I just don't know where to.start!?

[WaryShark]

Hi,
I honestly don't know where to start, except I know I need to start something... I can't speak to anyone in real life and I live in a small, small village so there's no way any support groups would be anonymous.
I've got 2 amazing children, a fiancée ive been with over 10 years, we own our house, I don't work and life is good.. but recently I've found my alcohol use creeping up and up. Ive often had a bottle of wine of an evening, but then it was every evening, then I stopped feeling it, so it was a bottle and a glass, then a bottle and half and now it's 2 and I don't even feel a buzz anymore by the end of it. I constantly feel exhausted, I have a terrible stomach most days and something needs to change.

4.30pm the other night and a week and a bit into the summer holidays and I was stood in the kitchen contemplating opening the bottle before my kids were even in bed...

Where do I go from here.. is 2 bottles a night safe to just stop? What do I replace it with? Maybe I should just go to bed with the kids. Can't drink if I'm asleep.

Thanks.

Well done OP! I've given up twice, as has DH in the last 5 years (long and boring story) but we've both found that it's odd situations that are difficult...the cold beer after a day in the garden, having family over when they want to drink and going out with friends that are the really hard ones, BUT it's the first 'no' to a drink that's by far the most difficult. If you can get past that and once everyone else starts to act tipsy, you start to feel proud of not being and then the non-alc drinks seem worth it.

We've also found that non-alc beer (heineken and corona great, plus others), non alc gin (most of the normal brands are good) and non alc martini vibrante. It looks like a old martini rosso, but tastes a bit like aperol. I get a pint glass, and then put in mini soda water and mini lemonade cans in and then fill up with martini (it's on offer in Sainbos currently!)

Well done on sticking with it and I promise that it gets easier with time. x

I was in your position 2 years ago. Ive been sober since then with one slip up. I too am from a small town so aa wasn't for me. I found a private counsellor who specialises in addiction and I still go to her. She has saved my life. I thought that because I wasn't drinking every night and wasn't drinking during the day that it didnt have a huge impact. Im still learning the impact drinking has had on me and my family.
But oh the relief of not drinking is something I'll never ever get tired of! My life is better in every single way. I will never go back to those days.
I went to bed really early in the early days, I let myself eat as much crap as I wanted, I booked massages. Journalling was so helpful and is eye opening when I read it back now.
Just don't drink today. I still do that and it works. If I can do it anyone can. Good luck.

What’s that got to do with anything?

It really does just creep up, doesn't it? My DH retired in March and we have found ourselves drinking most nights lately. We are on holiday right now and plan to tackle it once we are home. Well done OP on getting started.