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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to still not feel normal after 16 weeks?

18 replies

EBDteacher · 07/12/2010 21:31

I am 30. DS1 (who was a surprise Hmm) is 16 weeks today.

I had a crap pregnancy and felt sick as a dog from this time last year until May. Then felt fat and exhausted until August when DS was born by EmCS because his huge, wrong-way-facing, head was stuck in my pelvis.

I am due back at work (part-time) in January and still feel bl**dy knackered. I don't feel over the whole thing at all!

DS is doing really well, sleeping through on 1 feed, some sort of emergent routine. AIBU to still be feeling shell shocked??

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtis · 07/12/2010 21:34

Do you mean emotionally or physically? Neither would be a surprise.

Check out whether you are anaemic if you haven't already done so.

Tiredmumno1 · 07/12/2010 21:36

Do you feel you are coping emotionally?

rookiemater · 07/12/2010 21:38

YANBU at all. It takes a good few weeks to get over a C-section coupled with all the usual early day stresses of lack of sleep etc. If it's any consolation I only started to get into my stride when DS was 4-6 months and was sleeping better and able to coo and gurgle.

How part time are you? Any chance you can postpone until you feel better?

clumsymumsnowdriftbaby · 07/12/2010 21:42

i felt utterly awful for a year,turned out i had pnd and anxiety brought on by all the...well...anxiety.
i is probably that you are just simply shell shocked,as you say,but try to
talk to someone,anyone,preferably a doctor who will refer you,im not saying there is something wrong,just that if there is,just having it acknowledged might make you feel better iyswim.

Original poster
EBDteacher · 07/12/2010 21:43

I am taking iron tablets so shouldn't be anaemic- perceptive call though because I have always been in and out of anaemia.

I thought I did fabulously well emotionally up to about 12 weeks when it was 'supposed' to be difficult and the after 12 weeks when it was 'supposed' to get easier I hit the wall.

I have been jokingly telling my friends that I have PTSD from finding out I was pg this time last year.. but I actually feel like that! I'm even haunted by morning sickness!

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtis · 07/12/2010 21:44

I also had PN d/a after DS1 (EMCS) and only really realised when I felt so different after DS2. Didn't take the anaemia seriously either

BaronessBomburst · 07/12/2010 21:45

I didn't feel normal at 16 weeks. I'm not sure when it did turn around to be honest, but DS is now nearly 10 months and I suddenly find that my clothes fit again, the house is clean, and I've even started tackling some of the bigger jobs eg gloss painting that needed finishing off. A life is finally coming into view!

It does get better, and going back to work will help. It will make you feel like a normal person again. Being with a baby 24/7 is the most exhausting thing that can happen. Work will be a rest.

FunkySnowSkeleton · 07/12/2010 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JamieLeeCurtis · 07/12/2010 21:46

Well, maybe you've hit the nail on the head there. You've had a very difficult time but have just had t get on with it. Now some (the worst) is over, the reality hits. And at 4 months babies are still very very dependent (obviously) but haven't yet got to the funner bits

Original poster
EBDteacher · 07/12/2010 21:47

Thanks for the posts though. At least I am not just bonkers!

rookiemater I am doing mornings Mon - Fri and yes, I could postpone my return but I have a really lovely CM lined up who I was lucky to get a place with and I will lose her if I don't take her up in Jan.

OP posts:
Pinkieminx · 07/12/2010 21:49

YANBU at all - I had PND and still have non-normal days at 13 months. I signed up for all this, so the thought of having it thrust upon me [shudder] would send me over the edge. My friend says it takes your body 2 years to fully recover from pregnancy - take your time Smile

BigTeuchLittleTeuch · 07/12/2010 21:50

I remember thinking at about 12wks that I was 'coming out of it'...

Then at about 6mths I looked back with some disbelief at my thinking that was me back to normal!

Still get your bloods checked - I was on iron tablets but was still low as I wasn't ingesting it properly or something. I switched to the liquid stuff and noticed a difference.

Also, there is no bit that ie 'easier' or 'more difficult'. Everyone is different. I find the newborn stage far easier that the toddler stage, for example.

And definitely speak to GP/HV about the things that you are 'jokingly' referring to with friends - may be something or nothing but there is lots of support available if you need it.

stickersarecurrency · 07/12/2010 21:53

I can identify, having had a suprise first baby. I think it's completely emotionally exhausting, coming to terms with an unexpected pregnancy. So you're already worn out when the baby arrives.

I'll be honest and say I don't think I felt properly ok until about a year had passed. But then DS was a really miserable baby which added to my anxiety and stress hugely. I think you should be kind to yourself and not expect too much. Babies are really tiring and sapping and once you get this bit out of the way I reckon you'll feel better.

PacificDogwood · 07/12/2010 21:54

EBD, IME (DS4 is almost 9 months now) it takes about a year for the fog to lift, give or take a month or 2 - and that was the case no matter what kind of pregnancy or delivery (induction, emCS, VBAC x2) I had.
I figure it takes 9 months to make a baby, so I am jolly well allowed at least 9 months to recover from it all as well Wink.
You may have a degree of PND or anaemia so get that assessed, but equally you may just need some time to adjust to the fact that your life Will Never Be The Same Again. I know that was a big factor for me...

WRT your CM: would she accept a retainer to keep a place open for your DS if you wanted to defer your return to work?

Hope you feel better soon Smile.

WentBlank · 07/12/2010 21:55

It took me a long time to get over having my first - and I felt exactly like you (shell shocked!) In some ways getting back to 'normal' helped take my mind off things although you should watch out for PND

WentBlank · 07/12/2010 21:56

It took me a long time to get over having my first - and I felt exactly like you (shell shocked!) In some ways getting back to 'normal' helped take my mind off things although you should watch out for PND

Original poster
EBDteacher · 07/12/2010 22:01

I am glad I am not just being a nut job! Thank you all Smile.

I drove home from an appointment today with tears running down my face at the mere thought of adding work into the mix. I have a job I LOVE but I have no idea whether going back is going to make things better because I will feel more normal or just tip me over the edge! I have already cancelled Christmas Xmas Hmm.

We will see!

OP posts:
ChildofIsis · 07/12/2010 22:03

Don't forget that you've had an operation and then went home to look after a new baby.

Most post-operative patients are told to rest completely at first and build up the amount you do.

Go easy on yourself and see the GP if ypou still feel exhausted.

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