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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know I was ... but what do I do now?

14 replies

bytheMoonlight · 05/12/2010 22:01

I gave birth 4 weeks ago, just recovering from mastitis so not in the best frame of mind right now.

I stupidly left dd's advent calender where she could reach it this morning and she opened some the doors and ripped bits of it when I was doing lunch.

It was a nice pop up one and instead of understanding that she is three, and ultimatly my fault, I made her sit in time out for three minutes and then threw the calender in the bin which meant folding it in half. I told her she was bad and that she wouldn't have a door to open when she got up in the morning.

I know this was awful and am now guilt ridden. But what do I do? Buy her a new calender even though I told her wouldn't have one now? Let her go the rest of December without one (seems really cruel)

Need advice to try and make up for my bad parenting Blush

OP posts:
ilovemyfestivehens · 05/12/2010 22:04

Just let it go. She'll forget about it soon enough.

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 05/12/2010 22:06

retrieve from bin or buy another one. :)

Pancakeflipper · 05/12/2010 22:08

Aww poor you and poor her. Call a truce tomorrow. Don't make an issue out of it. We all stuff up - go abit OTT. Don't beat yourself up over it.

Tomorrow sayvit was wrong to eat the chocs but it was of mummy to do what she did. And with her make one. One MNetter had a fabby idea of envelopes attached with pegs to string.

pointythings · 05/12/2010 22:08

Either get her a new calendar or get her something else chocolatey that she can have one of every day as per the ritual. Is your tree up yet - if so, can you hang a chocolate on it for her?

Not bad parenting, just you being human - she will forget about it.

Childproofing against sweet burglars is a major nightmare...

autodidact · 05/12/2010 22:09

Buy her a proper one with chocolates. They'll be reduced in Tesco, probably.

pointythings · 05/12/2010 22:09

Oh, and mastitis is killer, I recall fever and pain and insanity, so YANBU - just do what you can to restore harmony.

Serendippy · 05/12/2010 22:10

I would say sorry, explain that Mummy is very tired and that as she did her 3mins time out that was her punishment so she can have another advent calendar. Will mean nothing to her, she will forget about it soon enough but will make you feel loads better.

Also tell her if she does it again, calendar will be gone for good!

belindarose · 05/12/2010 22:11

I don't think OP said she ate any chocolates! There are still the odd few advent calendars that don't have them in. Retrieve and repair it. Or apologise and get a new one.

Original poster
bytheMoonlight · 05/12/2010 22:12

It wasn't even a chocolate one!

I like the idea of making one with envelopes with her, nice and cheap as well, not sure what I could put in it though. Haven't got the money (or energy) to go and buy lots of different things

OP posts:
pointythings · 05/12/2010 22:15

bytheMoonlight,

How about stickers? Get 1-2 sheets of really nice ones, cut in pieces and put them in the envelopes, let your DD decorate a special drawing with them (she'll probably end up giving it to you).

You sound lovely, and you have a lot to put up with with a 3yo and newborn.

Pancakeflipper · 05/12/2010 22:15

Buy 1 packet of choc buttons and/ or jelly tots and put 1 or 2 in each envelope. You'll have your supermummy status reinstated immediately.

2ticks · 05/12/2010 22:17

Oh that's really difficult as if you get her another one then you've kind of gone back on the original issue (and I'm not sure a 3 year old would really understand a long conversation about how you know you overreacted and so she can now have another one), but it was a bit harsh, and I can understand how you would want to fix it.

If there's anyway that the original can be retrieved from the bin, then that would be good - patch it up and then you can talk to her about taking better care of it. Otherwise, you could buy another one and it could "arrive in the post" from a relative/friend so it replaces the original, and you can have the same 'taking better care of it this time' chat.

Don't be hard on yourself about the original calendar though. There are countless times that I wish I'd handled things differently with my children, and you are still in the very early sleep-deprived crazy hormone stage with your new one!

toddlerwrangler · 05/12/2010 22:19

Say sorry, expalin muumy isnt feeling very well, and go out and choose a new calander together?

Original poster
bytheMoonlight · 05/12/2010 22:24

I think envelopes with stickers and a few chocolate surprises is what I'll do with her tomorrow.

Thanks everyone, esp. for not calling me a terrible mother Blush

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