Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed off with people "testing" my son?

31 replies

hoovercraft · 14/01/2011 10:17

There seems to be a thing here amongst one or gtwo of the parents - I have had a few "test" my ds.....asking him his spelling test results, asking him to do quick maths and even writing. This is done when he goes to play and they are trying to compare their own child's abilities.

The child is in year ONE ffs...leave him alone

AIBU in thinking this is really really U?

OP posts:
KnittedBreast · 14/01/2011 10:18

they just want to see how well hes doing, they are proud of him.

mutznutz · 14/01/2011 10:19

OMG I don't know why I just burst out laughing...probably because it's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

No you are not being unreasonable!

Original poster
hoovercraft · 14/01/2011 10:20

glass half full knittebreast? lol

OP posts:
Original poster
hoovercraft · 14/01/2011 10:20

He also gets quizzed on what he is reading.

OP posts:
sloggies · 14/01/2011 10:21

I would consider that part of the slightly weird/anxious Competitive Parenting thing....YANBU.

Original poster
hoovercraft · 14/01/2011 10:22

im half expecting one of them to hand him a rubicks cube and sit him down whilst starting the stopwatch in their firm hand

OP posts:
FellatioNelson · 14/01/2011 10:22

I would never have done such a crass thing when my children were younger. I wasn't above rifling through visiting children's bookbags and reading their parent/teacher diaries though. Blush

webwiz · 14/01/2011 10:22

er I don't think so KnittedBreast its a bit weird to have a child round to play and then "test" them. If it was grandparents it would be different. Teach your son to spell something really really difficult and get him to say that whenever they askWink.

MollieO · 14/01/2011 10:23

Extreme competitive parenting. Ignore. Be concerned when the school start testing your Ds without your knowledge or permission, which happened to me.

Original poster
hoovercraft · 14/01/2011 10:23

Oh yes, they look at the communication books and which readers he is up to as well.

OP posts:
DuplicitousBitch · 14/01/2011 10:25

shame on you fellatio! what nutters.

Original poster
hoovercraft · 14/01/2011 10:26

tbh I stopped writing in my son's communication book after i realised parent helper volunteers were readimng and commenting in them. I email the teacher now.

OP posts:
MargaretGraceBondfield · 14/01/2011 10:26

OMG. that's awful, have these people no shame or perspective?

orangepoo · 14/01/2011 10:29

Seen a parent test another parent's 1yo!!

MollieO · 14/01/2011 10:30

There are also those parents who get out the reading books, spelling test results in front of others and make comments about how fantastic their Ds is at reading/spelling. I think it is all a bit Hmm

mutznutz · 14/01/2011 10:35

I stood in the playground and listened to a mother describe her reception class daughter as a 'Straight A student'...I kid you not Hmm

timetomove · 14/01/2011 10:35

Do you think they test other children in this way too or just your DS (and if just your DS, why him? Does he have a reputation for being particularly bright?)

FellatioNelson · 14/01/2011 10:38

I hate that term 'straight A student.' It's such a minomer. Very few students are any such thing, what, brilliant at English Maths, and science, music, and sport and Art? Hmm And until you get to senior school there is rarely a culture of grading things in terms on A-E, anyway. Americanised Bollocks is what that is. View anyone who says that with suspicion.

KangarooCaught · 14/01/2011 10:40

Parent helpers sometimes comment in dcs' reading record (dh wants to correct the spelling & punctuationHmm) but don't have a problem with it, teachers don't have time to fill them in - but is a 'communication book' more personal/private?

I've had an anxious parent, concerned her dd isn't being pushed enough, cross-examine me about where ds is at (he's v able in the context of the school), think she was disappointed with my lack of in-depth knowledge.

Original poster
hoovercraft · 14/01/2011 10:46

timetomove I believe these do it with every child who visits. Its rife. It is at least 2 lots of parents who i know have done this and my own sister does it to my ds when we visit.

OP posts:
FellatioNelson · 14/01/2011 10:51

I think if a TA or Parent Helper is writing to say they have heard your child read that is fine, and reassuring. I'd be a bit Hmm if they started commenting on things that you would expect the teacher to handle though.

Original poster
hoovercraft · 14/01/2011 10:52

We dont have a book specifically for reading. Its a general communication book and for comments about anything and everything (or nothing).

OP posts:
SummerRain · 14/01/2011 10:58

A woman at an internet meetup (not MN) once took it upon herself to start quizzing my 19 month old dd on her colours Hmm

WhyHavePets · 14/01/2011 11:00

If this is happeneing in other poeples homes how do you know about it? Unless of coure you get ds to recount everything that has been asked and said during a visit...which would make you just as bad as them wouldn't it?

WhyHavePets · 14/01/2011 11:02

Summerrain, you don't think she was just interacting with your dd then? Hmm

Good god some people are soo touchy! No wonder there is so much going on in the "irrational grudges" thread!

Swipe left for the next trending thread