Forgetting to collect the children

[MatureUniStudent]

My mother moved down to "help" me with my four children when my ex moved out. Today my mother was 25 minutes late to collect my eldest. The result was, I bundled up a sick child and drove the eldest to the train station so she could go and visit her baby brother who had an operation today. She missed the train and was over an hour late causing my little son to cry worrying he would miss seeing his sister before his operation.

This is not the first time she has forgotten to collect her grandchildren.

She says we are all making a fuss out of nothing but my children have never been forgotten or not collect from school until my mother got involved.

I am furious. And none of the children trust her not to forget to collect them. To me, this is one of the unforgiveable sins.

Any advice?

Why did she miss her train?

Couldn't she have looked after your poorly child and taken your DD in to see your DS? I'm confused

I mean you could have taken DD to hospital

Grandmum didn't drive her to the station as promised (ie 25 minutes late to take her). This meant she also missed the hourly connecting bus. We are v rural.

How old are your DC? My mother was perpetually late to collect me - other mothers were forever offering me lifts, thinking I'd been forgotten. I didn't like waiting but can't say it has scarred me for life.

Different if yours are young children so safety issues though.

She had a prior engagement so agreed to drop off eldest on her way to her appointment.

Also, hospital is 2.5 hour journey away, and ex is with little son as the ill child at home has just come out of another hospital day before. (all illness coming at once!)

If it were my mom I think I would be more forgiving, my mother forgot me occasionally.
But maybe I don't understand the details. A lot depends on how old they are.
Am a little confused as you say first that she was 25 minutes late but elsewhere that she forgot, there's a difference between being late and completely forgetting.

If you can't trust her to collect them, then don't ask her to do it. They're your kids.

Maybe there are reasons for her memory lapses?

I guess at end of the day if you find that you can't rely on her than you have to only ask her to help you in ways that you won't miss her too much if she flakes out.

I think that is the conclusion I am coming to Magic - She has no medical reason to forgot the children - she remembers and is prompt with her appointments.

I need to be able to trust her to collect the children, the childminder never forgot.

I can understand your annoyance. Unfortunatly some people can't be relied on for their timekeeping - I had a friend who we always told the meeting time was 1/2 hour before it actually was - and he was still always last to arrive!

TBH it sounds like your having a really rough time of it and I can understand that you wanted to feel like you could rely on your mum during this time.