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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel guilty about lift share?

15 replies

Bluebell99 · 02/04/2011 23:22

My dh took my ds and friends ds to scout camp. She also wanted us to bring her ds back tomorrow as she needs to be elsewhere with her other child and her dh doesn't drive. We live in a rural area, and I want to go out in the morning and then on somewhere else afterwards, and not have to either take friend's dh to pick up or return to our town to drop her child off when we want to be going in another direction. If we were just coming straight back of course it would be fine. Now her dh not driving is my problem! We have already taken him there. He doesn't drive because he doesn't want too. Very rural area and difficult to get there without a car.

OP posts:

Awhiteelephantintheroom · 02/04/2011 23:25

Did you agree to give her son lifts when the camp was arranged or was it just sprung on you? If the latter then no, YANBU, your friend will have to re-arrange her plans and pick her child up herself. If the former then YABU

Grabaspoon · 02/04/2011 23:26

YANBU - If she had to be somewhere tomorrow she should have driven them today

Gooseberrybushes · 02/04/2011 23:31

Just say no. She'll manage, she might have to pick him up early or get someone to take the other child. But family sundays are rare and precious.

BeerTricksPotter · 02/04/2011 23:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MorticiaAddams · 02/04/2011 23:39

YANBU. She should have offered to take them if she couldn't do the return lift so she'll have to either arrange for somebody else to pick him or somebody else to ferry her other child.

abbierhodes · 02/04/2011 23:40

I think whether or not YABU hinges on whether you had already said you'd do it. If you said you would and have changed your mind then YABU. If not, YANBU.

PelvicFloorsOfSteel · 02/04/2011 23:40

I thought a lift share was where one of you did the drop off and another the pick up? Unless she's doing something else for you it's a bit cheeky expecting you to do both ways, not your responsibility her DH doesn't drive.

However if you had already agreed to it then you should do it as there's nothing worse than being left in the lurch at the last minute.

FabbyChic · 02/04/2011 23:41

Just tell her you are picking him up and going out after and won't be coming back towards home, it's the truth, really isn't your responsibility, and as others have said a lift share is just that, someone drops off, someone else picks up.

Original poster

Bluebell99 · 03/04/2011 10:40

No, it was sprung on me. She is quite scatty, so asked last minute if we could bring him back. When I said, we were going on elsewhere, she asked if I could give her dh a lift there and they wkd make on way back. But that would mean hanging around here to get her dh, whereas we need to go elsewhere first. She did offer to take, but my dh was happy to. I am feeling a bit guilty tho, as feel I should change my plans to fit her dh. Actually this camp has pissed me off anyway, as he needed to be there at 11 sat and collected 1230 sun, which messes up both days really for the rest ofvthe family.

OP posts:

Happylander · 03/04/2011 10:45

YANBU. You have plans and want to do something with her day. She should really be changing her plans as it is her son. Stick to your guns it is their problem and not yours.

Zippylovesgeorge · 03/04/2011 11:39

TBH even after a 24 hour camp - you won't want to take your DS anywhere other than home straight away - there's a special scout camp smell that they acquire ;)

violethill · 03/04/2011 11:48

It's not a lift share is it, because she's not sharing the driving at all.

Just explain that you have other plans.

ChaoticAngelofDenial · 03/04/2011 12:30

YANBU Either her DH needs to learn to drive or she needs to change her plans.

charmum3 · 03/04/2011 12:39

be honest with her, also don't offer lifts

stealthcat · 03/04/2011 12:49

How is it a lift share if she isnt doing anything?

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