When do you start leaving them at birthday parties?

[superoz]

dd is now 7 and whenever she goes to a birthday party I tend to bring her own food as the Mum organising it feels it would be safer that way. Apart from her best friend who has allergies in the family, I have always stayed during parties but now they are at the age where most parents drop and go.
Obviously I can't do this with dd yet just in case something happened (she is not anaphylactic, just hives) but I just wondered when do you feel comfortable leaving them on their own? Or do you ever?!

I've seen this before on here and it's very hard. From what I have gleaned most don't leave them if they're prone to anaphylactic shock. But since your DD does not have that risk, I would leave her and let the host know that you're nearby. Maybe go to a cafe? Or make sure you're not too far away.

I think when a) I'm confident that the child knows what they can and can't eat and b) when the food on offer looks fine.

Otherwise I used to take a book and sit in the car.

I still get a bit twitchy.

Up to end of Yr1 I sat in the car and froze to death so I was on hand in case there was a problem. We'd drummed it into DS from a very early age that there was no swapping, no eating other food etc so I was fairly confident. Come Yr2 the whole class parties tailed off thank god and since then invites have generally been to the parties of friends where the parents know DS and are comfortable with being in charge of his epi-pen.

Suspect I may turn into a party lurker. Was at a 5th birthday party last year (was there because my 2yo was also invited (is multiple allergy)); friend's 5yo allergy child was there on his own, though the birthday parents had been briefed and the child is v good at knowing what to eat, what not. Birthday parents brought over special lollies for him as he couldn't eat the others. Suggested i could read contents to check (basically stopping them giving to him directly). Birthday dad read contents as was in german, turned out to be just as problematic. V. glad he didn't get them, but they looked just like haribos so poor kid would never have known not to eat them (haribos are ok)...

The last party dd went to the Mum offered to take her but it was at a soft play in the middle of nowhere, after I mentioned her allergies she ended up giving me and dd2 a lift too as she felt more comfortable that way.
Good idea though about cafe/car. I'll try out of the building but nearby in case something happens.