Want to give up...

[OCB15]

I am drinking a bottle of wine a night, have done for years and dont want to do it anymore. Im fed up with thinking about it and spending money on it.
Does anyone have any tips please? Ive just got the book 'unexpected joy of being sober' and hoping that will help.
Thanks!

Is it secretive drinking, do you live alone? Or do you live with family etc? It would help to have someone on your side, who knows you have a problem that you really want to solve so they can help when you feel a wobble, as you will get that itch and you will he able to do the mental gymnastics to justify a glass. Something will happen in your day to make you feel challenged or inconvenienced and then the thoughts begin. I know this from two of my aunts who are trying to battle evening drinking, one of whom its wine.

Having someone else who knows would be helpful, or even hopefully using this thread as support when you feel the itch come on here and let people know. I'm sure more people will be along soon with better advice than me and perhaps lived experience, but I'd say be proud that you've recognised its a problem first and foremost as so many don't have its the first step to more control over your life!

Hi thanks for your reply.
I live with my daughters aged 23, 20 and 12. I dont want to say anything to them about it, they know I drink.
I could speak to my best friend. She likes a drink too but dont think she drinks s much as me.
Im even thinking about tonight, I dont have anything in and thinking I need to go to the shop but ideally what I would like is a nice dinner and a hot pudding.
I dont eat properly either and tend to have lunch and then snack in evenings.

I was like this. The biggest effector of change for me was that the day I gave up (as opposed to previous attempts) instead of having a mindset of “I’m giving up drinking” I tried to draw a hard line between old me and new me, and had the alternative mindset of “I don’t drink.” It really helped me because I didn’t have the psychological pressure of wondering how long I’ll last this time. There was no reason to wonder, when the decision is that I will never drink again, ever.

Something else that really helped was writing down how awful I feel and all the reasons I wanted to give up drinking, with the date on the page. Sometimes I read it now and can’t believe how bad things were, and think how lucky I am that I broke through.

Another great read is “The Sober Diaries” by Clare Pooley, as well as “Glorious Rock Bottom” by Bryony Gordon.

Podcast-wise I recommend searching the Naked Life Stories within the This Naked Life podcast. I like these because it’s just people speaking without interruption about how much they used to drink and why they decided to give up.

Good luck, it’s the best thing I ever did.

I was/am a big beer drinker. Stated Mounjaro and haven’t felt like or had a drop of booze since. My entire interest and desire vanished. Just an idea.

I did that last year, lost 2 stone just over, feel so much better but it didnt put me off wine unfortunately.

These are good tips. I did similar and it has stuck. It's nice having a bath or doing your nails in the evenings,I also enjoy adult colouring. Keeps my hand busy. I read about sobriety too .
Have your why. A big motivation for me has been wanting to show my kids that you don't have to drink to enjoy yourself. I was brought up to feel that drink was central to a good life and it's a big motivator to me to show my kids a different, healthier way. I can revert back to my why when I get nostalgic for booze.
It sounds like you've lost an inspiring amount of weight, so really shows you can make big changes, not drinking is just another one. Good luck with this.

This might be a good place to start and get some support.

https://www.changegrowlive.org

Hey! I'm in a similar place, with don't you join us on the sober for October thread? I also joined the sober girl society and do some of their online stuff and am in the what's app groups. I also have an AF Instagram account for myself which I use to surround myself with motivation.
Find some AF drinks you like - dont bother with reds and take each day as it comes. You've got this!

Tell them. Until you confront your issue and the shame and guilt and get support you aren’t really willing to give up. Hiding it is an attempt to give yourself an ‘out’ so you can return to drinking if you want to.

You need people to hold you accountable and witness you. Otherwise you can always sneak the drink again without losing any face.