Long term alcohol abuse - how do I stop?

[Melanisticbarnowl]

I started drinking to deal with an emotionally abusive relationship. I didn’t know about gaslighting, stonewalling, sexual coercion, narcissism, mysogyny etc (many of the classic freedom programme behaviours) - until all of a sudden, during the first Covid lockdown, I realised my relationship was not a healthy one, even though I couldn’t describe why at the time.

I drank for years in order to not care (mainly about the sexual coercion).

It took 3 years from the penny drop moment during Covid to actually get a divorce and move into my own home.

I have been living in my own home for 3 years now. I thought I’d be able to stop drinking but I haven’t. My doctor said I have ptsd. But I can’t get counselling for ptsd on the nhs unless I stop drinking - but I can’t stop drinking until I deal with the ptsd. I had a scan, and I have a fatty liver. Most days, I can feel my liver aching ;(

I have been drinking 14-20 units per evening for almost 9 years, and I want to stop but can’t seem to.

Drinking stops my ptsd nightmares. I have managed to not drink on some evenings, but it has a massive impact on my sleep - I don’t get to sleep till 3/4am and when I do sleep, the nightmares are brutal and vivid.

I only drink in the evenings. I am a self employed single mum and hold down a part time, but very academic job during the day.

what do I do?

I feel for you OP. I can relate to a lot you have said. My evening med combination allows me to sleep but not dream the majority of time.

Have you been referred to support groups for the alcohol. You know you can't go cold turkey so you need to safely reduce. Once at that point, there is medication you can take that makes your body reject alcohol, same way champex is used for smoking.

What alcohol are you drinking? Spirits, wine, beer?

You can take temporary measures to stop that won’t fix the core problem but will get you to the place where you can access therapy. In your position I’d honestly consider naltrexone temporarily to stop the drinking so you can get help. There is also a blood pressure medication prescribed off label for PTSD nightmares. It’s a miracle worker, literally just stops them.

I’d speak to my GP about those options because it does sound like therapy will help you the most.

Can you ask GO to refer you to a hospital that can actually help you? I know my ex had care in a hospital and counselling as part of the treatment as they go hand in hand .This was years ago mind or would you be able to pay for private comic? Again they deal with the whole rather than just alcohol or counselling.

Im glad you realise that you have a problem with alcohol and it’s great you went to your Gp,that doesn’t happen very often and I really hope you get help-you deserve it

What's your BMI? One of the effects of the skinny jabs is to reduce alcohol cravings. It all helps. Especially with counselling and support at the same time.

I engaged with the local alcohol service, but they couldn’t address the ptsd. I’m paying for private therapy at the moment, but all it is showing me is that because I’m the sort of person who helps people, I make friends and they then disappear when they don’t need me any more. It’s made me feel lonely ;(

my bmi is high enough for weight loss jabs/tablets - I had considered trying it. Drinking is definitely a part of my weight gain over the last few years.

I’m trying to boost myself up to go to the doctor again. I went about a year ago and promised to stop, but then didn’t.

When you go to GPs ask them if you can be prescribed doxazosin, its prescribed off license for sleep for ptsd. I take quetiapine as well, that gets me off to sleep, the doxazosin generally stops the dreams. I was part of the clinical trials within the military. Brownie points, also help with high BP. It makes me sleep a good 8/10hrs.

Hopefully he has heard of using doxazosin, if not theres loads of websites with the research etc if he just googles doxazosin off licence PTSD.

Good luck x

Personally for myself, family and others I know the weights loss injections have helped to slow down amount of alcohol and cigarettes, you just dont want it.

My dm was a 2 bottles of wine per day drinker for over 15 years which is related to ptsd. When she was ready to address it she hit several brick walls trying to access help too and it is really frustrating.

I know services etc differ depending on where you are but here’s how things went for her:
GP referred to addiction support who saw her twice per week. Their approach was for her to buy lower alcohol wine (10% max) and after a week, start pouring out half a glass when she opened the bottle then continue as normal. Then every week or so, pour out more and more until she got down to just under 1 bottle.
She couldn’t do this for a long while. She would buy the wine and me and my siblings would pour the amount away.

At the same time, the GP prescribed an antihistamine that essentially knock you out (along with meds to protect her liver) so she could sleep.
They also changed her antidepressant and increased the dose.

2 months later, she was just about down to 1 bottle, was emotionally and psychologically fragile and struggling so was referred to Mind who provided counselling for 8 weeks.

As this finished, her NHS counselling started. She was initially told it was 8 sessions but they extended several times and she ended up being seen for 6 months.

At the end, she was sober. Only took the sleeping meds every few days. Antidepressant dose stabilised and she went back to Mind who provided counselling but just one session per month.

I think if weight loss jabs had been an option she would have taken them.

For you OP, write down every suggestion here and take it to your GP. I think part of the issue is that people just don’t know what to ask for and GPs are overrun.

Good luck. You deserve all the help you need to get sober

You do need to go back to the doctor and be honest about how much you drink. At that level of consumption you won’t be able to simply stop suddenly. You need support OP. Good luck.

Have you tried melatonin for sleep instead? Alcohol doesn’t help you sleep it sedates you. I’m sorry you’re going through this. An AA meeting would be advisable.

Thank you xx

thank you - I will look into the meds you mention, and hopefully pluck up courage to go to my gp to ask for them x

@MelanisticbarnowlI wanted to say well done for asking for help. That itself is the first step and a big achievement. There is some really good advice here and I hope it gives you some steer on what to do next.

When I can't sleep I sometimes take an antihistamine that's for motion sickness, dramamine (dimenhydrinate). Even part of one gets me back to sleep. It seems ok after a glass of wine or two, but maybe look up how it interacts with more alcohol just in case. It might get you through so you can sleep better as you stop drinking, as a stopgap. Obviously no replacement for dealing with PTSD but in the meantime it might ease it enough that you can cut way back?

Sounds like you are ready to make a change.

naltraxone helped me quit 14 years ago, I’m the slimmest, healthiest version I could ever imagine myself to be, my mental health is SO much better.

grateful every day to be sober. I felt like I needed to respond to you, because you sound ready. Good luck x

You've had some really good suggestions here. I started drinking for very similar reasons and continued after my divorce because of cptsd and the fact it's an addictive substance. I had counselling and CBT through NHS talking therapy I had to wait a year. I'm now only a very occasional drinker may a glass of wine if I go out. I did a ton of research and after years of reading self help books I stumbled upon a research paper about how alcohol affects your gut and b vitamins and the knock on effects mentally and physically from this.
This was a game changer for me alcohol wrecks your thiamine and if your not eating well to start with you can become deficient very quickly.

Can you tell me more about how naltrexone helped you, so that I can work out if it might help me?

hopefully the pp will give you their personal experience but this is how naltrexone works generally -

Naltrexone helps reduce alcohol consumption by dampening the brain’s reward response to alcohol. Alcohol normally causes the release of the body’s natural opioids (endorphins), which activate opioid receptors and contribute to the pleasurable, reinforcing feeling that encourages you to keep drinking. Naltrexone blocks these receptors, so alcohol can still make you intoxicated, but it tends to feel less rewarding and less compelling. Over time, this can weaken the learned association between drinking and reward, reducing cravings and, particularly, the urge to continue drinking once you’ve started. It doesn’t make you ill if you drink and doesn’t remove alcohol’s intoxicating effects; rather, it reduces the “I want another one” reinforcement loop.

I read a book about it recently actually, Drink Your Way Sober: The Science-Based Method to Break Free from Alcohol by Katie Herzog.

I’m sorry, just seen this.

Very good description of naltraxone, thankyou fiveyo!

I was prescribed it by the psychiatrist at the community drug and alcohol clinic. It was recommended for 6 weeks (for me) and it really was the most bizarre thing ever, I did not have ONE craving. Not one. I didn’t even test it out!

and from then in, I took it week by week, I’m going to go for 3 months, let’s make it 6… then a year. By that point I was so proud of myself and felt so amazing I kept going

im not going to lie and say it’s all been super easy, it hasn’t. I’ve white knuckled through many many periods, but I did it.

i had group therapy
one on on therapy
read everything
told everyone
went to meetings
went to hypnotists
did everything in my power to stop

well done @nzeire - that sounds life changing ❤️ good luck with your continued journey.

just to add @Melanisticbarnowl it can be hard to access naltrexone via drug and alcohol services but you can buy it from licensed private providers if you google Naltrexone UK various places come up.

I’ve not taken it myself but I know it works really well for lots of people.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/alcohol_support/5574656-the-continuing-support-thread-for-anyone-trying-to-lead-an-alcohol-free-life-summer-into-autumn-2026?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share