Alcohol has destroyed me

[startingover202]

I have ruined my relationship, my family and my health through drinking wine every day.
I am on day 3 of not drinking. I've had anxiety and shaking and my sleeping is bad but I'm determined not to drink.
I was shaking and anxious everyday after a drink as well as constant diarrhoea so I have to ride this out.
I'm slightly better today so hoping tomorrow will be better.
Has anyone else had withdrawal symptoms?
Alcohol services kept telling me not to completely stop but that wasn't helping.

@Name99
I'm southwest London.

There's meeting tomorrow at 20.00 near me and one on Friday at 20.00.
I'm aiming for tomorrow.
The Friday one is also online but I think I prefer face to face.

Best of luck OP. You can do it 💪

I know you don't think it but I think you're doing really well, ten out of 14 days sober and continuing to own it and planning a meeting tomorrow. Wishing you the very best and cheering you on.

Ah I'm nowhere near you.

You need to go to a meeting, you know you have a problem, you know you can't do it alone.
There is help out there, but you have to take that step ( which is scary) i cried for weeks in meetings when i first started.

You need do it yourself by getting to a meeting, once you do that 1st scary bit, AA takes over and helps you, every single person in a meeting will understand you, they will understand how your mind works, they will understand how hard it was to walk through that door or log on.
There's nothing to be scared about in reality it's just the thought of doing it and admitting that it's come to this.
It's ok, there is help there for you. Just do it

Thank you everyone.

I have downloaded the unexpected joy of being sober.

Good luck @startingover202 I am going to my first AA meeting this week (in SW London too).

I am taking your post as a personal sign - it was like I needed to read it today. Saying all of the good times you have had reminded me of myself - however I dont think I have had a good time drinking in years - its always marred by me offending someone or saying inappropriate stuff. Its takes my energy etc etc.

Wishing you all the very best x

@StellaGibson2022
Yes!!! Always started out as a good time but always took it too far.
Being offensive or argumentative or acting like an idiot and embarrassing myself and on too many occasions, pissing myself on the way home. The drunk phone calls and texts. Urgh.

Good luck in your meeting tomorrow and in your journey to be free alcohol free.

My friends in AA are some of the most together people I know. It is much, much more than just sobriety.

You have great insight, that's going to be a real help in your recovery. Do go to AA. It's a bit strange at first, so give the meeting you go to a chance and keep going for a few weeks. Each meeting is different - they develop their own characters, if you like, and it's perfectly OK to swap around a bit once you're on the road.

My tip is lots of sugar! Alcohol provides a very ready source of sugar, which is why there were always mountains of biscuits to had when I was in rehab. They put new arrivals in withdrawal on sedatives for a couple of days, but it sounds like you're strong enough to get past it without them. A lot of the shaky feeling is sugar withdrawal, and this isn't the right time to worry about carbs.

Good luck, go well

Good luck @startingover202

Anyone who has drunk like many of us here have, knows that moderation is impossible.

What helped me was getting to a point where I didn’t even want to moderate, didn’t want to be one of those so called “normal drinkers”

As well as AA, read all the quit lit you can get your hands on. My fav is William Porter, Alcohol Explained. I read that and lost all interest in alcohol. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.

You can feel that way too. Keep going.

Enjoy the book and I would suggest you go to a supermarket and stock up on alcohol free beers and wines as a lot of drinking is just pure habit. You will read this book and see yourself on each page. Please respect yourself your body, mind heart and soul is precious. Get your respect back. Drink multiplies all problems it tricks us into thinking it dissolves them. Think of your morning sickness and terrible anxiety and the shame that comes with this, this is all self inflicted, start walking listening to podcasts get fresh air and your light will shine again. Life is hard enough without abusing your body and the damage to your liver that you are doing yourself. When you lash out it's not you that's lashing out it's booze that's lashing out. Why would you let your body be used as a vehicle for craziness, bitterness and nastiness? Alcohol is a poison our bodies, minds and souls are not designed for a toxic substance. I wish you well you can do this. Respect was my golden wish when I stopped drinking xxx

I wouldn't have thought alcohol free versions or anything like the alcohol habits and rituals would be helpful, but maybe I'm wrong. I would imagine that to be a real trigger.

How are you doing OP and did you make the meeting?

thats my experience, but they can help with the transition to sobriety

Also wondering how you are OP ? Have been following this thread and hoping you can use it to offload.

Just to let everyone know I've failed.
I didn't go to the meeting I'm still drinking.

So sorry.

I don't want to be this person anymore.

I'm so tired. It feels easier to just give up.

Tomorrow is a new day please try again, don't give up on u to ourself

I'm so upset.

I can't stop crying. I know I'm gonna wake us feeling like shit and buy a bottle to get rid of that feeling.

You haven't failed and you don't owe any of us an apology but keep going, keep trying. What stopped you going to the meeting I wonder? It is really hard to say goodbye to something that seems like a best friend. But this is a really shit, false friend that doesn't care about you and that leaves you feeling crap. I hope you will pour the rest of what you've goy down the sinn, take some pain relief, get an early night and go again tomorrow. You can do it. Millions have felt like you and millions have done it. Keep posting.

I didn't go because my work schedule is so hard.
I'm permanently tired.

Alcohol services have discharged me even though they didn't call.

AA said someone would call but they didn't.

There's no help

So low tonight

You’ve not failed! You’re not dead so it’s not game over! Keep going! Don’t let this turn into a spiral, just get back on it. You. Have. Not. Failed. You’re still here! 💖

It’s normal to have these false starts. You’re not alone or unusual in this sense. But you have taken a big step forward in admitting you have a problem.

You don’t need a call back from AA. Forget about speaking to them on the phone, just head to your next meeting.