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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It involves MIL & Chicken Pox!

27 replies

skintagain · 31/05/2011 20:15

DD got chicken pox on Friday. My SIL (who has had it - 23 yo) was due to babysit Saturday night. MIL said she shouldn't come as DD could give it to SIL who could then pass it on to MIL who 'has a bit of a cold', and doesn't want it as she's going away next week Hmm (oh and she also had chicken pox as a child).

She's an Ex nurse and her knowledge on this subject seems based on heresay and conjecture.

Also I'm disappointed that SIL couldn't say 'Mum I'm 23 and I'm not going to catch it so I'm going to babysit for my DN'

But obvioulsy I'm disappointmed that I missed a rare night out. I've been stewing about this for long enough.

MN jury who's being unreasonable??

OP posts:
ratspeaker · 31/05/2011 20:29

If your MIL and SIL have already had chicken pox they wont catch it again

Nor will being exposed to a child with chicken pox give them singles

so MIL BU

it could that SIL doesnt want to babysit a poorly child, THAT I could understand

xstitch · 31/05/2011 20:30

Difficult, personally I don't like going out if dd isn't well.

Your MIL, the way she is talking, doesn't seem to have that much knowledge. However it is possible to catch chicken pox twice. I do think it was up to your SIL to make the decision about babysitting as she is herself an adult so not being unreasonable on that bit.

Original poster
skintagain · 31/05/2011 20:34

xstitch - I know what you mean but DD was/is fine. She isn't even itchy. She's completely herself, just spotty. She would have been in bed when SIL arrived. I was going 2 mins away so could have been back really quickly (not drinking) if I'd been needed.

OP posts:
canyou · 31/05/2011 20:34

Is your MIL on any medication ie steriods etc as this would mean she is susceptible to the virus [shingles is caused by the same virus] I have a relative and she avoids all DC like the plague if they have chicken pox in particular as she works with the elderly.
Sad you missed your night out can you re plan? Hope your DD is felling better soon and you get a break/night out soon.

xstitch · 31/05/2011 20:35

canyou shingles is caused by the same virus but you cannot catch shingles from CP only the other way round.

Original poster
skintagain · 31/05/2011 20:37

canyou - I wondered if there was some 'medical' issue we weren't aware of, but the idea that SIL could catch it from DD (in bed), and then take it home with her seems far fetched.

The night out is just cooking with friends, we all take it in turns, so it'll come round again, and DH will be here anyway, so I'll get a go soon Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
skintagain · 31/05/2011 20:38

I work with the elderly, but it never crossed my mind that I could 'carry' it. I've had it so I'm immune. Isn't that how it works (selfdoubt emoticon)

OP posts:
canyou · 31/05/2011 20:40

Skintagain, Ratspeaker is right that you would not give them shingles but they may get chicken pox which is not good for the elderly also as she unfortunately found out she was blamed for a shingles out break in the home when her DD had chicken pox at the same time.

sunnyday123 · 31/05/2011 20:41

if your DD got chicken pox on friday my understanding is she would have been infectious for the past 2 weeks so if they have seen her in the past 2 weeks its too late anyway isnt it?

takethisonehereforastart · 31/05/2011 20:41

I've had chicken pox twice.

I had it once when I was about six and then again when I was twenty-six. I was already run down and had tonsillitis when I caught it for the second time but it is possible even though I think it is rare (and unlikely if your SIL is in good health and not likely to be in the same room as your DD for very long.)

Mabelface · 31/05/2011 20:42

You can catch chickenpox more than once! I've had it twice, the second time at the grand old age of 32.

canyou · 31/05/2011 20:42

It should work like that with immunity but I have had it twice once as an adult which was really unpleasant so Confused and it seems I have no immunity to it according to Dr so Confused Confused

PotPourri · 31/05/2011 20:42

You can get it more than once. I know someone who has had it 5 times, for some reason just doesn't build immunity to it - they have tested her immunity right after the 5th time, she's not immune.

Sounds like SIL couldn't be bothered that night. Shame, but her choice really. YANBU but neither is she if she didn't want to look after a poorly child. MIL should butt out however

choirmum · 31/05/2011 20:43

You can't catch shingles. You carry the virus in your nerve endings after you've had chickenpox and it can re-activate as shingles numerous times. You can catch chickenpox from someone with shingles if you haven't previously been exposed. I believe some people have had chickenpox more than once but it would be ridiculous (if not impossible) to avoid all future contact. It would be virtually impossible for someone who's already had chickenpox to 'carry' it back to someone else who's also had chickenpox.

xstitch · 31/05/2011 20:45

Most people who have had CP are immune. The HPA don't consider it necessary to keep siblings of CP sufferers off school unless they have symptoms so I don't think it would be necessary for you to stay away from work unless you became unwell obviously. CP is considered a notifiable disease on oil rigs etc and I have been told that the health and safety executive don't expect the parents of children with CP to stay away from their next time away so don't worry about it. Hope your dd is better soon.

xstitch · 31/05/2011 20:47

'unfortunately found out she was blamed for a shingles out break in the home when her DD had chicken pox at the same time.' That's ridiculous canyou, how did her boss get away with that?

badmummy101 · 31/05/2011 20:51

sorry to piss on your chips but you can get it more than once.

canyou · 31/05/2011 20:56

Small private home, very ill clients, a lot said in the heat of the moment and the need to blame some one, it caused a lot of upset and hurt feelings. Elderly people like to gossip and assign blame.
New rule of reporting contact with communicable disease and not working directly with clients during potential incubation period lasted until it became impossible to fill the care roster and fit everyone else into the office.

Original poster
skintagain · 31/05/2011 21:01

Ooh interesting posts. I've just spoken to an authority on the subject (my Dad) that choirmum is correct.

You 'cause' your own outbreak if you get it again. It's not a new infection. So no, my DD wouldn't infect anyone who's already had it.

OP posts:
xstitch · 31/05/2011 21:03

But canyou it is impossible for her contact with CP to have caused shingles in anybody and each case of shingles could not have caused shingles in somebody else.

Original poster
skintagain · 31/05/2011 21:03

I'd be laughed out of the hospital if I said I wasn't coming into work (hospital) as my DD had CP, and I might infect the clients. canyou - sounds like your mum was completely scapegoated (is that even a word? Confused)

OP posts:
xstitch · 31/05/2011 21:05

I agree skin . canyou I honestly believe your mum had grounds for complaint.

I did once know of a care assistant who came to work with shingles there was a problem when one of the patients contracted CP but that is slightly different.

canyou · 31/05/2011 21:10

I don't know Skintagain, she got a few paid days off out of it. They may be a bit be grateful you have a job and put up with the crap here but at least they pay wages in full when they put you off work.
Also what about you coming home to your DC and family with communicable illness? Could you quarantine yourself in the bath with a book and wine?

canyou · 31/05/2011 21:13

xstich, not in UK and tbh she has a job that pays for health and dental insurance, premium pay and fairly good hrs, so the job was worth more then the hassle at the time IYSWIM.

Original poster
skintagain · 31/05/2011 21:14

I'm not sure I understand the question canyou - do you mean could I quarrantine myslef away from my DC whilst they're ill? ifrickenwish no, not really. ALthough they're in bed now and I have my Wine

My DS doesn't even have it yet, so we could be in for a few more weeks of fun yet!

OP posts: