifts around them to peek at, but none.

i wonder if this xmas we might start one...(i say hopefully, looking at the other mners....;)

OP posts:
Pandemoniaa · 13/06/2011 15:55

Much as my inclination is to avoid the "c" word until much nearer December, I'd just say that from experience, when my dcs were small - there was 18 months difference in age between them - they got the same number of similarly priced items.

As they got older and could appreciate the value of presents as well as having more definite ideas about what they wanted, they tended to get what was on their Christmas list of ideas but accepted that if you wanted a single present worth £80, say, yet your brother wanted a series of things that added up to the same price, you'd be unwrapping fewer presents on the day.

The one rule I always stuck with was not to buy what you couldn't afford and never, ever, get into ridiculous debt for one single day of the year.

pumpernickel10 · 13/06/2011 15:58

You can start one knitted as I am very nosy and love looking at crimbo trees I become like a kid then

Original poster
knittedbreast · 13/06/2011 15:59

i would never get into debt over it. i dont have a cc i used, or use an over draft to pay for anything ever. but because of this i have to get gifts in drips and drabs, like wise with our holiday this year, 2 months of living off whatever we could find in our cupboards to eat but it still got us our holiday in the end!

my son is 5 and my daughter is 2, there isnt much available for her but for him, well you could spend hundreds. I just wish i could be sure what they would enjoy for sure...

OP posts:
Original poster
knittedbreast · 13/06/2011 16:00

i love you pumpernickel!!! ;)

well if anyone here has any pictures ....

let me see if i can find one...

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snailoon · 13/06/2011 16:03

Just get them both something they will like very much, and some little jokes/treats if they are young enough to enjoy that. By thinking about money and fairness you are going to teach them to think in a mercenary and competitive way. Just don't think that way. This has never been a problem for us, and the kids have never counted presents.

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