for wanting to take piss on school application form

[AliGrylls]

I have just received a school application form for our local independent prep school. Get this:-

They have asked for a passport size photo of our son (who is 3 months old);
Want to know mine and DH's occupation;
Asks for mine and DH's rank and title.

I am tempted to put a photo of kermit the frog or some other ridiculous character (I mean seriously it is a strange request); put in that my occupation is a stripper and saying that my title is "madammm".

Are all private schools up themselves like this? It is meant to be a really good school which is why I asked for the application but it sounds so not like my kind of place.

I'm sure DS will get in on his merits, when the time comes. I'm not sure but afaik you don't have to apply this early as they do assessments before they start, not before iyswim??

They probably use the same form for entry at any stage, but yes it's pretty daft for a baby. But if it doesn't sound like your kind of place, it likely isn't!

Apparently in our area you do - I have checked where DS1 is "on their list" who I put on soon after he was born and he is at number 140 so at this rate will not even get an interview.

I guess it is a bit of a welcome to the world of what schooling stuff is going to be like.

You should do exactly as you suggested. There is a "late book" at Child's school that I know they never check as I have left ridiculous "reasons" for rolling in about an hour after everyone else.

Some of my favourites:

Because I am a fish

I am extremely hungover

I was trying to mimic the Headmistresses boufant hairstyle but it took too long and I failed...bad times

The lollipop lady assaulted me for half an hour

Sometimes it's fun to play with the school staff

Trousers

Seriously though, why are they asking all that? As long as you pay the fees, it's none of their damn business.

Do make sure you look at all the possible schools in your area, state as well as independent. Not all private schools are "up themselves", but they generally do want to know about your occupation etc. You may find there are others in your area that don't seem quite so obsessive. Or that your local state schools are nice anyway!

"As long as you pay the fees, it's none of their damn business" - but they are still selective. You might think you just have to turn up and pay them money, but good ones in many areas will have more applicants than places.

See, when I read the title I actually thought you meant to literally pee on the form

Good advice muminscotland, I have started looking into other schools in the area. Just spoke to one nice sounding one that said there was not waiting list for 2013 yet. The lady I spoke too sounded really normal. I like normal.

I was looking at schools the other day and one of them wanted to know how much your house is worth!!

fuck that gallifrey.

i also thought you wrote you were going to piss on a form

Not sure why you object to bring asked your title or rank? You could be a Lady, Right Honourable, Major, Dr, OBE, MBE etc. They will want to be sure they address you correctly.

Put "Jedi Master" as your title

I dare you!

I get a bit silly with forms too.

DD is 4 and spent a day at the holiday playscheme in half term, there was a very long form she was supposed to fill in and return via email titled 'all about me'

I filled it in for her though did consult her for some answers, it ended up a with:

What makes you sad?
When people hurt me

What makes you feel better when you are sad?
When people say sorry for hurting me and i put wet tissue on the hurt