Alcoholic family member - why always a drama?

[ThisWiseLemonUser]

My SIL is an alcoholic.. severely decompensated liver, chirrosis varices and so on but she continues to drink.

She has chosen to drink, despite having been to private rehab (drank after 2nd week), supportive family and friends and several offers of AA and similar groups.

She's lied about going to support group and about medication she's taken.

The thing that I don't understand the most is why does there always need to be a drama.. why can she not chose to drink, be civil about it all tell us she's not great and she'll be drinking more etc and we'd be aware... Instead it's full scale dramas, turning up at houses, abuse, threatening her life, police involved, declining support after these events and it's just goes round in circles.

At the start I was so sympathetic and really quite devastated at the situation but now I really feel like a horrible human as I don't have it in me anymore to try and empathise.

I don't really know where I'm going with this, but just to see if anyone else is been in a similar position? I feel it's ruining our family.

I would think there's an underlying mental health issue, perhaps some trauma, and she's self medicating.

Rather than paying lip service to rehab she'd be better spending the money on a psychiatrist and getting a diagnosis and appropriate treatment.

Meanwhile, disengage as much as you can.

She's crying out for help but there's nothing you can do except disengage (bitter experience). Is she on the list for a transplant?

That’s just what they do. It’s part of addiction. Don’t try to rationalise her behaviour. Of course it’s abnormal and self-destructive. That’s the nature of the beast.

You’re not a horrible human though x