to make him sleep on the sofa...

[StuckInTheMiddleWithYou]

Until he starts pulling his weight around the house?

Or am I cutting my nose off to spite my face?

Incidently, I've talked to him about this until I'm blue in the face.

Make him sleep on a sofa in Ulan Bator.

Make him sleep on the couch after rigging it to the mains....that'll get his arse moving.

Make him sleep on someone else's sofa.

I'm going to guess there's a backstory to this?

How much is he not pulling his weight?

Just stop doing ANY of his stuff. No dinner, no washing, nothing. He'll soon get the idea.

Will not do anything unless promted. Sometimes not even that.

Talks about housework as something "I want him to do for me."

Big argument yesterday about it. Many promises to improve.

Came home today, pigstye.

Ah.

Sofa too good for him.

I suggest shed.

Would you sleep on the sofa if he 'made' you?

Infact, how do you make someone do that?

The bedroom door has a lock so that isn't a problem.

Talking hasn't worked I'm reduced to thinking up some kind of sanction.

You propose making him sleep on the sofa and locking him out of the bedroom? Seriously, if you can't come to an agreement over something without resorting to that sort of thing, you dont have much of a relationship

"Talking hasn't worked I'm reduced to thinking up some kind of sanction." Ah, sorry - i thought you were talking about your husband but you are clearly talking about your teenage son

I know passive, I know.

"I'm more like your bloody mother" has been said.

Just don't do anything for him. No clean clothes, no dinner, see how long he lasts.

My DP is generally a lazy arse when it comes to housework, im a bit slovenly as well but i do the lionshare, i am a SAHM though and he works long hours - no fecking excuse in the weekend though. I coudlnt make him sleep on the sofa though as I can't sleep without him in bed with me, to the extent that i will wait for him to go to bed before i go else i wont sleep - [wuss]

stuckinthemiddle I had a long time in counselling and my counsellor was always going on about the roles we take in life. You are being critical parent and your DP is being naughty child. Your constant "nagging" is fascilitating his childish behaviour. Yeah yeah, i thought it was bollocks too, but it is self perpetuating. You both need to be in adult mode. So dont fall into the old cycle of nagging. Don't be unpleasant but just don't do things for him that he has come to take for granted and then when he moans about it, roll out the critical parent naughty child adult speech and ask him where he thinks you both want to be - let him take responsibility for himself and stop trying to nag him into it as i suspect he is a stubborn fuck and wont budge an inch. You dont want to be in a cold bed all by yourself! :)

That's the most sensible advice I've heard on the subject - I'll give it a try. Cheers.