How do I strike the balance regarding ds's allergy?

[mawbroon]

My ds is 20 months with quite a nasty egg allergy.
He loves his food and would eat food off the floor or happily take food off someone elses plate or eat food that was handed to him.
When we go to parties etc, I have to hover over ds the whole time making sure that he isn't going to snaffle a bit of cake or put his hand in a mayo dip (hives on contact) or wander into the kitchen and open the fridge and end up playing with the eggs or the salad cream or the like.
Is he too young to start explaining that there are certain things that he can't eat? Is my hovering over him being overprotective? I don't want to ask other mothers not to have cake at birthday parties. I want him to be able to sit and eat with other kids and I don't want him to be labelled as the one with the egg allergy. Is this possible? Or do I just have to hover until he is old enough to understand? And how do I get him to understand without terrifying the poor child?

we told the child i nanny for (who's now 5 and anaphalactic to dairy)from quite an early age about her allergy and just said it would make her sick/itchy.unfortunatly it doesn't sink in until prob about 3yrs when they become more aware and you'll find that you do have to be protective when your'e not at your own home and hover over him at parties.we had a few incidents at parties when she was about 2 ish.people offering her pizza and me shouting NO across the living room like a looney,and once i went to the loo and a friend who was fully aware of allergy giving her a jelly sweet not realizing it contained yogurt(from m+s)but was such a minute amount she just vomited and luckily was ok.
A friend of mine had a t-shirt printed up for her son with a pic of an egg on with red cross through it and saying "i am allergic to egg please do not feed me" her ds wore this to parties.
i think allergy's are more common now and i wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't the only one at a party with an allergy.we have lots of friends from school etc with allergy's and even people who's children don't do tend to be very helpful about party food either removing things from menu or keeping out of reach so an adult has to give out.
As for birthday cake could you not make some egg free fairy cakes and freeze them,then on day of paty defrost ice and take with you i'm sure he wouldn't mind as long as he is getting something.sorry this post is sooo long but i really feel for you as it is hard work. good luck

Thanks weezy. That must have been difficult for you dealing with somebody elses child with such a severe allergy.
Re cakes and things, I am so far just going down the line that he doesn't get any cakes/biscuits at all. Firstly because at 20 months, he doesn't need cakes and biscuits (not that anybody does at any age of course!) and secondly I am thinking it might confuse him more that he can have some cakes and not others. He either doesn't mind or doesn't notice if he is the only one not having a cake/biscuit but the day will come when he's going to want to be the same.

it is quite difficult but have been doing it for over 4yrs and now onto child number 2 who looks like she may have multiple allergys aswell.
when i started with 5 yr old she was 1yr old and was intolerant to wheat,yeast,eggs,dairy and soya but luckily she grew out of most of them by the time she was 3 (apart from dairy of course)good for you on the no
cakes/biscuits front i prob would have done the same but as i'm not her parent didn't have that control.

he's not too young to start explaining, although it will be several years before you can expect them to really understand. If there is a way to avoid frightening them I haven't found it .