school car share

[stroller]

i car share with 2 families. I have 3 kids . Family A have 2 kids. Family B have 1 kid. Family A pay a share of the petrol. Family B feel that it is appropriate to contribute 1/6 of the driving. If they were to take the kid to school with no car share they would have to do 100%. Surely the split should be 50/50. This is driving me crazy as I feel that I am being used as the local ( unpaid )taxi. comments please

I think Family B are taking advantage of you. You are doing five-sixths of the trips and they only have to do one in six. I really don't think the number of children in the family makes any difference (so long as there is space in the car) because the journey from home to school (and v.v.) has to be made whether there's one child or three. I also assume all the children are at the same school?

If I were you I'd cut Family B out of the arrangement and just carry on with family A. Do you feel the petrol contribution from Family A is enough?

And I will bet Family B are always a bit late, require more going out of your way etc.

ditch family B, job done

I thought it sounded rather like a maths homework question!

I'd also disregard the number of children per family, and do it on the number of school runs. So each family does 1/3 of the runs. Do you think family A might agree?

Personally I'd say it's 1/3rds each.

But if we are on this topic. I give a lift to a collegue in the morning (no problem, I pick her up on the way) but of an evening it's either, can you take me home/drop me at the doctors/shopping/centre/2nd job premises. She never offers any petrol money and I'm getting a bit pee'd off. Oddly, for someone who is as blunt as me, I just cannot find the form of words to point out she shoud be offering petrol money. At Christmas she buys me a box of Roses and I can't abide chocolate!

I would also say each family should be doing 1/3 of the trips, because whatever the number of children the number of trips stays the same.

If family A give petrol money and never do trips they should pay 50% of petrol costs (or more because they never conribute time)

Family B should receive a kick up the arse and should also contribute petrol money - 35 - 40 % in my opinion.

Or just take your own kids, you won't be any worse off.

Hmmm, difficult. See, if this was babysitting, I would certainly expect more payment from the family who had the most children, and the family with only one child would be totally reasonable to pay less. But I think it's maybe different in this circumstance.

I think dandyGilver has the maths right. It's the journey that needs to be divided - Family B are treating this as if they have a 'seat' on public transport. The thing is how can you raise this? Would you miss 1/6 of the journeys being covered? I would say that it's no longer convenient for them to do 1/6 of the journeys, you need to do all (can't think of a good reason for the moment) so if they want to stay in car pool do they want to contribute to 1/3 petrol costs or drop out altogether?

TroisGarcons Tedious though it is I think you might have to start becoming unreliable and busy - ie you need to go to x y and z after work on the way home so which station/bus stop should you drop her at or does she not mind waiting in the car for an hour or so while you get stuff done.

There are 2 bits here which makes it a bit complicated - 1) the petrol money and wear and tear on the car and 2) the fuss and time of getting the children into school

1. costs should be spilt in my view per family
2. time, eg number of trips maybe you should do the actual trips a bit more often as you have more children

How far is it BTW and how old are the children

"number of trips maybe you should do the actual trips a bit more often as you have more children"
Why? The journey has to be made whether you have one child or 5. If amily B are dropped form the arrangement they're going to have to do 6/6 trips, plus 100% of their own petrol.
YANBU. But I'm a wimp when it comes to stuff like this so no idea how you should broach it with them.

because of the fuss of getting the kids in and out of the car and to the right place, with the right stuff etc -and crowd control in the car.
depends on the age of the children of course and how long the journey is - but I have to say I wouldn't be that keen on taking 6 children around all that often if only one of them was mine -
I still think OP however that YNBU in wanting it to be fairer than it currently is

unless everyone is doing the same number of journeys, then the costs should be split evenly by family.

You are losing what - an hour a day fetching and carrying their children, plus the wear and tear on your car, the increase in insurance (one assumes you have the correct insurance to carry these kids?)

If they dont like it, they can start taking their own kids to school.

Perhaps family B could start doing 10 school runs a week for their child B and see whether they prefer that to the current arrangement?

Why can't you all just take turns. You should not be asking for money in the first place as it will invalidate your insurance and you are NOT a taxi.

One week one familly takes all the kids, then the next week another familly take it on.
So for one week one familly or two get to save on petrol. If you are all going to the same school, it makes perfect sense to take just one car.
Just leave money out of it.

so long as you are not making a profit I don't think there is a problem with asking for money re insurance etc

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Argh! school lift sharing can be a nightmare! I feel for you! We took a child to school every day for 2 years going out of our way each morning etc. Childs mother didn't drive so it was never a "lift share" just a taxi service from me! They never gave any money for petrol or even a bunch of flowers as a thank you...it was just assumed that as we were going that way we'd take the child...who was a grumpy little madam to make matters even more pleasent! It was an hours round trip so not round the corner to school either :( In the end I finally lost it (a bit!) and said I wasn't doing it any more...they were not happy.
If you can then try and make sure its an even split because you'll drive yourself up the wall with this current unfair lift share. Hope you manage to sort it out :)

I currently lift share with the lady down the road. We've done it sucessfully for 4 years now. We have another 3 years to go, with our youngest who are in the same class.

I do mornings, they do afternoons.

Next year, I will do school X and they will do school Y - juniors and seniors.

We also make sure neither of us every feel burdened, so when there is a disaster - like me breaking my arm - there was no ill will about them doing both runs for a month. Next month she goes in for an op, and I will do the mums taxi bit for the rest of the year, no problem.

They key is making sure everyone does their bit and no one feels they are being taken for mug.

Id tell both families that you are not happy to continue the current arrangements as your TIME is precious too - its not just about the money, but having to delay your morning by at least 1/2 hour and spend your afternoons clock watching. Suggest a rota where you do one run in three...how your or ganise it is up to you, but eg you do Mondays and tuesdays pickup and drop off and every third Friday. Or week by week, as previously suggested.

Maybe make some discrete enquiries with other mums about the possibility of a more equitable lift share, and if your current families dont want to play fair, just jump in with someone who will.

If they dont even want to give you a decent anmount of petrol money, they are hardly your mates.