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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To lie about friends being christened so that i can have them as my childrens godparents?

213 replies

ImChangingMyNameToDaddy · 09/05/2011 22:08

I have booked my 2 boys Christening today for this year.

I have 6 people in line to be Godparents. My two best friends, 2 mutual Friends and a couple who babysat me as a young un and i babysat her boys when they were young.

BUT my two best friends are not christened and we dont think our mutual friends are either - waiting on replies from them.

I filled in the christening booking form today at the Church and when it asked about Godparents, i said No and ? to the ones that we dont know about and are sure they havent being christened?

AIBU to ring the church and tell them they have being christened or would they find out? The lady at church today said they check to see if godparents are christened - but my cousins who had their babies christened last year said 2 of their godparents (each) were not christened and the church never said anything or got back to them about it. I feel silly and stupid now for saying no and ? instead of YES

And to top it off everyone who i have told about the christening have commented on the date saying ''oh wont forget that date'' The christening is booked for September 11th :|

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 09/05/2011 22:10

Two of DDs Godparents aren't Christened and the church didn't bat an eyelid - and they were pretty strict about other things (we had to attend 'classes' etc before they'd Christen DD and they wanted the Godparents to attend with us!)

cazzybabs · 09/05/2011 22:10

Is it a legal requirement for god parents to be Christened ... but I suspect if you lie about it who is going to know (except God)

compo · 09/05/2011 22:10

Well for me christenings are about introducing your children to christainity
so a godparent would spiritually guide your child through life and therefore would have to be christened

Original poster
ImChangingMyNameToDaddy · 09/05/2011 22:10

Sorry wrong board :( Have asked for it to be moved :)

OP posts:
LeonardNimoy · 09/05/2011 22:11

Yes, YABU. If they are not chistened then presumably they are not practising christians? This makes a mockery of the whole christening. It is supposed to be about welcoming the child into the church. I hate this thing people have about getting their child christened and then never setting foot in a church for the rest of their lives. Why bother?

Original poster
ImChangingMyNameToDaddy · 09/05/2011 22:13

Well the church seemed very strict about it but my cousins say it was ok for them.

OP posts:
LeonardNimoy · 09/05/2011 22:15

Yes, but why are you getting your child christened? I am not a christian by the way. But am at a loss as to why so many non-christians get their kids christened

scurryfunge · 09/05/2011 22:17

Why lie about anything?

GussetBleacher · 09/05/2011 22:17

I'm with Leonard, it seems very weird to bother with the whole Christening thing if you don't take it seriously.

My DS is not getting baptised or christened because I don't practice any religion, I would feel like a complete fraud if I did what you're considering doing.

QBEE · 09/05/2011 22:18

Why would you have god parents that are not practising christianity? What is the point? Do you believe in God and practise Christianity? If not then why not just have a naming ceremony or such Confused

YABU

chicletteeth · 09/05/2011 22:18

LeonardNimoy that makes no sense at all.

I was christened and I'm an atheist! But because I've been christened, would that be ok?

These people may well be practising Christians but have not yet been christened.

If you believe in this stuff, then only God will know and really, would it matter?

chicletteeth · 09/05/2011 22:19

Have a naming ceremony OP!
Sounds a bit more suitable really and the humanist society have got some great people to lead this celebration.

KD0706 · 09/05/2011 22:19

If you don't mind me asking why are you having your dc christened? If it's because you want them raised in a Christian way and want the god parents to guide them along a Christian path, then surely you want reasonably active Christian god parents? If your chosen god parents fit this criteria but just aren't christened themselves I'm sure the church will be ok about that.

Maybe speak to your priest/vicar?

When we had DD baptised, our priest knew I attended church but DH didn't and he gave DH different things to say during the service, so that DH wasn't promising to guide DD in the Christian faith (basically so that DH didn't lie to god)

Hope that makes some sense!!

maxpower · 09/05/2011 22:20

I'm not christened but I am a godparent. I saw no contradiction as my job is basically to make sure his parents get him confirmed. I don't hace to share or practice their beliefs in order to fulfill that.

LeonardNimoy · 09/05/2011 22:21

It does make sense - it's about what the god parents are promising to do as part of their role in the childs upbringing. And if the proposed god parents are not christened, then it seems likely they are not practising christians.

chicletteeth · 09/05/2011 22:23

No it doesn't seem that way at all.
They may not have been christened as children and may never have got round to it as adults but may now go to church regularly and believer in god and all the teachings of the bible.

No christian I know, would say you were less of a believer because you hadn't been christened.

marzipananimal · 09/05/2011 22:23

LeonardNimoy loads of practising christians aren't christened. Christening only happens in the church of england

ScarletOHaHa · 09/05/2011 22:23

I suspect you are not a regular church goer. I am not sure what religion you are. MY DC was baptised in a catholic ceremony and we required 1 in 3 God Parents to be baptised.

HellNoSayItAintSo · 09/05/2011 22:24

So you want to celebrate your children joining a church by lying to that church, ignoring the ideals of both the ceremony and the faith, and by having godparents that are all ineligable for the job?

Why would anyone do that? Hmm

I'm guessing not a catholic church?

gemmummy · 09/05/2011 22:24

I am a godparent but not christened myself.....I am an atheist, however there are some aspects of being a 'godparent' that I believe. I use the word godparent because it's a commonly used term, not what I choose. My nephew is my 'godchild' and I see my responsibility as basically being there to look after him and guide him, and if the worst should happen, take him in and bring him up. I would do so with pleasure. His family are catholic, I found the ceremony quite hard as I do not believe but I did it because for my own selfish reasons I wanted it recognised that I would take care of him.

marzipananimal · 09/05/2011 22:24

or maybe some other denominations too actually but loads of christians aren't christened

Shakirasma · 09/05/2011 22:24

Erm, not very in keeping with Christian principles to lie!

In response to another poster, I fail to see how being christened as a baby has any bearing on your religious practices as an adult. I know many people who practice Christianity and lead a very Christian life but were not christened.

Also, it's c of e which generally does christenings. Other denominations, Methodist etc, dedicate but do not christen. Yet are just as much a part of practicing Christianity as Anglican

KD0706 · 09/05/2011 22:24

maxpower the service in which your god child was christened must have been different from DD's
With us, the priest asked various questions along the lines of 'will you raise her in the Christian faith and guide her along the path of christ' and myself and the god parents responded with 'with the help of god we will'

There's so much more to following the path of Christ than just being confirmed.

ilovemyhens · 09/05/2011 22:26

Yes, YABU Angry

You are just having them 'christened' for the pretty ceremony. None of you are practising Christians or intend to raise your boys as Christians, so why bother with this obvious farce? The ceremony will be empty and have no meaning.

Have a naming ceremony instead.

Original poster
ImChangingMyNameToDaddy · 09/05/2011 22:28

I know about baptism now, it wasnt until i had children that i realised what baptism really meant.

I was always brought up on the belief that a God Parent was there to care for you after a tragic event like a parent passing iykwim?

I want my boys to be christened because we want them to be christened, the people who i have chosen to become God Parents are close to us all and i want my boys knowing that they have these people in their life that they can go to as a second parent if you like - you know like when they are growing up and they feel like they cant talk to anyone - let alone parents. So hoping thatthese god parents can help them like we can as parents iykwim?

That is the way me and DH feel about our god parents.

OP posts: