I am losing my best friend to alcohol

[Paq]

We have been friends for c.15 years. Our children are bffs. She has always been the one who drank a little too much at parties but now her children are grown she has fewer constraints and every time I see her she is either drunk, on her way to being drunk or recovering from being drunk.

I like a drink and I get tipsy when I want but I rarely get messy drunk. I want to have enjoyable, coherent conversations with my friend when we meet up. I don’t want to be the recipient of repetitive ramblings or shamefaced apologies the following day.

I am starting to avoid her now and it’s upsetting me. Can anyone relate?

If you are already starting to avoid her, you have nothing to lose telling her. It may change nothing. But it's still honest and loving.

Please say something. I no longer drink alcohol and I was the same as your friend. I would have appreciated a concerned friend bringing it up. Yes, she may be embarrassed, but you’d be surprised- she may even be aware of it and having her own struggles. She may be glad it’s been pointed out so she can do something about it. Or, she may deny it and insist there is no problem, in which case, there isn’t much you can do except walk away. Xx

Thanks. I really struggle with the idea of raising it with her. It's such a big part of her identity now she is so far away from understanding it's a problem.

I know it's difficult and it will be awkward and horrible. And she will react poorly because addicts do.

However, it is the act of a friend. You never know what is the catalyst for change. It probably won't be, addiction is strong. But you never know.