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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

l am seriously ranting

25 replies

chickychick · 09/06/2011 18:19

l am seriously fuming just rang ex to see if he could pick eldest up from uni on tuesday he said no he can't it would have to be at weekend bearing in mind he is leaving the country at the end of the month and will not be seeing the girls or having any part of there everyday lives not that he did when we were married yet he could take days off to pick his slut up when she came to visit rant rant

OP posts:

Cocoflower · 09/06/2011 18:21

What was his reason? Was it valid?

K9999 · 09/06/2011 18:22

YABU to call any other woman a slut, regardless of how you feel about your ex.

YANBU to be angry that your ex can't spare time for his daughters.

Sirzy · 09/06/2011 18:22

A) surely if your eldest needs picking up from uni she is old enough to arrange getting home herself

B) why should he drop everything with a few days notice for something that isn't an emergency?

fuckmepinkandcallmerosie · 09/06/2011 18:23

Hands to chicky and bangs head in frustration at the notion that even when they go to uni it isn't any better

TheFlyingOnion · 09/06/2011 18:24

depends why he said no, really, and how urgent/important it was.

Doesn't sound like you've given him much notice though....

Bluemoonrising · 09/06/2011 18:29

Why should he have to give a reason? He's an adult, he should be allowed to say no, that doesn't suit, without having to answer to anyone. He has offered an alternative that suits him. Your daughter seems to be old enough to arrange her own transport, before she's at Uni, why should he drop everything? On a Tuesday? At short notice? He probably needs to work.

I think YABU

Original poster

chickychick · 09/06/2011 18:30

He knew she was due home any day she can't make her own way as it is 465 miles she has loads luggage you know what students are like !! she has aspergers and finds it very difficult with situations on trains busses at the best of time soz dont know what YABU means and yeah she is a slut and so is he he did/would not give reason

OP posts:

Bluemoonrising · 09/06/2011 18:32

When I was a student I had to make my way home under my own steam. It was several hundred miles and involved overseas travel. With all my stuff.

You sound angry and disagreeable. He has offered to collect her, when he can. If thats not acceptable to you, maybe you should head over there and help her get home.

Sirzy · 09/06/2011 18:33

In that case why don't you go for her if she can't wait until he is available?

Original poster

chickychick · 09/06/2011 18:54

Oh l will at least she has one parent that is there for her and yes l am angry very angry l think any parent would be when the other parent is not there for there child look this is just the tip of the iceberg with him l just wanted a rant and thanks for listening l suppose my visit to sti clinic to get checked today has not helped married 22 years l was the loyal faithful wife and found out he having affair chucked him out so yeah l am angry soz

OP posts:

TheFlyingOnion · 09/06/2011 19:11

its sounds like you hate him and he can't do right for doing wrong, to be honest...

yanbu to be pretty pissed off at him generally, by the sounds of it, but yab a bit u about the lift thing.

Are you looking for reasons to rant at him at the moment?

spiderslegs · 09/06/2011 19:12

& you went to the STI clinic because???

Of him?

Have you recently separated?

atswimtwolengths · 09/06/2011 19:33

Oh come on, all you who think a student can get home on public transport with all the stuff from their room!

They have to take pots and pans, crockery, a kettle, a toaster, a duvet, all their books, never mind their clothes.

How the hell is anyone meant to carry that home?

Just because some of you went to university years ago when you just had a couple of suitcases, doesn't mean that's what it's like now!

K999 · 09/06/2011 19:37

I think you are being slightly unreasonable.

And AIBU to discover another poster with pretty much the same name as mine and be miffed?

cat64 · 09/06/2011 19:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheFlyingOnion · 09/06/2011 19:39

ooh K999 I thought you'd namechanged!

Id be miffed!!

atswimtwolengths · 09/06/2011 19:39

I think if the child wants a lift, she has to wait until someone is free. Most people can't pick up in the middle of the week.

Just thinking, I would hate to do that journey twice!

K999 · 09/06/2011 19:48

TFO...think I may have to name change now!

Cocoflower · 09/06/2011 20:05

Although Im not sure if he had a valid reason I can see you be angry on the accounts that he is still equally responsible for his children too and cant just shirk of now your not together.

I also would have thought as he has only weeks left with his children I thought he would be grabbing every chance to spend time with them.

Graciescotland · 09/06/2011 20:23

I used to courier my stuff from uni to home it's actually really cheap was about eighty quid for about 100kg packed into 7 boxes which in comparison to a round trip might be worthwhile and then your DD can travel light.

Original poster

chickychick · 09/06/2011 22:39

Yes Cocoflower l know if l was leaving the country l would want to spend every last minute but hey it will be his consciouns (sp) the halls of residence closes sat but has a meeting with student support on monday so staying at a friends soffa but they also going home tues l am not making excuses but she does find things difficult with aspergers and also with the marriage break up it was so sudden . Yeah l had to go to the sti clinic because of him finally admitting sleeping with her whilst we were still together first he swore they were only facebooking emailing texting they never met etc but now admits it

OP posts:

Cocoflower · 09/06/2011 23:09

Its the heartbreak you feel for you children really snt it? Its like they are number two on the list now, almost dispensible. He should be doing all he can to show her he is still there for her and always will be.

Original poster

chickychick · 09/06/2011 23:31

Thank you cocoflower that was what l was trying to get at but ended up ranting on here and not making my point very clear that is all l want

OP posts:

Cocoflower · 09/06/2011 23:33

I hope things get better chicky for your family

Original poster

chickychick · 09/06/2011 23:43

Thanks Cocoflower you take care too thanks for understanding what l was trying to say but not doing it very well

OP posts:

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