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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how to deal with this...

20 replies

hanaka88 · 26/05/2011 18:04

My DS is autistic as well as other problems. He has a disabled badge which we need as he will leg it into roads and regularly has meltdowns and is hard o move. At school I park in the disabled bay when it breakfast club but not later on at pick up as there are other children in wheelchairs, at this time I bring DS's SN buggy.

But regularly in the mornings mums are parking in the disabled spaces when they have no badge and sending kids into school alone...

Recently I have been left waiting and been late for work because of these 2 women... What do I do? I have been quie about it and just waited but now I feel anxious in a morning about being late.

How can I ask them without sounding horrible?

OP posts:

LooloosMummy · 26/05/2011 18:09

ask the school to put in their newsletter a poliet note about not parking in the disabled bay as there are students at the school who's parents actually use it.

MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 26/05/2011 18:09

Could you ask the school to say something?

Or perhaps, ask the ladies parking in the spaces to sign a petition to request more disabled parking spaces....as clearly there are not enough for actual badge holders everyone.

This suggestion would shame them into not using the spaces again...

LooloosMummy · 26/05/2011 18:10

actually need to use it, sorry missed a couple of words, that'll teach me to preview.

worraliberty · 26/05/2011 18:10

Complain to the Head

lettinggo · 26/05/2011 18:12

Could you have a word with the school and ask them to contact the community policeman? This worked in my school when parents were parking in the disabled spot, probably thinking they were only pulling in for one minute to let their child out of the car. People don't realise that by pulling in for that one minute means you miss out on parking in the spot.

Or, if you're not afraid of confrontation, you could put on your indicator and beep if you see them in the spot. You're entitled to the spot and probably have enough on your plate each morning without having to worry about this.

Original poster

hanaka88 · 26/05/2011 18:12

Well the thing is the school have aske and have so many problems that later on they shut the gates and the caretaker opens it for the disabled cars as the parents don't seem to care/ read the letter. But they can't do this at 8 as it is also the staff car park and staff are coming into work at this time.

OP posts:

onedayiwillflyaway · 26/05/2011 18:14

Honestly? I would say something directly to them. Perfectly politely but I would definitely approach them direct or I might send ex H to do it, he loves confrontation. I have an ASD child and cannot get a disabled badge for love nor money. The amount of parking tickets I have had.......>. Pretty hard to get and you should be getting maximum benefit from having it. Selfish Twats.

Original poster

hanaka88 · 26/05/2011 18:14

Lettinggo... I could beep but I feel a bit rubbish about it... Also some mums jump out and take their kids in so I am waiting till they come out of school. I have ended up going early and trying to control DS as he screams to be let out...

OP posts:

Original poster

hanaka88 · 26/05/2011 18:16

Oneday I didn't think I would but I got reports from EVERYONE Inc behaviour specialists that said I just couldn't cope without one. Which... If you have ever seen me in the middle of town carrying DS while being punched and kicked and bitten is true :(

OP posts:

Original poster

hanaka88 · 26/05/2011 18:17

What is a really polite way of wording it? Something like excuse me.... But we really need the spot?

OP posts:

pingu2209 · 26/05/2011 18:21

MMMMMM it is a hard one. If the school have already sent a note out in book bags about it. I think you will need to speak to the head and ask him to stand outside in the morning to keep watch over the disabled space. I would do this before approaching the women directly.

The thing is, and to be honest I am also sometimes guilty of it, we are all busy in the morning and the attitude is "but I'm only a minute, I'm not parking here I'm just dropping off".

My mum lived very close to a primary school and her road was completely residential parking only. However, the mums still parked in the road and their view was "but I'm only here a few mins."

One mum parked across my mum's drive way so my mum came out and politely asked her to move as they didn't want to be blocked in. The woman in the car did move but not without a lot of eye rolling and big sighs.

However, my mum did tell me of one day the school had a policeman moving cars on and refusing to let them park/stop at all. One mum had a huge blazing row with the police man. All over parking!!!! She was arrested for breaking the peace.

pingu2209 · 26/05/2011 18:22

I would ask the Head to do it one morning - not every morning. Hopefully that will get the message through to the specific women who are doing it.

LadyOfTheManor · 26/05/2011 18:22

WHy do it politely? Tell them to move because they aren't blue badge holders.

aliceliddell · 26/05/2011 18:24

Yes, that 'only for one minute' thing. There used to be somewhere that did windscreen stickers for offending vehicles, but where? Or print your own and put them under the wipers. (Example - would you like the disability that goes with this parking space, they only come as a set)

Original poster

hanaka88 · 26/05/2011 19:10

I do need to approach them your right... It's one woman who I know will say 'well I'll be late for work' because she walks her kid into the foyer then asks everyone else to watch him and then leaves for work before school is open... One mum at school said I should park over her car and block her in but I would be blocking access to staff parking if I did that

OP posts:

lettinggo · 26/05/2011 19:17

I don't know about where you are, but here (in Ireland) the school has no authority over how people park outside the school if it is not a school car park. Our head does sometimes do an intimidating walk outside, but she actually has no authority to move anyone out of the spot. That's why she contacts the community policeman if there's any complaints from parents.

I just reread one of your posts. It's a school car park, yes? Then the police won't come as it is private property but surely either the head or caretaker could take action? I'd expect them to.

Do you know the other mothers at the school? Or the parents' association?At my ds's school, there was a similar problem and a group of mothers from the parents' association came out every morning for weeks to keep people off the no park zone (not a disabled spot but is for the school buses to pull in at). Worked well, as far as I know. Noone wants a confrontation with a group of righteous mothers at that hour of the morning.

You need to get this sorted. you need that spot. They just don't know or understand what a difference it makes to your routine not to be able to park there.

If all else fails, could you talk directly to them? Chances are they're just chancers, and just don't understand the consequences of them parking there. Hard to do, I know, but you need that spot, they don't, and they shouldn't be there so they are in the wrong.

Blu · 26/05/2011 19:19

It isn't the Head's job to act as car park attendant in the vicinity.

I would ask her politely and directly - say "excuse me, you probably hadn't realised, but as a Blue Badge holder, I need to use this space at pick up and drop off time - hope that's OK!"

If she does it again I would contact your local council parking department and say that due to misuse of the space by none BB holders you are unable to get your son in and out of the car at school pick up and drop off times - give them the exact time that the problem occurs. In our borough they come round with one of those little camera cars and swoop on people parking on the yellow zig zags.

It is your right to use the bay if no other BB holder is using it.
It is the Council's responsibility to monitor and enforce parking restrictions
She has no right to be there!

Maybe the Head could contact the local council too - but I'm not sure why the head shold be outside acting as parking attendant!

lettinggo · 26/05/2011 19:26

Blu, I wonder, though, as it is a school's car park and not a public car park , if the local council has any authority on private property?

Original poster

hanaka88 · 26/05/2011 21:30

I will definately say something if the same thing happens tomorrow! Thanks everyone. Heads are busy and parking is such a huge issue at school! Not just DS's I'm sure. The head already has community police doing drop ins but there will always be parents. I hope they are just chancers and won't shout at me for saying something! Wish me luck.

Thanks so much for the advice

OP posts:

Blu · 27/05/2011 11:58

Oh, sorry - I hadn't realised it was in the school car park - not paying attention.

In that case I would still tell the woman politely but directly and make a bIG fuss with the school - perhaps ask the School Secretary to write a note to the person concnerned, rather than a general book bag letter? If it's a school car park and the BB space is iontended for disabled pupils then the school really should defend that.

Sorry - Keep with the plot, Blu!

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